Here's the film's synopsis from the website…

Heavy Metal in Baghdad is a feature film documentary that follows the Iraqi heavy metal band Acrassicauda from the fall of Saddam Hussein in 2003 to the present day. Playing heavy metal in a Muslim country has always been a difficult (if not impossible) proposition but after Saddam’s regime was toppled, there was a brief moment for the band in which real freedom seemed possible.

That hope was quickly dashed as their country fell into a bloody insurgency. From 2003-2006, Iraq disintegrated around them while Acrassicauda struggled to stay together and stay alive, always refusing to let their heavy metal dreams die.

Snooze! That story's been told a million times. As a matter of fact, I think that most of that synopsis was lifted from Dokken's wikipedia page.

This new weapon, though, should solve that. It's guaranteed to either save your soul or take your life. Or something…

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

Why do we fail to detect or defeat the guilty, and why do we do so well at collective punishment of the innocent? The answer to the first question is: Because we can't — or won't. The answer to the second question is: Because we can. The fault here is not just with our endlessly incompetent security services, who give the benefit of the doubt to people who should have been arrested long ago or at least had their visas and travel rights revoked. It is also with a public opinion that sheepishly bleats to be made to "feel safe." The demand to satisfy that sad illusion can be met with relative ease if you pay enough people to stand around and stare significantly at the citizens' toothpaste…

What nobody in authority thinks us grown-up enough to be told is this: We had better get used to being the civilians who are under a relentless and planned assault from the pledged supporters of a wicked theocratic ideology. These people will kill themselves to attack hotels, weddings, buses, subways, cinemas, and trains. They consider Jews, Christians, Hindus, women, homosexuals, and dissident Muslims (to give only the main instances) to be divinely mandated slaughter victims. Our civil aviation is only the most psychologically frightening symbol of a plethora of potential targets.

Anyone out there think the average American is grown-up enough to be told any of that?

Anyone?

Seems like just last week that he was giving a speech about how he's decided to escalate the war in Afghanistan by sending an additional 30,000 troops into that smoldering shell of a country. And now, he's delivering an acceptance speech for the Nobel Peace Prize…

President Obama, accepting the Nobel Peace Prize here on Thursday, acknowledged the age-old tensions between war and peace but argued that his recent decision to escalate the conflict in Afghanistan was justified to protect the world from terrorism and extremism.

"We must begin by acknowledging the hard truth," Mr. Obama said. "We will not eradicate violent conflict in our lifetimes. There will be times when nations — acting individually or in concert — will find the use of force not only necessary but morally justified."

Yes, and then there are countries like the ones like the U.S. and the U.K. which are trying to fight back against the Middle Eastern countries' moral war against the West, which I'm assuming he is referencing in the above paragraph.

This is clearly a case of the good guys vs. the bad guys.

"Ok, so, this is total crap, we sit the kids down to watch 'The Charlie Brown Christmas Special' and our muslim president is there, what a load…..try to convince me that wasn't done on purpose. Ask the man if he believes that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and he will give you a 10 minute disertation (sic) about it….w…hen the answer should simply be 'yes'…

"you obama people need to move to a muslim country…oh wait, that's America….pitiful."

And here's Wiseman responding to a journalist about about what he wrote…

"You guys are trying to make a mountain out of a molehill."

And here's Charlie Brown performing a dramatic representation of Wiseman navigation of the incident…

Very well put, Charlie Brown.

Swiss voters have approved a move to ban the construction of new minarets in the country.

Final results show that over 57 percent of voters backed the proposal in a referendum that was held today following an initiative by a right wing political party. Turnout was reported at about 55 percent…

The Swiss government had urged voters to reject the proposed ban on new minarets, saying it would violate religious freedom and human rights, as well as potentially provoking Islamist radicalism and harming Switzerland's image.

You see, if you can't build minarets, then you can't build a mosque that looks like a mosque. So, people don't know where to go to do Islamic stuff. So, they'll just wander around the city for a while until they get tired and decide to go home and be atheists.

And, as everybody knows, Muslims turn to terrorism because they feel safe and included by society. So, if you take away that safety and inclusion, you also take away their desire to turn to fundamentalism and violence. Because who ever heard of a lonely, disaffected person becoming convinced to commit a senseless act of violence?

There is absolutely no way that this well-thought-out scheme can possibly backfire.

A chief spokesman for the pro-life, far-right organization, American Family Association, has called for the purging of Muslim soldiers from military ranks in the wake of the tragic killings at Fort Hood.

Really? Really?! This comes as a huge shock to me, given how much these Christian right groups have time and time again shown how much respect they have for equality, civil liberties and Constitutional ideals.

