Doom with a View?
Ken Ellis, DB Staff Reporter

As America is suddenly gripped in the midst of another war — one that could decide the fate of all mankind — the U.S. government just can't seem to stop arguing over how to defend its people from shape-shifting aliens that are capable of assuming human guise at any time. Over the past week, emergency proposals to allocate funding toward battling the Skrull invasion have accomplished little more than littering Congress agendas, as House of Representatives and Senate members bicker over the best course of action.

Those who are currently fighting for a future inside the Oval Office, however, have been far more proactive. On Tuesday, Stephen Colbert vocally chastised members of Congress, claiming that the alien threat should be rallying America's leaders, not splitting them apart even further. Furthermore, Colbert urged that emergency war funding be approved immediately, and that the country's resources — including its strategic petroleum reserves — be tapped as required to help combat the invaders.

"Mr. Colbert firmly believes that at this point in time, our government is only hurting the very people it has sworn to protect," said Colbert's campaign strategist David Seperson. "The resources to defend our nation from these monsters must be made available to us; that's what they're there for."

Seperson added that Colbert has placed phone calls to several other world leaders who have reportedly been affected by the Skrull invasion, including King T'Challa of Wakanda and the recently incarcerated Victor Von Doom, self-imposed monarch of Latveria. "He has yet to receive word back from either ruler," he confirmed, "but considering the circumstances, that's certainly understandable."

Contacting T'Challa could certainly be construed as "understandable." But Dr. Doom — a jailed despot who time and again has battled the Fantastic Four and was recently brought to justice by the Avengers for his crimes against humanity?

"True, Latveria is a Third World nation that's been ruled by a mad tyrant in most people's eyes," Seperson explained. "However, that nation's advancements in technology are second to none. And with Mr. Fantastic unavailable these days, Mr. Colbert thinks we need all the scientific know-how we can gather if Earth is going to survive this crisis."

For a special Colbert easter egg, check out Captain America #41, on sale now.

This week's images are from Secret Invasion #13.

Previous Colbert easter eggs:

Ms. Marvel #29, X-Factor #33, Eternals #2, Punisher War Journal #21, She-Hulk #30 X-Factor #32, Amazing Spider-Man #562 Secret Invasion #3, Ms. Marvel #27 and She-Hulk #29, Incredible Hercules #117, X-Men: Legacy #211, Young X-Men #2, Amazing Spider-Man #556, She Hulk #28, Incredible Hercules #116, Amazing Spider-Man #556, Secret Invasion #1

Alien Threat Puts Colbert in Favorable Poll Position

Ken Ellis, DB Staff Reporter

There are still three months to go, and many issues to deliberate over, before a new Commander-in-Chief is elected into the Oval Office. However, those who participated in a DB straw poll this past week have very definite opinions on where our country — and its future leader — should direct their attention.

More than 39 percent of the 1,750 straw poll respondents believe that the United States should actually concentrate less on waging war in Iraq (16 percent), battling terrorism (24 percent) and sparking a struggling economy (21 percent), and more on combating the shape-shifting aliens that, to this point, have posed a very real danger to the entire planet.

"Based on the results of the straw poll, it's apparent that a majority of the voters have become concerned with the most immediate and tangible threat before them," noted DB polling director James White, Jr. "Although the other issues remain extremely important, the extraterrestrial attacks that have occurred worldwide are foremost on their minds."

White added that the respondents' answer to a subsequent question in the census was equally telling; of the candidates engaged in November's race to the White House, an impressive 42 percent believe that Stephen Colbert has been most proactive in dealing with the alien menace.

"While his opponents have seemed to waffle a bit and want more information before making any comments, Colbert makes no secret of the fact that he thinks this country needs to tackle the pressing problem at hand," White said. "Like he stated during his press conference in San Francisco last week, national issues seem rather insignificant when there's a distinct possibility the planet may not be around much longer."

For a special Colbert easter egg, check out Ms. Marvel #29, on sale now.

