"This has — being a constitutional and political science student, I mean, this is Political Science 101 or Political Science, maybe, 1000. The panel's just been terrific.

"And I have so many thoughts just rolling through my head, I don't even know where to start.

"I mean, this is — this is the meat that caused us political scientists to even exist, because you're dealing with these major issues of the separation of powers and the creation of this country and whether or not you want your president to really have the powers that you granted it, and whether or not the Congress, which is on similar or equal footing, can then control or muscle in on those powers of the president."

Can't argue with that. (Go ahead, try. It's impossible.)

And, you know what? That's gonna look frickin' sweet engraved onto his monument to himself.

(via BuzzFeed)

Except, don't join that club! Because it turns out that the fact that the Olympics aren't going to be held in Chicago means that Barack Obama has lost his re-election bid in 2012 and also that the world has decided to impeach him from the world…

Give up, everybody else on the Internet. You will never beat Matt Drudge.

Here's the full story…

Part 1

Parts 2 and 3 after the jump.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

Part 2

Part 3

I've got just what you need…

Just print out copies for all 29 or 30 of your friends, turn up the volume fall into a world full of Blagojevich.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

Guess which day today is.

Yep, Rod Blagojevich — the Guinness World Record holder for politician most unanimously ejected from office* — will be sitting down to discuss… well, who the hell knows what, with Jon Stewart on Thursday night.

Will this be the greatest moment in Daily Show history? I don't wanna sound hyperbolic, so I'm just gonna say yes!

It's hard to believe it's been less than a year since this guy hit the national stage. Remember way back in early December of '08, when we all actually used to stumble over how to pronounce that guy's name? (I mean, seriously, "Rod"?) Ah, such innocence.

Let's take a quick bus ride down Memory Boulevard with the first ever time that name stumbled from Jon Stewart's lips…

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

.

^{* This might maybe not be true.}

* Show your support for a true American hero in 2012! (Or else!) [via Tosh.0]

* Wanna be Barack Obama's Chicago neighbor? (But, be warned, the price is literally unimaginable.)

* GOP aims to overthrow White House czars in glorious House revolution (hopefully by October).

* Now you can watch the president call Kanye West a jackass! God bless us, everyone!

Well, put on your sleeping cap and your sleeping cuff links, because mystery solved!

Firas Alkhateeb, a senior history major at the University of Illinois, crafted the picture of Obama with the recognizable clown makeup using Adobe's Photoshop software…

Using a tutorial he'd found online about how to "Jokerize" portraits, he downloaded the October 23 Time Magazine cover of Obama and began digitally painting over it.

Firas Alkhateeb? I don't know, man. That's kind of a terroristy-sounding name. I'm not sure how I feel about the creator of the defining image of the conservative movement having a name that sounds like his family originally came from some other country.

Well, at least we know he hates socialism. So, he can't be all bad. ('Cause all those Middle Eastern countries are socialist, right? "Socialism" means "evil," doesn't it?)

[A] still-anonymous rogue famously found his image, digitally removed the references to Time Magazine, captioned the picture with the word "socialism" and hung printed copies around L.A., making headlines.

"It really doesn't make any sense to me at all," he said. "To accuse him of being a socialist is really… immature. First of all, who said being a socialist is evil?"

Aw, man. This guy is certainly no Joe the Plumber, I'll tell you that.

But, at the very least. We know that he likes mocking the president, so he's gotta be a good conservative. (Maybe we can salvage something here.)

"I think he's definitely doing better than Bush was," Alkhateeb said of Obama. Alkhateeb's views on foreign relations align with the Democrats, he said, while he prefers Republican ideals on domestic issues…

Alkhateeb's assessment of Obama: "In terms of domestic policy, I don't think he's really doing much good for the country right now," he said. "We don't have to 'hero worship' the guy."

If he had to choose a politician to support, Alkhateeb said, it would be Ohio Democratic Rep. Dennis Kucinich.

Ah, fuck this. Let's check out Fox News. Maybe Glenn Beck is crying again.

Well, somebody just invented a a machine that videotapes dreams and they put yours up on YouTube…

When I woke up this morning, I had no idea I was gonna see something like that before lunchtime. What a world.

(via TresSugar)