And The Karl Rove Award for Most Speedy and Shameless Use of a National Tragedy for Personal Political Gain goes to…

Lt. Col. Allen West (Ret), who is running for Congress in Florida's 22nd District, released a statement on Friday morning that heavily insinuated that Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan — the soldier responsible for the Fort Hood killings — was a Muslim extremist.

"This enemy preys on downtrodden soldiers and teaches them extremism will lift them up," West said, in a statement titled "Terrorists Are Infiltrating Military". "Our soldiers are being brainwashed."…

In releasing his statement, West appears to be the first politician to claim a link between Malik Hasan's shooting rampage and Islamic extremism or terrorism. Reports on the incident aren't 100 percent clear. But they generally suggest that Malik Hasan was acting out of intense stress over a pending deployment to Iraq. That said, authorities have not ruled out that Hasan was acting on the behest of an unidentified radical group. Hasan was a lifelong Muslim who worked at a psychiatric hospital in Bethesda, Maryland.

Please bear in mind that Col. West managed to win this award without the use of nearly any pertinent information or time for serious analysis.

Over the weekend, National Security Adviser James Jones said President Obama will repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell after he gets some other stuff off his desk. One has to assume among the biggest priorities on Obama's desk are the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, where we desperately need gay translators who were discharged under Don't Ask, Don't Tell. So, hopefully the wars will end soon, and the President will be able to repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell, so we can end the wars and repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell. It's sort of like that Joseph Heller book, Good as Gold.

Here are the best DADT-related clips from The Colbert Report.

The Word: Stonewalling

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I'm a dope young Republican teenage kid, man! And as much as I love rocking out to hardcore teabaggers like Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh on the hi-fi radio, every once in a while, I wanna headbang to some actual music. But there's only so many Lady Gaga-parody/conservative-ideology songs in existence

What's a dude to do?

Hey, wait a second? This, technically speaking, is music…

Dude! That is so hardcore! It's just like one of those social-protest punk songs from the '80s, like the stuff put out by The Minutemen, Black Flag and The Dead Kennedys, except not at all similar, and in fact I've never even heard of those bands.

Wow! The GOP really is reaching all youngsters like me, aren't they?

When your grandchildren ask you why there was a war in a place called Iraq you can just smile wisely, repeat the headline above and shoo them off to play with their My Little Hovercrafts.

Yes, it seems our ex-president had a very good reason for launching a secretive war that cost thousands of lives and billions of dollars: he was on a mission from God…

President George W. Bush told French President Jacques Chirac in early 2003 that Iraq must be invaded to thwart Gog and Magog, the Bible’s satanic agents of the Apocalypse.

Now out of office, Chirac recounts that the American leader appealed to their "common faith" (Christianity) and told him: "Gog and Magog are at work in the Middle East…. The biblical prophecies are being fulfilled…. This confrontation is willed by God, who wants to use this conflict to erase his people’s enemies before a New Age begins."

Weirdly enough, then-President Chirac didn't jump at this opportunity to put on the armor of God and get a-smiting. Instead he said something along the lines of "Let me get back to you on that, Monsieur Le Petit Arbre," and then he summoned his staff, who sat around scratching their heads (in French)…

Chirac says he was boggled by Bush’s call and "wondered how someone could be so superficial and fanatical in their beliefs."

A terrifying and bizarre episode, to be sure, but at least it confirms something I've suspected for a long time.

French people aren't just surrender monkeys. They're also blasphemer chimps.

(via the heathen Andrew Sullivan)

Submitted by flasunbum.