Previous Colbert easter eggs:

X-Factor #33, Eternals #2, Punisher War Journal #21, She-Hulk #30 X-Factor #32, Amazing Spider-Man #562 Secret Invasion #3, Ms. Marvel #27 and She-Hulk #29, Incredible Hercules #117, X-Men: Legacy #211, Young X-Men #2, Amazing Spider-Man #556, She Hulk #28, Incredible Hercules #116, Amazing Spider-Man #556, Secret Invasion #1

Colbert's Week of "West Coasting"
Ken Ellis, DB Staff Reporter

Although the free world grows further consumed by thoughts of a struggling economy, warring nations and alien invasion, Stephen Colbert maintains that rather than become a nation of whiners, things must remain "business as usual." And for the presidential hopeful, business this week includes a whirlwind tour of the "Left Coast."

Monday saw Secret Service agents accompany the populist as several members from the Commission on Superhuman Affairs (CSA) provided him with a tour of the Thunderbolts Mountain facility in Coyote Springs, Colorado. While there, Colbert spent a few minutes — under heavily armed supervision — speaking with Norman Osborn, former Green Goblin and the CSA's acting director of the Thunderbolts. Although their conversation seemed coolly amicable, Colbert has previously condemned Osborn and his faction of rehabilitating criminals, despite its effectiveness in tracking down potentially dangerous individuals who refuse to enroll themselves in the Superhuman Registration Act. Last month, the presidential hopeful's camp even released a statement of outright censure, asserting that the Thunderbolts are "untrustworthy…a menace waiting for the right time to strike."

On Tuesday afternoon, Team Colbert flew to San Francisco, new home for the controversial mutant group known as the X-Men. Although he was unable to meet personally with the newest residents of the City by the Bay, Colbert enjoyed his visit to the War Memorial and Performing Arts Center with San Francisco's mayor — known to everyone simply as Sadie. Since personally welcoming the X-Men after they rescued the city from the mutant illusionist called Mastermind, the mayor has generated divisiveness within her own political party — as well as spikes in city tourism and commerce, which during these troubled times is nothing short of impressive.

Where's next for Colbert? A spokesperson from his team says he'll remain in San Francisco until Thursday. Then, unless he's called away on urgent business, he'll head to San Diego and join the 150,000-plus expected at Comic Con International — though he doesn't plan on too much campaigning while there.

"Mr. Colbert is a huge comics fan, so he wants to wind down a little and take in the festivities," the spokesperson explained. "And since he didn't find that Sentry comic he was looking for in New York last April, he's hoping his luck will change over the weekend."

This week's image is from X-Factor #33.

Previous Colbert easter eggs:

Eternals #2, Punisher War Journal #21, She-Hulk #30 X-Factor #32, Amazing Spider-Man #562 Secret Invasion #3, Ms. Marvel #27 and She-Hulk #29, Incredible Hercules #117, X-Men: Legacy #211, Young X-Men #2, Amazing Spider-Man #556, She Hulk #28, Incredible Hercules #116, Amazing Spider-Man #556, Secret Invasion #1

Power Packing to the Oval Office?
Ken Ellis, DB Staff Reporter

Skyrocketing fuel costs, soaring grocery bills, take heed: Stephen Colbert plans to wipe you out if he's elected president this November.

Naturally, pledges to conquer such economic obstacles are being made by every candidate this election year. However, Colbert's camp claims to have the inside track on making these guarantees realities.

"Mr. Colbert is maintaining close contact with key people to find solutions to these extremely pressing dilemmas in our national economy," stated spokesperson Katherine Raymond last Monday. "In recent months, he has met with geneticist Henry Pym and S.H.I.E.L.D. Director Anthony Stark about devising technologies that can help in these efforts."

Just as Colbert has criticized Senator Gordon Wright's recent association with a man claiming to be Captain America, the populist's detractors have continually accused him of tapping "star power" to boost his own numbers in the race to the White House. After all, both Pym and Stark are founding members of Earth's Mightiest Heroes, The Avengers, a team that over the years has dominated front-page headlines.

"Perhaps one could call Dr. Pym and Director Stark 'celebrities,'" Raymond admitted."“But along with Reed Richards, they're some of the greatest minds on this planet. Dr. Pym's genetic expertise could be pivotal in devising new ways to produce crops in areas that have been devastated by Mother Nature. And before Director Stark ever built rockets into armored boots or took over S.H.I.E.L.D., he was a master at building technologies that, if used properly, can ultimately replace the need for oil.

