Oh, teabaggers! You so crazy!

(For a good time, go to the 0:51 point.)

For what it's worth, the kind of guy — degenerative disorder of the central nervous system or not — who sits down in front of a bunch of angry protesters looking all Mr. Sad Face with a sign that says "Got Parkinson's" probably isn't a Crown Prince of Common Sense himself.

But, wow, do the jackals take the bait and just totally run with it! It's like they were having a contest to see who could win the World Cup for Biggest Conservative Caricature.

(via Wonkette)

From Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal…

This seems to me to be a slightly flattering portrayal of the level of scientific disourse on Capitol Hill.

Poor, poor Melissa Hart. When the former representative of Pennsylvania's 4th district lost her seat to Rep. Jason Altmire in the '06 midterms, the terms of her Faustian bargain with Mephistopheles, Chairman of Lobbyists were complete, and thus she was snatched bodily from Capitol Hill and dragged screaming and thrashing into the deepest, darkest realms of K Street before she was even able to reclaim her Volkswagen Jetta from the congressional parking garage…

There it sits, a sad and harrowing reminder of what awaits all congresspeople who trifle lightly with dark powers beyond their control, the etchings of her former colleagues on its dust-caked veneer — "F-ing wash me!," "I wish my wife was this dirty," "Drill here" — belying the unsettling pang it roils in the pit of their stomachs.

And Hart? What has become of her? She is merely a shade, a transient lobbyist spirit drifting from one congressional desk to the next, always offering money for votes at the behest of her unholy Lord of Kickbacks.

The results of President Obama's first medical checkup as a White House resident are in: excellent health overall, still chewing nicotine gum to keep from smoking (allegedly), creaky left knee from playing sports… and high cholesterol?

Seriously? The guy who works out six days a week, the guy who lied to our No. 1 trade partner about eating their fried dough?

Yep, that guy…

Robert Gibbs, the White House press secretary, said Sunday that the [cholesterol] increase was attributed to the president's diet. While Mr. Obama often eats healthful meals prepared by the family's chef, Sam Kass, he also takes advantage of around-the-clock food available to him during long workdays at the White House, Mr. Gibbs said.

"I think it's a few more burgers and a few more desserts over the past year," he said.

Kind of surprising, given how carefully Obama ate during the stresses of the campaign. Also, he will not disrobe for the doctor:

One oddity of the report: Mr. Obama weighed 179.9 pounds with his shoes and workout attire on, which is not the usual way to measure a patient’s weight.

Aha. So he hides the burgers in the pockets of his gym shorts and the cigarettes in his sneakers.

"Goes to the gym six days a week." Gotcha.

Former Vice President Dick Cheney — who has previously suffered somewhere between three and nineteen heart attacks — was hospitalized with chest pains yesterday.

Whoa whoa whoa whoa! Don't panic. He appears to be in good condition…

Former Vice President Dick Cheney was "feeling good" a day after being hospitalized with chest pains, a source who spoke to Cheney said Tuesday…

Cheney's doctors were evaluating his situation, a family source said. Another source said Cheney, 69, is up and in touch with his family and friends.

Dr. Sanjay Gupta, CNN's chief medical correspondent, called Cheney's mobility "a good sign."

It's such a load off  my mind to know that Vice President Cheney is "feeling good." It truly is "a good sign."

With a little luck, he'll be up and back to hard-core petitioning for medieval torture practices by the end of the month. God willing.

Former Arkansas governor and failed congressional candidate William Jefferson "Bill" Clinton was hospitalized in New York City — where he was presumably visiting for vacation — just a little while ago…

Bill Clinton was rushed to a Manhattan hospital late this afternoon, sources tell ABC News.

Clinton, 63, was transported to Columbia Presbyterian Hospital in Manhattan for a condition related to his heart.

Our thoughts and prayers are with the Governor's wife and children, as well as the good people of Arkansas, in this difficult time.

Update: I have just become aware that the former governor — an amateur jazz saxophonist– has "had two stents inserted Thursday to prop open a clogged heart artery," is in good spirits and is expected to be able to go back to playing his reed instrument of choice in no time.