Karl Rove
August 17 at 6:29PM
* Vanity Fair gives it up for the pimpest evil dictator of all time.
* Joe the Plumber on the patriotic virtues of beating up an old lady. That is one classy faux-plumber.
* Evil cartoon characters Karl Rove and Rush Limbaugh to be animated.
* Texas schools to start teaching the Bible as part of curriculum in last ditch effort wrest idiocy title from Oklahoma.
* Have you googled "Santorum" recently?
August 12 at 12:07PM
For whatever reason the House Judiciary Committee insists on investigating things that happened in the past, like members of the Bush administration allegedly breaking the law, instead of things that are going to happen in the future, like Barack Obama's confirmed plot to kill seniors. Ugh, bureaucrats!
Anyway, yesterday these backward-lookers dredged up 6,000 pages of documents about the 2006 firings of nine United States Attorneys, a scandal that resulted in serious consequences for students at Texas Tech University, and somehow poor Karl Rove got dragged into the mess…
[Rove aide Scott] Jennings wondered "what else I can do to move this process forward" in one e-mail, and told Griffin in another that, "I would really like to move forward with getting rid of NM US ATTY."
Rove told the judiciary committee, according to transcripts of his interview, that Jennings was "freelancing" in his attempts to have Iglesias fired, but [former White House Counsel Harriet] Miers, in her interview, said that a very "agitated" Rove telephoned her from New Mexico in September 2006, saying that Iglesias was "a serious problem and he wanted something done about it."
There you go! All Karl Rove said was that he "wanted something done" about the New Mexico attorney. That doesn't mean he wanted the guy to get fired, for heaven's sake. My guess? Karl Rove just wanted someone to send Mr. Iglesias a fruit basket, to make him feel like a team player. I bet Karl Rove sent lots of people inspirational fruit baskets over the years.
Not that the liberal media will ever report on that completely obvious explanation for everything.
July 7 at 5:30PM
Here's a handy little chart — brought to you by that helpful fellow Karl Rove — showing how well the Obama administration is doing with matching its projections for post-stimulus job growth…

Yikes! I'm no math guy, but I'm pretty sure that's what's known as the exact opposite of what we want. If the trend continues like that all the way to the end of that chart each American will have to not have two jobs just to not making a living.
I have no idea what's happening with the employment market. And, apparently, nobody else does either. But IMAO's Farnk J. has tried to narrow things down to two possibilities…
A) The Obama administration has absolutely no idea what it’s doing about the economy.
B) The Obama administration knows exactly what it's doing about the economy and means to destroy it and us.
My guess is that A is correct, but do keep possibility B in mind.
I actually kinda hope B is correct. 'Cause that would at least mean that somebody somewhere understands what's happening.
June 18 at 5:47PM

A numerological statistical analysis of the numerical compatibility between number crunching geeks Nate Silver and Karl Rove
While Rove is a Republican spin doctor and Silver a "rational progressive," there is substantial and surprising overlap between the two.
|
Nate Silver |
Karl Rove |
Sign
100% match |
Capricorn |
Capricorn |
Nick Name
75% match |
Poblano, Numbers Machine, genius, "the human abacus" and "the guy who taught numbers how to fuck" |
Boy Genius, Turdblossom |
| Appearance 50 % match |
cute, blue eyes, wears hipster (50% nerdy) glasses 50% of the time |
fugly, blue eyes, wears 100% nerdy glasses 100% of the time |
Interests
60% match |
Baseball, counting, high school debate team |
MC rove-ing, high school debate team |
Popularity
98.5% match |
"There's a 97.3% chance that Nate Silver is Totally My Boyfriend" said page.
97.3% |
In order to win the high school senate race, Rove was driven into the school gym in a convertible, seated between two pretty girls.
20% if consensual
10% if paid
-100% if forced |
Childhood Geek Level
100% match |
According to his father, Silver "was a numbers fanatic…. When we took him to preschool one time, we dropped him off, and he announced, 'Today, I'm a numbers machine,' and started counting…. When we picked him up two and a half hours later, he was 'Two thousand one hundred and twenty-two, two thousand one hundred and twenty-three…' "
= 100% |
Rove said "I was the complete nerd. I had the briefcase. I had the pocket protector. I wore Hush Puppies when they were not cool. I was the thin, scrawny little guy. I was definitely uncool."
=100% |
Current Geek Level
100% match |
See above
- at preschool
+ at home
= 100% |
See above
-"thin, scrawny little guy"
+ full figured
= 100% |
2008 Election
Prediction
??% match*
??% accuracy |
|
Obama: 338
McCain: 200 |
* Nate Silver, if you're reading this, could you please calculate these?
Based on their surprisingly high commonality levels, I tested their compatibility and determined that, based on numerology, the two have a compatibility of between 25 and 79%. As a control, I used both the subjects' given full names as well as the names they go by…
Read more »
June 15 at 9:00AM

So, as we're sure all of you know all too well, The Radio and Television Correspondents' Association Dinner is almost upon us. This is an event which was probably best described by Ana Marie Cox two years ago…
It's a lot like the White House correspondents' dinner, but with fewer fake famous people and worse entertainment. But the wine is free and if you, like me, get a kick out seeing moderately well-known wonks attempt to have "fun" (imagine four hours of trying to teach your dad to dance or somesuch), it can be diverting.
It's also the event responsible for burning the image of MC Rove into our collective consciousness.
Anyway — for reasons that make complete sense to us — we're celebrating this diverting event with the following exciting features…
* A blog series highlighting the burgeoning love story between MSM personalities and the scruffy bloggers who follow their every movement.
* The Internet premiere of a brand new video from JibJab that will be featured at this years Radio & TV dinner ceremony.
* Lots of other appreciative correspondent-related material which can technically, according to our lawyers, be referred to as "exciting features."
So, make sure you check back at least once every three minutes until we tell you otherwise.
June 11 at 12:58PM
Today Barack Obama is on the road stumping for health care reform, so you know what that means: Karl Rove's up on the Wall Street Journal op-ed page explaining that if Obama's health care plans go through our policies will be written in French…
If Democrats enact a public-option health-insurance program, America is on the way to becoming a European-style welfare state.
And from there it's a short slide to wooden shoes, burly men in Speedos and David Hasselhoff fan clubs.
Advocates say a government-run insurance program is needed to provide competition for private health insurance. But 1,300 companies sell health insurance plans. That's competition enough.
Now, if there were only 1,298 companies selling health insurance plans that would be a completely different story. Sure, consumers can't shop for policies across state lines, but so what? The point is, there are 1,300 different companies at our disposal, theoretically, which means there's no need for any more.
Defeating the public option should be a top priority for the GOP this year. Otherwise, our nation will be changed in damaging ways almost impossible to reverse.
Yes, well.
He is the expert on that last bit.
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