* Perhaps taking a cue from her most rogueish guest, Oprah Winfrey has decided she will no longer be shackled behind her talk show.

* The Senate takes up its version of the health care bill tomorrow morning. Harry Reid needs 60 votes just to proceed with debate, because the Republicans do not want to deal with this thing at all. If they filibuster, let us hope they forgo the phonebooks and pledge allegiance to the flag for twelve hours straight. (Eat your heart out, Todd Akin!)

* Said health care bill is 2,074 pages long. Tony Perkins and his fightin' evangelicals have released something called "The Manhattan Declaration," which manages to cover "the sanctity of life, traditional marriage and religious liberty" in just 4,700 words.

* President Obama will make a decision about Afghanistan troop levels after Thanksgiving, assuming he's not in a food coma.

Obviously, the biggest problem facing America today is that most male college professors, ACLU representatives and Democratic presidents have turned their back on the Biblical act of standing up to "pisseth," opting instead to sit down, probably so that they can more easily paint their toenails while peeing.

This guy knows what I'm talking about…

(via Pharyngula)

Next on the Almighty's to-smite list: The state of South Carolina, where an activist judge has ruled that a "Christian-themed license plate" (modeled on the Florida version, pictured above) is "unconstitutional" and will not go into production.

Really, Judge Cameron Currie? All of a sudden it's "unconstitutional" to believe?

[South Carolina Lt. Gov. Andre] Bauer, whose idea it was to pass the [I Believe Act] and who worked with Joe Mack, a prominent Baptist, to get it introduced, attacked Currie on Tuesday, calling her a "liberal judge appointed by (President) Bill Clinton."

Bauer said the ruling represented "another attack on Christianity" and that Currie "was using her personal wishes to overrule the Legislature and the will of the thousands of South Carolinians who want to purchase the tags."

Good to know there are still some believers out there who aren't afraid to believe, despite anti-believing judges who believe in nothing except the "First Amendment," which is what heathens and infidels cling to instead of God.

And I'm sure Lt. Gov. Bauer's argument wouldn't change at all if the plate's design were just a teeny bit different:

At least that's what I believe.

Everyone be quiet! Quiet! Some guy who claims to represent the magic man who lives in the sky has something very important to say about some other people who claim to represent some other magic man who lives in the sky…

A chief spokesman for the pro-life, far-right organization, American Family Association, has called for the purging of Muslim soldiers from military ranks in the wake of the tragic killings at Fort Hood.

Really? Really?! This comes as a huge shock to me, given how much these Christian right groups have time and time again shown how much respect they have for equality, civil liberties and Constitutional ideals.

But, hey hey hey hey! Don't walk away under the impression that the AFA or its Director of Issues Analysis Bryan Fischer thinks that every single Muslim (technical) citizen of the United States is just bursting at the chance to kill a real (white) American…

"Of course, most U.S. Muslims don't shoot up their fellow soldiers. Fine."

See? Totally open-minded.

"As soon as Muslims give us a foolproof way to identify their jihadis from their moderates, we'll go back to allowing them to serve."

Thanks, Christians! How Christ-like you are.

"You tell us who the ones are that we have to worry about, prove you're right, and Muslims can once again serve. Until that day comes, we simply cannot afford the risk. You invent a jihadi-detector that works every time it's used, and we'll welcome you back with open arms."

"This is not Islamophobia, it is Islamo-realism."

I can't even Islamo-bring myself to Islamo-give an Islamo-real response to Islamo-this.

It's just way too Christ-arded.

How long has it been since your computer monitor had a good punching? Why do you ask? Oh, no reason. Just wondering.

On a completely unrelated note…

"We went up against tremendous odds," Marc Mutty, public affairs director for the Roman Catholic Diocese of Portland who has been on loan to the campaign, said from Portland.

"We all know we were the little guy going up against the big guy, but we prevailed. We prevailed because the people of Maine — the silent majority — the folks back home spoke with their votes."

Those plucky underdogs on loan from the Catholic Church really pulled it off, didn't they? Yay, Catholics! I can't believe they somehow managed to do it with only the worldwide multi-billion dollar religious organization behind them. It's always nice when the little guy wins, isn't it? Real Revenge of the Nerds situation going on there.

And this time, Big Gay didn't know what hit it! Haha! Those stuffed shirt homosexuals wanting to protect their families and keep their basic human rights really took one on the chin for the first time ever.

(via Dan Savage)

Golly! I'm in a pickle. I like to think of myself as a thoroughly tolerant Christian man of the new millennium, but I also enjoy stripping away the rights of my fellow citizens because they're different than me.

Isn't there any way that I can be a small-minded bigot and sleep soundly in a cocoon of self-deluded rationalization?

Yes (on 1) there is, as a matter of fact (according to this group of Conservative Christians)!

Oh, so what you're saying is I can do or think whatever horrible thing I like, just so long as I pretend like I'm doing it in the service of some vague, imaginary ideal? It's what Jesus died on the cross at Normandy for.

Yay, whatever this thing is that I've decided is not bigotry!