The opinions expressed on this blog are the personal opinions of our bloggers, and in no way reflect the opinions of Comedy Central, MTV Networks or Viacom.
Warning
Some blogs or websites linked from this site may contain objectionable or uncensored content. Comedy Central is not affiliated with these websites and makes no representations or warranties as to their content.
With only 23 months to go before the vast majority of votes of the vast majority the midterm elections will be counted, Republican Georgia Senator Saxby Chambliss has declared himself the very first victor of 2010, after beating his Democratic opponent, Jim Martin, in the 2008 runoff election for Georgia's senate seat.
Garnering 57.5% of the two million Georganians who bothered to vote, incumbent Sen. Saxby Chambliss — according to incumbent Sen. Saxby Chambliss — represents the return to conservative values that America has so craved since the crushing defeat of conservative values one month ago…
"You have delivered tonight a strong message to the world that conservative Georgia values matter [in the state of Georgia]," he said.
"You have delivered a message that a balance of government in Washington is necessary, and that's not only what [2.9 percent of] the people of Georgia want but what [0.02 percent of] the people of America want."
You can't argue with numbers like that. Today truly is a great day for the conservative movement.
But why exactly did such an overwhelming fraction of the people of America reject the failed policies of the not-yet-inaugurated Obama administration?
"If you can't have a little back-and-forth arguing between the parties, then the party in power will make mistakes," said Ron Zukowski, a computer expert in Atlanta who voted for Mr. Chambliss. "This was my chance to say no, and I said no."
Luckily, now, thanks to Mr. Zukowski's "Power of No," the American people will be spared of four years of a government that makes any mistakes.
Jon weighs in on the Senate run-off race with Saxby Chambliss and Jim Martin, including Chambliss' granddaughter grope and three rappers Martin has never heard of.
"I am Jim Martin, and I'm sure I'm going to lose."
Update: I am not Jim Martin, and I am sure that he did lose.
Sen. Saxby Chambliss (R-GA) is facing a run-off election on December 2, and his Republican buddies are lined up halfway to South Carolina for the chance to pimp him to weary voters.
While Democratic challenger Jim Martin is forced to make due with a team of "Obama surrogates," Chambliss has mobilized so many A-List Republicans, you'd think Terri Schiavo had moved to Georgia.
Among the GOP stars due to appear…
John McCain What He Brings to the Table: 52% of the Georgia vote. Tell-all stories about Joe the Plumber. What's in It for Him: Opportunity to prove he is still alive.
Mike Huckabee What He Brings to the Table: The TV star power of Oprah Winfrey, if Oprah were a white, southern ex-governor who built an entire career on weight loss. What's in It for Him: The chance that someone might let him play "Free Bird" again.
Mitt Romney What He Brings to the Table:Money. Otherwise he wouldn't be invited. What's in It for Him: More press footage of himself he can masturbate to.
Rudy Giuliani What He Brings to the Table: The missing link between Jim Martin and the 9/11 terrorists. What's in It for Him: Doesn't matter. We already know he's willing to give up his reputation, his career and $59 million for one measly delegate.
And if for some reason the runoff drags all the way out to 2012, Chambliss will have no problem assembling the same cast of characters. He can just set up a TV camera in Iowa and watch this crowd come racing like flies to a turd.
Personally, I couldn't care less if the entire American automobile industry were to tank in the next couple weeks, causing millions of workers to lose their jobs and untold damage to the nation's already fragile economy.
I don't drive. I take the subway in to work. So, I don't see how something like that could possibly affect me.
That said, Democrat Chris Dodd, chairman of the Senate banking committee, is all going all blah blah blah about how he doesn't think that there would be enough Republican support in a proposed lame-duck session of Congress next week to pass a bailout bill for Big Car…
"Right now, I don't think there are the votes," the chairman, Senator Christopher J. Dodd of Connecticut, said, adding that he personally was in favor of using money from the $700 billion financial rescue program to help General Motors, Ford and Chrysler. But Mr. Dodd said he did not believe such a bill would get through the Senate.
"I don't know of a single Republican who's willing to support," Mr. Dodd said. "So I want to be careful about bringing up a proposition that might fail in light of the fact the authority exists, and under an Obama administration there seems to be a greater willingness to deal with the issue. So there are some political considerations to be made."
If that's the case, that there's not "a single Republican who's willing to support" it in a 51-49 split Senate, then they're still fucked. Unless Al Franken, Mark Begich and Jim Martin all manage to win their Senate races somehow, the Democrats are still going to be short of the 60 votes needed to pass the bill.
I guess all of you will just have to follow my lead and start taking the subway to the jobs that you don't have.
It's not all that bad. Just make sure to bring an iPod and stare straight ahead into oblivion whenever a guy with a guitar gets on the train.
RSS
With only 23 months to go before the vast majority of votes of the vast majority the midterm elections will be counted, Republican Georgia Senator Saxby Chambliss has declared himself the very first victor of 2010, after beating his Democratic opponent, Jim Martin, in the 2008 runoff election for Georgia's senate seat.
* Saxby Chambliss and other guy somehow 
Sen. Saxby Chambliss (R-GA) is facing a run-off election on December 2, and his Republican buddies are lined up halfway to South Carolina for the chance to pimp him to weary voters.
Personally, I couldn't care less if the entire American automobile industry were to tank in the next couple weeks, causing millions of workers to lose their jobs and untold damage to the nation's already fragile economy.