But, hey hey hey hey! Don't walk away under the impression that the AFA or its Director of Issues Analysis Bryan Fischer thinks that every single Muslim (technical) citizen of the United States is just bursting at the chance to kill a real (white) American…

"Of course, most U.S. Muslims don't shoot up their fellow soldiers. Fine."

See? Totally open-minded.

"As soon as Muslims give us a foolproof way to identify their jihadis from their moderates, we'll go back to allowing them to serve."

Thanks, Christians! How Christ-like you are.

"You tell us who the ones are that we have to worry about, prove you're right, and Muslims can once again serve. Until that day comes, we simply cannot afford the risk. You invent a jihadi-detector that works every time it's used, and we'll welcome you back with open arms."

"This is not Islamophobia, it is Islamo-realism."

I can't even Islamo-bring myself to Islamo-give an Islamo-real response to Islamo-this.

It's just way too Christ-arded.

Yep, these footsoldiers in the war on terror have called for investigations into the Council on American Islamic Relations (CAIR), because it's got Muslims palling around with Americans and vice versa all the time, and in professional circles, that's known as spying…

[Reps. Sue Myrick of North Carolina, Trent Franks of Arizona, Paul Broun of Georgia and John Shadegg of Arizona] on Wednesday accused the nation's largest Muslim advocacy group of trying to "infiltrate" Capitol Hill by placing interns in the offices of lawmakers who handle national security issues.

Exactly as it's written in Muslim Mafia, the result of an "explosive" undercover investigation: the author's son grew a beard, got an internship with CAIR and stole a bunch of their paperwork. That's one intern spy right there! There must be more, and they must be up to something…

While the Republicans said they did not know of specific legislation that CAIR had affected, Franks, a Judiciary Committee member, said he wouldn’t be surprised if it was trying to amend the Patriot Act.

Oh no, that wouldn't be surprising at all.

The real shocker would be if it turns out interns are actually capable of affecting legislation.

No, not Elton John-themed honeymoon cruises. More terrible. Yes: SOCIALISM.

It's true, says Rep. Steve King…

King told a conservative news radio program: "If there's a push for a socialist society where the foundations of individual rights and liberties are undermined and everybody is thrown together living collectively off one pot of resources earned by everyone, this is one of the goals they have to go to, same sex marriage, because it has to plow through marriage in order to get to their goal. They want public affirmation, they want access to public funds and resources."

Think about it. It's like how dentistry is only a few steps away from facism*. Rep. King is just the man to sound this important alarm, because he is from the gay-marrying state of Iowa, so he knows whereof he speaks…

"I said that if this is allowed to happen, Iowa would become the Mecca for same sex marriage, and that has begun to happen," King said.

Oh God, it's even worse than I thought! After everyone gets forced into gay marriages, we'll be forcibly converted to Islam, and then the Socialist takeover will happen.

After that, I guess, we'll just give up and start praying for God Allah to put us out of our misery.

^{* Dentists are licensed by "state boards." Need I say more?}

President Barack Obama will host a dinner at the White House this evening celebrating Ramadan, the final month of the Muslim lunar calendar in which observants fast from dawn until sunset each day.

Obama, who is Christian, has attempted to recognize the contributions of all religions with personal gestures such as the dinners – he also traveled to Cairo in June to address the Muslim world with an appeal for understanding.

See that? Right there in black and boldface! It's all Muslim all the time with this guy, who is known to be probably a Muslim. I find this noteworthy. Anyone else find this noteworthy?

[The event is a] noteworthy update to President Obama's light schedule this week, considering the rumors about his religion that lingered throughout the 2008 campaign.

Muslim rumors, you mean — noted! Noted also, if you dig through the internet for information about this Muslim holiday and the White House, you find some equally noteworthy presidential comments, like this:

Ramadan commemorates the revelation of the Qur'an to Muhammed. By teaching the importance of compassion, justice, mercy, and peace, the Qur'an has guided many millions of believers across the centuries.

Americans who practice the Islamic faith enrich our society and help our Nation build a better future.

Laura joins me in sending our best wishes.

Verrrrry suspicious, indeed. "Laura" must be Michelle Obama's secret Muslim name.

Lubna Ahmed Hussein, a Sudanese journalist who also works in the media department of the UN Mission in Sudan, was arrested along with 13 other women at a popular cafe for wearing "indecent clothes."… She was wearing "trousers" and now faces flogging — 40 lashes. She and two other women asked for a lawyer. The other women (some non-Muslim) weren't so lucky: they received 10 lashes and a fine.

