That's why the brand new president is heading right back out onto the campaign trail, to campiagn for, well, the stimulus package, I guess (whatever — just so long as it gives him a change to recapture that Hopey feeling)…

Campaigning for action in the most dire terms, President Barack Obama said Monday that if Congress does not quickly pass an economic stimulus package, the nation will slip into a crisis so deep that "we may be unable to reverse" it.

"We can't afford to wait. We can't wait to see and hope for the best," Obama said in Elkhart, Ind., a community reeling in job losses during the recession that has defined Obama's young presidency. "We can't posture and bicker and resort to the same failed ideas that got us in into this mess in the first place."…

"You know, look, it's not perfect," the president conceded. "But it is the right size, it is the right scope. Broadly speaking, it has the right priorities to create jobs that will jump-start our economy and transform the economy for the 21st century."

It is fully believed that every one of the zero congresspeople in attendance will now be motivated to vote for the bill.

And he's expected to gather up twice as many votes when he speaks in Florida tomorrow.

Anyway, Edwards didn't leave his audience in suspense. He cut straight to the chase, telling everyone exactly what they'd gone there to hear…

Former Sen. John Edwards said Sen. John McCain had a weight around his neck in the final days of the presidential campaign.

That weight, he said, was President Bush.

Interesting thing about John McCain: he pals around with this pretty younger woman. Blonde. Weird, that almost sounds like something familiar.

Edwards also said the election outcomes showed that the American people are ready for something new in politics.

“The result of last Tuesday was not an accident,” he said. He later added, “Americans want change, and they wanted something different.”

I don't have a specific example right now, but for instance, I know a lot of people are tired of that political trope in which a politician does something sleazy and covers it up.

One of Edwards’ strongest messages was the need for America to be a world leader again. He sharply criticized the Bush foreign policy of the last eight years.

“America cannot bully its way to making the world a safer place,” he said.

Edwards said Obama will make the United States respected once again on foreign shores.

Good point. The world has lost a lot of respect for America because of all the stupid, duplicitious things we've done, and that's going to hinder our ability to help those in need.

I swear this reminds me of something. I just can't think what.

Sorry for obsessing over Indiana here, but it's the best information we have to work with so far. And it's a major battleground, where Obama and McCain have been deadlocked for weeks.

And the spot to watch in Indiana is Marion County, which is basically the city of Indianapolis. Marion went very narrowly for John Kerry in 2004, but broke for George W. Bush in 2000. If Obama wants to win the Hoosier State, he needs to win there.

And the polls have started coming in from Marion County. With 2% of precincts reporting, the candidates are …

Exactly tied. 2623 to 2623. Think we're in for a long night?

And also with really awesome graphics. I strongly encourage you to close whatever other browser windows you have open (with the obvious exception of Indecision2008.com) and focus on the New York Times website.

They not only provide state-by-state results in visual format, they allow you to zoom in on any state and see exactly which precincts have reported their election results.

For example, right now in Indiana, eight counties have voted and you can zoom in to see them. If you know your geography, you can tell that they don't include the big urban areas of Gary and Indianapolis, and that therefore Obama's numbers may not be as high as they will be later on. (For the record, he's neck-and-neck with McCain despite that.)

Presumably Mellencamp has thousands of relatives scattered in other parts of the state.  If there's any other explanation, McCain should probably deliver his concession speech now and make a beeline for the Early Bird Special.

"My fellow Americans, I am currently very strong and very, very real," Sen. Obama told a cheering crowd of 12,000 at the Indiana State Fairgrounds. "Even here in Hoosier country, a traditional Republican stronghold, your faith has kept me from growing faint, becoming transparent, and slowly fading from view."

"But please, don't stop now," Obama added. "Unless you continue to believe in me, I'll completely disappear. You have to keep me in your thoughts at all times!"

Deputy campaign manager Steve Hilde- brand, who has been tasked with making sure volunteers are chanting Obama's name with their hands clasped and their eyes shut tight, said that the candidate has nearly faded out at several points during the long campaign.

Early in the primaries, when Hillary Clinton was up in the polls, Obama's typically solid composition began to waver and his voice became a distant echo. Currently the Democratic nominee is a blurred and vague outline in the state of West Virginia, where he trails McCain by almost 12 points.

Let it be on your head, America, if Barack Obama should fade into "a gentle wind, rustling through the trees — a ghostly visitor soon departed."

The choice is yours.

Check out more Swing State Seminars here!

Indiana's Key Players

* Former Vice President Dan Quayle: While Hillary Clinton and Geraldine Ferraro broke the women's glass ceiling for Sarah Palin, Quayle broke the equally important one for unqualified idiots.

* Rocker John Mellencamp, who has suspended his normal pro-Democratic campaigning in order to strum some classic tunes at John Edwards' child support hearing.

* Senator Evan Bayh: When it comes to the vice presidency, he's been bypassed more times than Dick's Cheney's heart.

Obama's Constituency

* Faculty at Purdue and Notre Dame who outed themselves as radical Marxists by becoming professors.

* Crossover Republicans profiled in a New York Times article that won the Pulitzer Prize for Imaginary Journalism.

* Gary.

McCain's Constituency

* People who willingly choose to identify as "Hoosiers."

* Indianans who proudly fly the Confederate flag despite the fact that their state is in the North and fought for the Union in the Civil War.

* Folks who prefer their basketball players lanky, clad in knee-high socks, and snow white.

Predicted Winner: McCain
Indiana is considered emblematic of America, as it incorporates the worst of its surrounding states: The economic hardship of Michigan, the crime of urban Illinois, the intellectual vacuum of Ohio, and the moonshine-swilling backwardness of Kentucky. Therefore, it has no choice but to vote for the Pro-America ticket.

Check out more Swing State Profiles here!

North Dakota.

That's right: North Dakota. That state with lots of snow, lots of sugar beets, and lots of reliably Republican voters. Well, not lots of Republicans per se, but certainly many more than there are Democrats. And Obama has a 45% to 43% lead in the latest poll.

North Dakota had actually once been considered "in play" by the Obama campaign, but they threw in the towel last month. Well, it turns out that they might not even need to actively work for the state's three electoral votes – which, for reference, last went for a Democrat in 1964. This is a state that voted for George W. Bush in 2004 by 63% to 36%.

Another interesting twist on the North Dakota story is that it is the only state that has no voter registration whatsoever. That means that pretty much anyone can show up and vote without any paperwork. But the folks down at ACORN shouldn't get too excited. The precinct election judge is likely to be Norman the school bus driver or Betty from the dry goods store, and they'll be able to spot an outsider from a mile away.

You read that right. Obama is in the lead in Indiana, according to polling completed yesterday by the Indianapolis Star.

That's Indiana, as is the state that hasn't voted for a Democrat for president in 44 years. Indiana, which voted 60% to 39% for George Bush over John Kerry in 2004. Indiana, whose record on race relations prominently features murdering African-American encyclopedia salesgirls with screwdrivers.

Now, Indiana rarely makes the Washington media elite's short lists of swing states, losing out to flashier states like Florida and New Mexico. However, with this kind of surprise polling Indiana should be at the top of those lists, and its 11 electoral votes to be considered fully up for grabs.

Well, I guess the truth is that the New York Times was reporting on the trend of Indiana Republicans going for Obama way back in March.

But that got swept up under the rug pretty quickly in favor of more flashy swing states… Ohio! Nevada! Colorado!