Guess what! Michael Steele's efforts to recruit more minority leaders into the Republican party are starting to bear fruit. And all it took was a couple dudes giving each other rings…

The president of the Iowa-Nebraska chapter of the NAACP has endorsed anti-gay Republican gubernatorial hopeful Bob Vander Plaats…

"I know that Bob Vander Plaats is not afraid to stand up for what is right," Rev. Keith A. Ratliff Sr. said. "That takes courage."

"He's talked about the importance of defending the institution of marriage… That takes backbone and determination. That's what I want in my governor — and that's why I'm standing here today to show my support for him," he added.

Now, after a century of tireless effort, it sure is heartening to see a leader of the NAACP — which, according to its website, has a long and proud history as "a champion of social justice" — taking such a bold stand in favor of the oppressed majority, forging a stronger status quo, and fighting back against the tyranny of the downtrodden.

And it's kinda sweet to see this brave leader and one of his organization's old rivals finally seeing eye-to-eye on some things.

See also: The Daily Show on the Radical Gay Rights March

Gay marriage: is it really about gay people getting married? That's what they (the gays) want you to believe, but there's more here than meets the eye. Gay marriage, which masquerades as "gay marriage," is in fact a stealthy step toward another, more terrible destination.

No, not Elton John-themed honeymoon cruises. More terrible. Yes: SOCIALISM.

It's true, says Rep. Steve King…

King told a conservative news radio program: "If there's a push for a socialist society where the foundations of individual rights and liberties are undermined and everybody is thrown together living collectively off one pot of resources earned by everyone, this is one of the goals they have to go to, same sex marriage, because it has to plow through marriage in order to get to their goal. They want public affirmation, they want access to public funds and resources."

Think about it. It's like how dentistry is just a few steps away from facism*. Rep. King is just the guy to sound this important alarm, because he is from the gay-marrying state of Iowa, so he knows whereof he speaks…

"I said that if this is allowed to happen, Iowa would become the Mecca for same sex marriage, and that has begun to happen," King said.

Oh my God, it's even worse than I thought! After everyone gets forced into gay marriages, we'll be forcibly converted to Islam, and then the Socialist takeover happens.

And then, I guess, we'll just give up and start praying for God Allah to put us out of our misery.

^{* Dentists are licensed by "state boards." Need I say more?}

As I'm sure you can imagine, since Iowa's supreme court ruled against the sanctity of opposite marriage and in favor of letting gay dudes put on tuxedos and pledge fidelity to one another back in April, things have gotten completely fucking out of hand in The Hawkeye State.

That place has really turned into a regular Sodom and/or Gomorrah. And practically no one has been spared the unimaginable pain of this fiasco.

Except for these very few people..

The overwhelming majority of Iowans — 92 percent — say gay marriage has brought no real change to their lives.

Okay, well, this new poll from The Des Moines Register isn't telling the whole story. Like, how about the other eight percent of Iowans? What about all the trauma they're going through?

Have you noticed positive or negative changes in your life, if any, since marriage for gay and lesbian couples was allowed last spring?

Mostly positive: 3%
Mostly negative: 4%
No real change: 92%
Not sure: 1%

Okay, well what about that 4 percent? That's 1/25th of the state. And that's… not… nothing.

The poll has a possible margin of error of plus or minus 3.5 percentage points.

Alright, alright, alright. Let's just say that there are at least 27 or 28 people who are having a very difficult time with this gay marriage thing.

And gay dudes trying to adjust to married life can't  make up much more than half of that number.

Update: Oh yeah, I forgot to mention. You know how miniscule 4 percent of Iowans claim to be feeling negative pangs since gay marriage has been instated? Well, can you guess what percent are planning to vote against it?

Yep, 41 percent.

Human beings sure are the best, aren't they?

Chuck Grassley, the good Senator from Iowa who just wants to avoid misrepresentations and confusion about health care reform, hosted a town hall meeting of his own yesterday. And a record number of Iowans turned out to enjoy the democratic process…

Grassley said the attendance at the town hall meetings has been six times what it was last year.

"It's great that so many people are getting involved and want to participate in these meetings," he said. "I want to hear what people have to say, and encourage every Iowan to participate in the democratic process by having dialogue with their elected representatives."

That's your cue, Angry Guy in the Back!

"The president of the United States, that's who you should be concerned about. Because he's acting like a little Hitler," said Tom Eisenhower, a World War II veteran. "I'd take a gun to Washington if enough of you would go with me."

Uh-huh. Actually, I'm concerned about people like Tom Eisenhower, people who can't even get their basic facts straight.

I mean, come on. If you can't see that Barack Obama is acting like a much taller Hitler, I don't know how you expect me to take you seriously.

Beloved Twitterer Sen. Chuck Grassley, Republican from Iowa, was back in his home state yesterday to reassure folks about Obamacare and the many ways in which it will put us, and freedom, to death. Go ahead, Senator, no need to limit yourself to 140 characters…

Grassley quickly returned to the popular myth he discussed earlier in the day during a similar town hall meeting in Winterset — that a Democratic health care bill will allow the federal government the power to "pull the plug on grandma."

Despite the fact that the idea has been thoroughly debunked by political analysts, policy experts, and even a Republican senator, Grassley maintained that the current proposals moving through Congress leave the door open to government-mandated euthanasia.

Why can't these "debunkers" see the truth? And who are you going to believe, a Republican senator or Chuck Grassley?

The proposal to which Grassley referred would merely require Medicare to pay for end-of-life counseling sessions for anyone who would like it. It would also be completely voluntary. In Iowa, a similar law is already on the books, and Grassley’s grandson, state Rep. Pat Grassley (R-New Hartford), voted for it in 2008.

Yes, it will be a tragic day for America when Chuck Grassley is forced before an Iowa death panel, by his own grandson.

On the other hand, at least he'll be able to say "I told you so."

Dylan Ris attempts to decipher the "disparate jumble of letters on Twitter" that might lead one to conclude that Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-IA) is opposed to President Obama's plan to reform health care…

Well the senator has weighed in with a response via his favorite medium — Twitter — and the answer is a resounding "no."  At least we think so.  Which is to say, if you can make sense of this post, please let us know…

Misinformatio accuses me of supportin ObamaCare NOT TRUE I M at table making sure Govt takeovr doesn't happen,protect patience,and taxpayers

Although nearly 50% of the words in Grassley's "tweet" were technically English, it's still hard to make sense of it all.

I hate to disagree with my friend Dylan over there, but I don't think that Grassley was writing about health care at all. If I'm not mistaken, he's quoting an incantation from the original printing of Abdul Alhazred's forbidden tome, The Necronomicon.

From what I understand, he's very conservative when it comes to observation of The Ancient Ones.

Update: It has come to my attention that both Dylan and I are wrong. Sen. Grassley is attempting to communicate with the Foodpeeple in their native language.