Somebody play Contessa Brewer off, please…

I'd let him cut off my nuts anytime he liked…

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To celebrate rainbow pusher Jesse Jackson's latest gaffe, we fondly remember his last interview with Jon, about a Democratic presidential candidate whose balls he didn't want to cut off. We think.

Thanks to Bill O'Reilly and the fine people over at Fox News, we no longer need to speculate on the horrible, unthinkable statements that Jesse Jackson made about Barack Obama.

Unfortunately, while genuinely, all around not cool, they're not nearly as bad as I — as a blog-writing person with a lower than average sense of personal morality — was hoping they'd be. Oh, well…

"See, Barack been, um, talking down to black people on this faith based… I wanna cut his nuts off. Barack… he's talking down to black people."

He wants to cut his nuts off?

Jesse Jackson says "nuts"?

I don't know why that surprises me, but it does for some reason. Do you think he uses it in regular conversation, like, "Ah, my nuts are sweaty," or "Hey, don't get that curling iron too close to my nuts," or "I prefer my nuts roasted and salted"?

So, Jesse Jackson did apologize for his moment of idiocy, and if you wanna see that, it's after the jump (because apologies are much less interesting than idiocies).

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Here's a little thing that I've learned in the course of studying politics: If the media is paying attention to Jesse Jackson, you just know it's gonna be something good…

The Rev. Jesse Jackson issued an apology to Barack Obama Wednesday for criticizing the Illinois senator's recent comments directed toward some members of the black community.

According to Jackson, a Fox News microphone picked up comments he meant to deliver privately that seemed to disparage the presumptive Democratic nominee for appearing to lecture the black community on morality.

What the fuck is wrong with him? If I were a controversial black Democrat, I wouldn't even think disparaging comments about Barack Obama near a Fox News microphone.

Jackson didn't elaborate on the context of his remarks, except to say he was trying to explain that Obama was hurting his relationship with black voters by recently conducting "moral" lectures at African-American churches.

According to Matt Drudge, Fox News will be airing Jackson's mysteriously defamatory comments on — you guessed it — The O'Reilly Factor (sponsored by Auntie Thelma's Motherfucking Iced Tea) tonight at 8pm.

* On a completely irrelevant note, this is the third Jesse-related post of the day. On most days, there are zero Jesse-related posts. The others are here and here. I'm really pulling for John Stamos to do something interesting in the next hour or so!