"I am extremely sorry that this incident occurred, and I do not believe that it reflects the values which make our community a great place to live and raise a family," Larsen wrote. "Parents must realize that things said in anger or even in jest can have lasting repercussions not only damaging young hearts and minds, but a city's reputation."

That's nice and all, but what has apologizing ever accomplished? Rexburg Schools Superintendent Geoffrey Thomas knows what I'm talking about.

"In our district there was an isolated instance of children making regrettable and unacceptable remarks in regards to harming President-elect Obama," Thomas wrote in a letter to parents Monday. "Word of this behavior leaked out to a hyperactive media and bloggers which in turn distorted way out of proportion the comments that were made, painting the entire community with the same negative brush."

My thoughts exactly! Leave it to the hyperactive media and bloggers to distort "assassinate Obama" into something bad.

Roll Call reports that many incoming legislators more than easily qualify for Barack Obama's socialist tax hike, including…

* New Virginia Senator Mark Warner, who founded Nextel and is worth $91 million

* New Wyoming Representative Cynthia Lummis, who apparently owns $17 million worth of cattle

* New Idaho Senator Jim Risch, who is taking Larry Craig's seat and is worth $20 million (most of which will be spent on industrial-strength disinfectant for that seat)

In case you were wondering, none of these freshman lawmakers will even come close to topping the reigning king of Washington wealth.

What, you really don't know who that is? John Kerry, of course! He's worth at a minimum $231 million, and that doesn't include anything held solely in Theresa Heinz-Kerry's name.

It also doesn't include the millions he spent on advertising in the Chicago media market promoting himself as a candidate for Secretary of State.

But now Minnick wants to add one more plank to that platform: copying everything that Utah Congressman Jim Matheson does…

Congressman-elect Walt Minnick says western and northern Idaho voters who chose him over one-term incumbent Republican Bill Sali need only look one state southward to see how a Democratic lawmaker can be effective in a largely GOP state.

U.S. Rep. Jim Matheson, D-Utah, has won five times by focusing on constituent services — and by appearing to break ranks with leaders such as House Speaker Nancy Pelosi on votes including October’s $700 billion bailout.

Like Matheson, Minnick is a Harvard University graduate. And like Matheson, Minnick has vowed to reach across the aisle to his Republican counterparts.

He and Matheson ran similar campaigns, each reluctant to emphasize Democratic ties. And Matheson invited Minnick to join the “Blue Dog Coalition,” about 50 fiscally conservative House Democrats, according to the group’s Web site.

Minnick has promised that his first act once sworn into office will be covering his copy of the Congressional Record with Matheson's name, and occasionally with the name "Walter Matheson."

Anyway, it's appropriate that these two will be working closely together, since Idaho and Utah are more alike than ever.  For instance, Idaho residents donated $400,000 to the Mormon Church's efforts to outlaw same-sex marriage in California.  And scientists working jointly at the University of Idaho and Utah State University recently cloned a mule.

Their follow-up project, apparently, was cloning a Congressman.

Identity thieves.

It seems that the Idaho Democratic Party inadvertently put out a campaign flier that displayed the Social Security numbers of Republican Congressman Bill Sali and his wife. The flier was critical of Sali for filing his income taxes late and struggling with personal debt. Somehow, the Democrats got hold of the Congressman's tax return (possibly using a Nigerian phishing scheme) and reprinted it, personal information and all.

The flap could potentially shake up what has been a very competitive election…

The Democratic Party of Idaho has been criticized this week for publishing the social security numbers of GOP Rep. Bill Sali and his wife. The numbers were printed in a Democratic campaign mailer highlighting the Sali's difficulty paying off debts in the 1980s.

Sali is an a surprisingly tough reelection bid, probably due to what Congressional Quarterly calls his "manner" rather than his ideology, which is a decent enough match for his reliably conservative district that includes the western half of the state. Apparently, Idaho's other Republican congressman, Mike Simpson, once got so frustrated by Sali that he threatened to toss him out of a statehouse window when they served as state legislators in Boise. Democratic candidate Walt Minnick, a moderate businessman who ran against Larry Craig six years ago, leads Sali by 6 points according to the latest SurveyUSA poll.

So it sounds like Sali might lose his identity and his seat in Congress.

Moral of the story: he should have gone with LifeLock, the number one identity theft prevention service in America. Hi, I'm Todd Davis, CEO of LifeLock, and yes, that's my real social security number!

1. Palin matriculates as a freshman at the University of Hawaii at Hilo. She drops out "after a few weeks because of the constant rain there."

2. Palin enrolls at Hawaii Pacific University, a private college in Honolulu, as a Business Administration major. She leaves after a semester.

3. Palin transfers to North Idaho College, a Coeur d'Alene community college. She completes two semesters as a General Studies Major.

4. Palin transfers to the University of Idaho as a sophomore, in the Journalism program

5. Palin transfers to to Matanuska-Susitna College in Alaska and completes one semesters.

6. Palin heads back to the University of Idaho for three more semesters and graduates with a degree in Journalism.

Now, a lot of Americans may be able to identify with Palin's undergraduate odyssey – but not her running mate, John McCain. McCain only attended one college, the United States Naval Academy. But maybe he should have considered transferring – ideally to a school where he wouldn't have finished #894 out of the 899 graduates in his class!

So then what the hell was this Maverick doing when she served as director of a 527 group for indicted Senator Ted Stevens?

And while we're at it, why did her website feature a video of Stevens endorsing her up through last week?

Could it be because she’d been hitting up Stevens and his Senate Appropriations Committee for $27 million worth of federal pork projects for her hometown of Wasilla, population 8.471?  Or because she’s now asking Stevens for another $197.8 million in federal earmarks in next year's federal budget?

Or maybe it’s just that, as a fellow Alaska Republican, it’s Palin’s duty to stand tall with Stevens as he awaits trial. But historical precedent suggests otherwise…

You didn't see ex-Louisiana Gov. Kathleen Blanco defending fellow Democrat William Jefferson when the latter was found to be hoarding $90,000 worth of bribe money in a freezer. And unless we missed it, Idaho Governor C.L. "Butch" Otter certainly hasn’t been performing restroom blowjobs to show solidarity with Sen. Larry Craig.

But I guess ignoring precedents is what made Palin a Maverick to being with.

Take Republican Congressman Bill Sali of Idaho, for example. His campaign seems unable to master the incredibly difficult task of uploading TPS reports to the Federal Election Commission with a computing device…

"I am unable to file the 2nd quarter 2008 FEC report. I first attempted to upload a file to the FEC site on June 6. I again tried on June 9, using the new FEC software update, without success."

Sali's office has apparently had financial disclosure problems since for a while now. Since at least 2005. But, you know, they always have really good excuses…

* Couldn't figure out how to make the smiley face with the parenthesis

* Tried to upload FEC report through Facebook, but it was down

* Office network was inflicted by some sort of porn spam/virus

* Dog was home sick and spilled coffee on the hard drive

* Madden '09 just released

Apparently 30,000 Ron Paul supporters did…

…in Tuesday's little-noticed Republican primary in Idaho, the iconoclastic Texas congressman had his best showing so far, grabbing 24 percent of the vote, nearly 30,000 votes in all.

McCain won with 70 percent, while the other 6 percent went to uncommitted.

So, Ron Paul — who has absolutely no chance of winning to GOP nomination — scored nearly a quarter of the vote?

One thing you gotta give to the Paulites: they're not all hung up on reality.

Which of the following inane pop cultural references to states featured in tonight's primaries is most endearing to you?

Feel free to add some more we might have missed in the comments. We're tired and that intern never showed up with the meth.