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At last, here's an Iraq-related issue with a very simple fix…

As of Sept. 1, Operation Iraqi Freedom becomes Operation New Dawn.

Defense Secretary Robert Gates said in a memo Wednesday that the name change — which is to immediately follow the scheduled withdrawal of U.S. combat troops from Iraq — will send a strong signal that American forces have a new mission.

Sure! Or, it'll remind Iraqis of the time Fallujah turned into a morass of rubble and refugees.

Either way, it's pretty catchy.

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Barack Obama would never in a million years have the stones to do such a thing. Point taken, President Palin, point taken.

(Via Getty Images, which notes that the autograph was signed "for 82nd Airborne's Sgt. David Vogelslang during the signing of her memoir 'Going Rogue' on the North Post Exchange." Makes a great bookmark, I guess.)

Yes, it seems our ex-president had a very good reason for launching a secretive war that cost thousands of lives and billions of dollars: he was on a mission from God…

President George W. Bush told French President Jacques Chirac in early 2003 that Iraq must be invaded to thwart Gog and Magog, the Bible’s satanic agents of the Apocalypse.

Now out of office, Chirac recounts that the American leader appealed to their "common faith" (Christianity) and told him: "Gog and Magog are at work in the Middle East…. The biblical prophecies are being fulfilled…. This confrontation is willed by God, who wants to use this conflict to erase his people’s enemies before a New Age begins."

Weirdly enough, then-President Chirac didn't jump at this opportunity to put on the armor of God and get a-smiting. Instead he said something along the lines of "Let me get back to you on that, Monsieur Le Petit Arbre," and then he summoned his staff, who sat around scratching their heads (in French)…

Chirac says he was boggled by Bush’s call and "wondered how someone could be so superficial and fanatical in their beliefs."

A terrifying and bizarre episode, to be sure, but at least it confirms something I've suspected for a long time.

French people aren't just surrender monkeys. They're also blasphemer chimps.

(via the heathen Andrew Sullivan)

Submitted by flasunbum.

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Well, guess what? Tomorrow, Tuesday, the 30th of June, is the deadline for American forces to leave Iraqi cities. And as if on cue, here comes burrower demon Dick Cheney to grunt mournfully in the general direction of Baghdad…

Former Vice President Dick Cheney on Monday said he is concerned about U.S. forces withdrawing from Iraqi cities within 24 hours. [...]

"I hope the Iraqis can deal with it," Mr. Cheney said. "At some point they have to stand on their own, but I would not want to see the U.S. waste all the tremendous sacrifice that has gotten us to this point."

You have to understand: it was really, really hard for Cheney to avoid giving body armor to the troops. He sacrificed entire nanoseconds on decisions like that. And now we're throwing it all away.

No wonder he's having whatever the burrower demon equivalent of sad feelings are.

Not sure what happened to Dick Cheney's tape. Must have gotten lost in the mail or shot to bits at close range with a shotgun.

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

^{* My apologies to the 5% of Americans for whom there is no joke in this post. Please don't shoot me.}

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

The Telegraph has a new piece on South Park and its creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker, and in it, they reveal a pretty fascinating and hilarious piece of information…

Stone, 37, said both he and Parker, 39, were most proud of the signed Saddam photo, given to them by the US Army's 4th Infantry Division.

He said: "We're very proud of our signed Saddam picture and what it means. It's one of our biggest highlights.

"I have it on pretty good information from the marines on detail in Iraq that they showed Saddam the movie.

"Over and over again -– which is a pretty funny thought.

"That's really adding insult to injury."

Amazing, right? Yes. And think about it: If one of the most notorious dictators of the modern era was being held captive by the US military, doesn't it seem to reason that he would be under constant video surveillance? We need to find the footage of Saddam watching South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut to see if he chuckled even just once. This is what the Freedom of Information Act is for, right?

Watch a clip of Saddam on South Park.

Except that they're not hampered by quite the same rules of etiquette…

In the past two months, the bodies of as many as 25 boys and men suspected of being gay have turned up in the huge Shiite enclave of Sadr City, the police and friends of the dead say. Most have been shot, some multiple times. Several have been found with the word "pervert" in Arabic on notes attached to their bodies, the police said…

The killers, the police say, are not just Shiite death squads, but also tribal and family members shamed by their gay relatives… Clerics in Sadr City have urged followers to help root out homosexuality in Iraqi society, and the police have begun their own crackdown on gay men.

I have to say, this stirring up of violence against gays seems more than a bit hypocritical on the parts of those clerics, considering how closely they've obviously modeled their style on that of Norma Desmond's…

You just know they've got an old VHS copy of Torch Song Trilogy hidden away somewhere in their apartments.

You just know it.

The Iraqi journalist who threw shoes at then-President George W. Bush was convicted Thursday of assaulting a foreign leader and sentenced to three years in prison, provoking outrage among some Iraqis who consider him a hero.

Muntadhar al-Zeidi's bold act in December electrified many across the Middle East who hailed his defiant act against a president who was widely reviled for his policies in the region, including the 2003 U.S.-led invasion of Iraq.

The 30-year-old journalist pleaded not guilty to the assault charge, telling the three-judge panel that "what I did was a natural response to the occupation."

Still, I can't get myself to feel too sorry for the guy. He's going to prison in Iraq, after all. Iraqi prison is like Disneyland on a beach.

I hear the food is made out of water slides.

The Center's "Broken Government" project, unveiled today, purports to catalog eight years of executive branch failures under George W. Bush. Want a taste? Grab your selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor and pull up a chair…

* 45 million Americans without health care

* 190,000 U.S.-supplied weapons missing in Iraq

* $100 billion in federal tax revenues lost annually to corporations using off-shore tax shelters

* 275 largest U.S. corporations pay, on average, about 17 percent in taxes in 2007, half the standard corporate tax rate

* $45 trillion in credit-default swaps, without federal oversight, in 2007

* 2,640 days Osama bin Laden at large since September 11, 2001 (as of December 10, 2008)

And, you know, this is just the kind of naysaying that certain NPR-listening, environment-enjoying, golden retriever-having types always do. Why couldn't we make a list of this administration's successes since 2000? For example:

* 2 funky dance routines

* 1 memorable reading of "The Pet Goat"

* 5 years since major combat operations in Iraq ended!

* 1,583 acres of brush cleared in Texas

See? That wasn't so hard. I could probably even think of a few more, if I weren't hiding under my desk, groping for the ulcer medication I can no longer afford.

From Sarah Palin's speech:

This [Obama] is a man who can give an entire speech about the wars America is fighting, and never use the word "victory" except when he's talking about his own campaign.

That one didn't seem like much of a challenge. From Obama's July 15th Speech on Iraq:

In fact, true success in Iraq — victory in Iraq — will not take place in a surrender ceremony where an enemy lays down their arms.

And later in the same speech:

I want Iraqis to take responsibility for their own future, and to reach the political accommodation necessary for long-term stability. That's victory.

I guess Palin can't use Google any better than McCain can.

Michelle Obama IS NOT going on Obama's trips to Afghanistan, Iraq, Israel, and Europe. Nor would she have a policy role in the Obama administration; she would be raising their daughters.

But SHE WILL have a primetime speaking role at the Democratic National Convention.

According to unnnamed sources, she will be discussing her favorite recipe for pound cake.

Thank God we have senators John McCain around to talk up when the Senate actually does something nice for our soldiers and veterans.

Not like that one Arizona senator who opposed that very GI Bill when it was being debated earlier this year.

What was his name?

(via Daily Kos)