Read our LiveBlog of this morning's Inauguration Ceremony.

5:11 – I think that's all we really need to say about the parade. That's actually much more than I thought could be said about the parade.

4:56 – NBC just informed us that many inaugurations in the past have had snow, but this one doesn't. Maybe, they said, because of Global Warming.

Aren't they supposed to have smart people covering these things?

4:55 - Old friend Michael Kraskin just sent me this, and I thought it was worth sharing: "7 Negative Comments on Inauguration Day."

4:52 – Update on Ted Kennedy from NBC. Apparently, he's doing well — "His Irish is up" — but he'll be in the hospital at least for tonight.

4:38 – Wow. The Obamas are in their new house. That's very exciting for some reason.

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12:40 – Well, that's the ceremony. Now, there is just the parade to be endured.

12:39 – Damn! I was hoping for sea shantiers!

12:38 – Sea chanters?!

12:36 – From the comments: "Bush to Obama after speech: 'Hey, did you understand anything that guy up there just talked about?'" – JC

12:34 - At the rate he's reading, we all might die mid-prayer. – Matthew Tobey

12:33 – I hope this guy doesn't die mid-prayer.

12:32 – Another reverend? Where's the imam? where's the rabbi? Where's the witchdoctor? I feel left out.

12:31 – This po – em su – cks.

12:30 – What about the separation of poetry and state? – Mary Phillips-Sandy

12:28 – I think I rejected this poem back when I was editing my old online lit-zine.

12:27 - This – lady – enunci – ates – clear – ly. – Mary Phillips-Sandy

12:26 - Well, that was a pretty nice speech. It's really weird to be aware of yourself watching history unfold. It feels a little like huffing spray paint.

12:25 - Doris Kearns Goodwin just got the vapors. – Karen Lurie

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Barack and Michelle Obama just finished speaking at Coolidge Senior High School in DC where a bunch of people were presuambly invited for a lunch to repay them for some sort of public service — I hope they aren't any of those fucking community organizers there! — as part of today's national community service appreciation day.

And now he's going through the pretty huge room and shaking hands with every single person in attendance.

He's a better man than me. If I have to talk to more than six people on any given day, I start getting antsy. (I don't want them stealing my bodily energies.)

4:29 – If you missed this spectacular event, you can catch it at later at 7 and 11:30 for free on HBO.

4:27 – Well, that wasn't the shittiest thing I ever watched. I've also seen the Emmys.

4:25 – This makes me really proud to be an American… who wasn't talked into going and standing in the cold for this nonsense.

4:22 – Who's this now? Mary J. Blige?

4:21 – I'm sorry, but this song reminds me more of being trapped with a bunch of people I hate on camping trips I was forced into than it does about American freedom.

4:20 – Pete Seeger isn't just doing a gesture when he puts his hands to his ear. he really can't hear shit. – GC

4:19 – I wonder if George Lucas is really in the audience, or if he had himself digitally implanted.

4:17 – Bruce Springsteen is back. And he's with some old man. They're singing a song they taught me in kindergarten.

4:16 – Barack Obama sounds inspiring and all, but I keep getting scared that Garth Brooks is gonna come out and do a duet with him.

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Over the weekend, the unthinkable has occurred. A military coup!

Some guy — after having cleverly disguised as the president-elect by hanging a sign bearing the legend "Pres.-Elect Obama" — managed to sneak in under the wire and become the first black person sworn-in as president more than a week before Barack Obama was scheduled to be sworn-in for real…

Someone who looked a little bit like Barack Obama was sworn in as the nation's 44th president at the United States Capitol. The tall black male delivered a brief inaugural address and then headlined an inaugural parade that ended at his new home, the White House.

In fact, it was not really Barack Obama. It was only a stand-in — Staff Sgt. Derrick Brooks of the Army — who played the incoming president in an inaugural rehearsal that took over large areas around the Capitol and the White House for a few hours. The spectacle felt both momentous and kind of weird.

Still, from a distance, it had the look and feel of the real thing: amplified speeches and announcements could be heard several blocks away, honor guards and color guards and processions of dignitaries (or stand-ins thereof) assembled along the western end of the Capitol. The (actual) Marine Band showed up to play "Hail to the Chief" to honor the (fake) new president.

Our new President Staff Sgt. Derrick Brooks did skimp on a single detail. He even got Naval Petty Officer First Class LaSean McCray to pose as Michelle Obama and two young ladies to to counterfeit themselves as Sasha and Malia.

I imagine that a lot of people are gonna be disappointed at this gross miscarriage of democracy. I, however am just glad it's a black guy. It's about time.

The real question that I think should be on Americans minds right now is: What kind of dog do you think our new dictator Brooks will get for his fake children?