I gotta say, impeached Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich has a pretty ingenious plan for pressing state politicians into getting his corruption case dropped.

He appears to be blackmailing them by associating them to the most disliked person in Illinois politics: himself…

"Play all the tapes," Mr. Blagojevich told reporters after a hearing…

That prospect, political analysts here said, was likely to cause queasiness for Illinois politicians, some of whom are thought to be heard on those audio recordings and might have hoped their comments would never become public. In a year when the state is electing a new governor and a United States senator, such an open airing of hundreds of hours of tapes — even for those who did nothing criminal — might be especially awkward…

Any association with Mr. Blagojevich could cast a candidate as part of the "corrupt Democratic machine," said Kent Redfield, a political scientist at the University of Illinois at Springfield.

Check and mate. Circle gets the square. Case closed. You're out of order! This whole trial is out of order! E.T. go home!

What do wolf-fights, gay babies and marijuana have in common? I mean apart from my honeymoon. That's right, they were all topics discussed last night in Stephen Colbert's Better Know a District interview with Illinois Congressman Mike Quigley. First up, Stephen learns a little bit about Illinois's fightin' 5th.

Stephen's interview with the Congressman can be found below.

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

Read more »

If you don't live in the Prairie State, then you're probably not aware that today is its primary election day. (If you do live in the Prairie State, then you've probably been paid to "not be aware" that today is its primary election day.)

Anyway, we can't possibly know who has won amongst the Dems and Republicans for both Senate and Governor races (because the money votes have not been counted yet), but please take comfort in the knowledge that Illinois has proudly not yet learned a fucking thing…

State Treasurer Alexi Giannoulias remains the frontrunner going into the vote [for Democratic senatorial nominee], but his margin has narrowed significantly. Although he’s just 33, a friend of Obama, and the only elected official in the race, Giannoulias faces questions about possible shady doings at a bank run by his family.

Doing much of that questioning is formidable opponent David Hoffman. A former federal prosecutor and Chicago inspector general, Hoffman has based his campaign on his corruption-busting appeal. Also running hard at Giannoulias is Chicago Urban League President Cheryle Jackson, who last week actually urged the frontrunner to drop out of the race. More or less accusing Giannoulias of being a loan shark, Jackson argued that his family’s bank's issues made him unelectable: "For the sake of Illinois families and for the good of the Democratic Party, I am calling on the treasurer to do the honorable thing and withdraw from this race today," she said.

Good for you, Illinois! Make sure to elect the least-clean, most-connected Democrat directly after the Blagojevich/Burris scandal and in the middle of the biggest liberal purge of the past 20 years.

You remain a shimmering beacon of smartitude for the entire country.

The Unblinking Eye of the GOP seems to have shifted its gaze from the Bay State to the Prairie State, where it senses an even greater weakness…

"Illinois is next," said Pat Brady, chairman of the state Republican Party. "The political environment is worse here for Democrats than it was in Massachusetts."

Which would matter if voters were allowed to decide elections in Illinois. Unfortunately for Republicans, they are not. That state, I believe, uses the Electoral Brothel system.

Representative Mark Steven Kirk, the front-runner in [next Tuesday's] Republican primary for the Senate seat once held by President Obama, has even taken to echoing Mr. Brown's campaign remarks.

"No one should make the mistake by calling this the Obama seat," he said in an interview. "This is the seat of the people of Illinois."

That's right! It's the people's seat! And it's fucking golden! And, uh, uh, the State of Illinois is not just not giving it up for fuckin' nothing.

Thank God the great state of Illinois finally has a politician who's not afraid to blow the whistle on a fellow party member who might maybe be gay according to something somebody or other said one time…

Andy Martin, a noted conservative dirty trickster, put out a spot on local radio in which he pushes a "solid rumor" that fellow Senatorial aspirant, Rep. Mark Kirk (R-Ill.), "is a homosexual."

"I helped expose many of Barack Obama's lies in 2008," the ad goes. "Today, I am fighting for the facts about Mark Kirk. Illinois Republican leader Jack Roeser says there is a 'solid rumor that Kirk is a homosexual.' Roeser suggests that Kirk is part of a Republican Party homosexual club. Lake County Illinois Republican leader Ray True says Kirk has surrounded himself with homosexuals. Mark Kirk should tell Republican voters the truth."

First of all, OMG! A maybe gay?! Seriously? A maybe gay thinks he has the right to run for public office? As if he were a real person! This just makes me sick. These maybe gays and their maybe gay agendas! Yuck!

Second of all, it's nice to get confirmation on that Republican Party homosexual club thing. I mean, we all kind of suspected, right?

This quiz from mental_floss really goes a long way to illustrate how well-drawn and lifelike all the characters from The Sopranos really were.

And how poorly-drawn and silly politicians from Illinois have shown themselves to be. I think their show would get canceled after half a season.