Arrested July 3 and now standing trial (in the same trousers that got her arrested!), Lubna claims she did nothing wrong under the strict Sharia or Islamic religious law, which has been in place in Sudan since 1989. She has immunity due to her association with the UN, but Lubna has decided to waive this in order to challenge the law.

Oh, I wasn't even talking about the pants. I mean that scarf! Olive green paisley? Excuse me, Lubna Ahmed Hussein, but mid-to-late 2005 called, and they want their '70s retro back. (This Imam over here knows what I'm talking about.)

Heh…

But serious, balls of steel. (Or ovaries of steel, or whatever.) Imagine if we had journalists with those kinds of principles over here? Just think of all the crazy shit they would do. Like reporting the news.

The bad news is that you're gonna have to start following orders from the head office and you're gonna have to be a little more careful about who you decide to kill.

The good news is that this is gonna do wonders for your PR!

"Suicide attacks should be used only on High and important targets. A brave son of Islam should not be used for lower and useless targets. The utmost effort should be made to avoid civilian casualties."

You're only allowed to blow yourself up with explosives to murder people who are deemed "important"? And you should probably try to not murder innocent people who just so happen to be standing nearby in the process?

Ugh! That's even more annoying than when they changed the computer log-in process so that every password was obligated to contain a number.

It’s time for Barack Obama to let Hillary Clinton take off her burqa. [Ed. note: In the photograph to the right Hillary is wearing the burqa under her jacket, because she did she not read the instruction manual.]

Consider the president’s Moscow trip a week ago. In a cozy scene at Vladimir Putin’s dacha, the boys enjoyed traditional Russian tea and breakfast on a terrace. Sitting on Putin’s right was the Russian foreign minister, Sergei Lavrov. Where was Lavrov’s counterpart? She was back home, left there with a broken elbow to receive a visit from the ousted Honduran president, José Manuel Zelaya.

How insulting! Honduras? Does that even count as a country? I can't believe Barack Obama is being so oppressive toward Hillary Clinton — actually yes I can, because Barack Obama does not like Hillary Clinton.

In fact, he does not like her so much, he married her…

You could say that Obama is lucky to have such a great foreign-policy wife. Those who voted for Hillary wonder how long she'll be content with an office wifehood of the Saudi variety.

We cannot let this important issue rest until Hillary Clinton shows us her birth certificate, the long-form document, certificate of live birth, NO PHOTOCOPIES.

I fear deeply what is about to happen. But I also sense that the Gandhi-strategy of the majority is a winning one. If they can sustain their numbers and withstand the nightly raids, and if they can overwhelm the capital tomorrow in another peaceful show of strength, then they can win. And the world will change.

This is their struggle now, requiring the kind of courage that only God can provide. Their God, my God, the God of the Torah and the Koran and the Gospels.

I fell over when I read that. But I was sitting at the time, so I had to stand up in order to fall over with the appropriate flair.

The reason I fell over was because I was in shock at just how right-on Sullivan got it. It was the amazing insight of that comment that rendered my inner ear ineffective. Because — yes, obviously! — that's been the problem in Iran all this time. Not enough religion!

So, let's everybody get together and pray that God finally get around to making his presence known there in the Middle East. Once He does — once He "provides the kind of courage that only God can provide" – I'm sure all their issues and abuses of power and gross violations of human rights will clear up just like that.

Then, when He's done, maybe he come around here to the States and show a little interest in our political process for a change.

The Wichita abortion clinic run by a doctor who was shot and killed will remain closed permanently, his family said on Tuesday.

Dr. George R. Tiller’s clinic was one of the few in the country to provide abortions to women late in their pregnancies, and for decades, women had traveled there from all over the nation and from overseas. It was also the only remaining abortion clinic, even for first trimester abortions, in the Wichita region.

It's so heart-warming to see American fundamentalist terrorist organizations really taking to heart all the things they've learned from their counterparts in the Middle East.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

Bin Laden claimed U.S. pressure led to a campaign of "killing, fighting, bombing and destruction" that prompted the exodus of a million Muslims from Swat Valley in northwest Pakistan.

The message was broadcast for the first time on pan-Arab Al-Jazeera Television around the same time Obama touched down in Saudi Arabia at the start of a Mideast visit. He is trying repair relations with the Muslim world frayed under the previous Bush administration.

"Elderly people, children and women fled their homes and lived in tents as refugees after they have lived in dignity in their homes," bin Laden said. "Let the American people be ready to reap what the White House leaders have sown," he added.