"Mr. Colbert is thinking about this country first, not who he should hang out with to become popular," Raymond added. "With everything this world is going through right now, on top of rumors of shape-shifting aliens running around, Mr. Colbert is looking to people that this country can trust in a crisis."

For a special Colbert easter egg, check out Eternals #2, on sale now.

This week's image is from Punisher War Journal #21.

Previous Colbert easter eggs:

She-Hulk #30, X-Factor #32, Amazing Spider-Man #562 Secret Invasion #3, Ms. Marvel #27 and She-Hulk #29, Incredible Hercules #117, X-Men: Legacy #211, Young X-Men #2, Amazing Spider-Man #556, She Hulk #28, Incredible Hercules #116, Amazing Spider-Man #556, Secret Invasion #1

Colbert on Wright: "The Man Who Scammed America", or, Farce of July?
Ken Ellis, DB Staff Reporter

The Fourth of July holiday weekend is upon us, but the best fireworks this week are emanating from the presidential race, particularly between Stephen Colbert and Senator Gordon Wright.

On Monday, Colbert released a statement that essentially accused the Third Wing Party leader of staging his own assassination attempt in Chicago last week — an attempt that was thwarted by a man dressed as Captain America, who then addressed the crowd to personally endorse the Senator's platform.

"Senator Wright's actions are deplorable," said Colbert campaign strategist David Seperson. "He's exploiting the American public's desperate need to believe in a symbol during these troubled times. We find it extremely convenient that Captain America would return from the 'Great Beyond' only days after the polls showed the Senator three points behind Mr. Colbert."

The incident in Chicago marks the second appearance of Captain America since his own very public assassination months ago. The last time was amid a protest gone awry in Washington, D.C., while Senator Wright happened to be visiting the White House.

"That Captain America didn't even wear the right costume, and several people claimed he carried a firearm," Seperson stated on behalf of Colbert. "At least they got the details right in Chicago."

At this time, there has been no reaction to this controversy from the camps of Senators Barack Obama and John McCain. However, Wright spokesperson Brittany Clyde responded in a statement, "If Mr. Colbert has such a problem with Captain America saving Senator Wright, people seriously need to evaluate whether or not he's more concerned for the welfare of this nation, or the fact that the Senator is about to overtake him in the polls."

"It's despicable," Seperson added. "Wright's P.R. people have been intentionally creating buzz that Captain America may show up to support the Third Wing rally in Minneapolis. What's next? Wright campaign fund-raisers? Politicians' birthday parties for their kids? Disgraceful."

For a special Colbert easter egg, check out Punisher War Journal #21, on sale today.

X-Factor #32, Amazing Spider-Man #562 Secret Invasion #3, Ms. Marvel #27 and She-Hulk #29, Incredible Hercules #117, X-Men: Legacy #211, Young X-Men #2, Amazing Spider-Man #556, She Hulk #28, Incredible Hercules #116, Amazing Spider-Man #556, Secret Invasion #1

Otherworlders Put Colbert on Border Patrol
Ken Ellis, DB Staff Reporter

The subject of comprehensive immigration reform is a growing presidential predicament these days. But Stephen Colbert believes that the recommendations to secure U.S. borders from "illegal aliens" should apply to those of the extraterrestrial kind as well.

"Mr. Colbert fully grasps the importance of dealing with those who enter this country illegally," said camp spokesperson Tracy Dugan. "But he believes that we should put into effect laws that will also govern refugees who have traveled from another world, dimension or otherworldly province, not just Mexico or Cuba."

Colbert may have a point, especially after that alien threat in New York City recently. And it wasn't so long ago that Prince Namor of Atlantis had threatened the wellbeing of "inferior surface-dwellers" that he generally helps defend now. Then there are the likes of Thor, Hercules or the Mighty Avengers' Ares; many critics have argued that these mythical gods walking amongst us only follow our laws until they no longer suit their own purposes.

That said, how does one tell otherworldly beings to step into line or exit U.S. borders without risk of finding themselves in the maw of a monstrous sea creature, or the smiting end of a hammer called Mjolnir?