You know what? That offends me. I'm sorry, but I think that kind of hyper-partisan fundamentalist jihadist talk just crosses the line. I know you guys think I'm too sensitive, but I'm of the opinion that direct threats of mass murder could lead to violence.

Somebody should take that guy off the air.

I have no idea what point this cartoon is trying to make, but I am one hundred percent certain that the cartoonist knew that he fuckin' nailed it!

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I almost understand what this means. Almost. Though, I would imagine that the Tribulation Force would have more effective projectiles to use against the Antichrist than paper bills. Unless they're counting on massive paper cuts, wouldn't it be more effective to get them changed to pennies or quarters? Something that would at least leave a bump.

As it stands now, the Antichrist is just gonna pick up that money and use it to buy himself some Rogaine.

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Trick question. They're both immoral activities. The guy on the left is preparing to drive his Humvee home in time to watch Rachel Maddow.

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I gather — given the font used for the Bible verse/explanation of the little boy's Zen koan — that this cartoon is telling us that the Bible predicted the Internet and that it's a sign of the End Times. I wasn't sold on this until I went online and found the actually passage being referenced…

"But as for you, Daniel, conceal these words and seal up the book until the end of time; many will go back and forth, and knowledge will increase."

Well, it doesn't get any clearer than that. What else could Bronze Age nomadic people have meant by "and knowledge will increase." Obviously, it's the Internet. Don't even bother embarrassing yourself by attempting an alternate explanation. You'll just make yourself look like an idiot.

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Ha, look at that! Somebody hooked up the Lord's throne to an electrical socket. (See the lightning bolts?) So, when He sat down, He got a shock. Hilarious! Oh, those wacky angels finally got back at him for that asexuality prank he pulled on them.

Aw, man! Heaven sure is gonna be a wild place! I don't know about you, but when I die, I'm bringin' my Whoopie Bible.

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Hey, you little flying Nancy Pelosi imp who lives inside conservative people's dreams! Get out of here! Go on, shoo!

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Hahahahahahaha! I get it! Those Conservative Christian people were so focused on trying to control the way all the rest of us live our lives that they forgot to buy houses or coats or hats. Homeless people are funny!

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You can try to keep your thoughts focused on a big ball of spaghetti all you like, Al Gore. But that won't stop the Lord Almighty from smiting you with manageable drifts of frozen precipitation.

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No, don't open that door, Obama! There's some new gaseous form of Islamic Fundamentalism behind there! You're gonna let all the fatwa vapors in! Nooooooo!!!

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Oh! This cartoon explains everything! I was wondering why those people from several milennia ago who were completely caught up in inter-tribal warfare didn't take the time to give clear directives concerning whether or not homosexual people in a hemisphere that they didn't yet know existed should be allowed to get married.

And here I was thinking it was because they didn't care.

Except that they're not hampered by quite the same rules of etiquette…

In the past two months, the bodies of as many as 25 boys and men suspected of being gay have turned up in the huge Shiite enclave of Sadr City, the police and friends of the dead say. Most have been shot, some multiple times. Several have been found with the word "pervert" in Arabic on notes attached to their bodies, the police said…

The killers, the police say, are not just Shiite death squads, but also tribal and family members shamed by their gay relatives… Clerics in Sadr City have urged followers to help root out homosexuality in Iraqi society, and the police have begun their own crackdown on gay men.

I have to say, this stirring up of violence against gays seems more than a bit hypocritical on the parts of those clerics, considering how closely they've obviously modeled their style on that of Norma Desmond's…

You just know they've got an old VHS copy of Torch Song Trilogy hidden away somewhere in their apartments.

You just know it.

Here he is visiting a Muslim country and not in a fighter jet full of crates that are full of cans that are themselves filled with whoop ass…

Fulfilling a campaign promise to speak in a Muslim capital during the first 100 days of his presidency, President Obama addressed the Turkish parliament Monday. His message was one of unity, and it had quite a different feel from the rhetoric of Obama's predecessor.

"I know there have been difficulties these last few years. I know that the trust that binds us has been strained, and I know that strain is shared in many places where the Muslim faith is practiced," Obama said. "Let me say this as clearly as I can: the United States is not at war with Islam. In fact, our partnership with the Muslim world is critical in rolling back a fringe ideology that people of all faiths reject."

Christ! What is he doing?! Doesn't he know the first thing about diplomacy? You never admit that you're not currently waging war on a country, or they lose all respect for you. As far as the world is concerned, we should be consider at war with every single country. Even Liechtenstein. (Especially Liechtenstein!)

We need to have them afraid that we're about to kill them That way, they want to be our friends.

Come on. It's Foreign Policy 101.