Adam Kirshner, anti-mutant activist and one-time follower of Rev. William Stryker, shares the populist's concerns, even if some of them are addressed by the Superhuman Registration Act. "We needed to extend similar reforms with mutants long ago," Kirshner said Tuesday. "Their unnatural abilities give them reason to believe that they're above man's — or God's — laws. To this day, we're regretting that we never put the leash on that collar when we needed to."

"Mr. Colbert doesn't know Mr. Kirshner, nor does he share his bigoted vision," Dugan emphatically stated. "Mr. Kirshner is simply a hate-monger who wants to ride on the coattails of a presidential frontrunner."

For a special Colbert easter egg, check out She-Hulk #30, on sale today.

This week's image is from X-Factor #32.

Previous Colbert easter eggs:

Amazing Spider-Man #562, Secret Invasion #3, Ms. Marvel #27 and She-Hulk #29, Incredible Hercules #117, X-Men: Legacy #211, Young X-Men #2, Amazing Spider-Man #556, She Hulk #28, Incredible Hercules #116, Amazing Spider-Man #556, Secret Invasion #1

Falling Victim to a "Secret Evasion?"
Ken Ellis, DB Staff Reporter

Come November 4, you will decide which candidate you trust most to hold office as the United States' commander-in-chief. But today, Camp Colbert is vocally questioning which government officials you should trust until Election Day.

A written statement from Colbert's campaign team last Friday claimed that as a result of his populist position on Comedy Central's The Colbert Report, Colbert's political enemies have conspired to "shut him out" of issues that significantly impact the country. The statement also alleged that the government's "evasiveness and failure to update Mr. Colbert on matters of national interest…has given [presidential] opponents who currently hold public office an unfair advantage as the campaign progresses forward."

On Tuesday, a spokesman from Senator Gordon Wright's Third Wing Party referred to Colbert's protest as "whiny poppycock from a TV personality who just realized he's in over his head."

"I understand Colbert's growing concern," noted analyst Simon Winston during a campaign special that broadcast on CMN last Sunday. "Look what happened in Las Vegas last week, with the supposed 'Hulk-level threat.' Then take what happened several weeks ago in New York City — you had the Baxter Building exploding, conflicting reports of an alien threat, and all sorts of chaos in the streets. In both cases, Colbert — a candidate for the most powerful office in the world — has learned only little more than the same information that's being given out to the public."

So, is it fair to suggest that Colbert is the victim of what one camp member calls a "secret evasion?" "Absolutely," claimed the supporter. "Hopefully, though, this will only further impress on the American public that the government's actions are a symptom of an administrative disorder that has gone untreated. Now voters have someone they can trust to cure the nation of such ills."

For a special Colbert easter egg, check out X-Factor #32, on sale today.

Secret Invasion #3, Ms. Marvel #27 and She-Hulk #29, Incredible Hercules #117, X-Men: Legacy #211, Young X-Men #2, Amazing Spider-Man #556, She Hulk #28, Incredible Hercules #116, Amazing Spider-Man #556, Secret Invasion #1

Colbert on Rampage after Hulk-Level "Threat"
Ken Ellis, DB Staff Reporter

This week, Stephen Colbert is angry. And his campaign team doesn't like it when he's angry.

Then again, his spokespeople say he's justified in feeling "extremely irked." After all, wouldn't you, a prospective Commander-in-Chief, be cheesed if your scheduled campaign stop in Las Vegas Tuesday was abruptly cancelled by U.S. military officials for reasons of that tired old cliché "national security?"

"My wife and I drove up from Boulder City to see Colbert," said Jim Evans, "but a bunch of military types had cordoned off the area and started evacuating everyone. Even Colbert's people were being moved."

"I thought I heard one soldier mention that a 'Hulk-level threat' might approach the city," said Gloria Evans. "But they described whatever it was as being red, so I couldn't tell you for sure what they were talking about.”

A Hulk-level threat, whether it be red, green or grey, is just cause to close up an otherwise-heavily populated section of Las Vegas. After all, Manhattan is still picking up the pieces months after the gamma-radiated behemoth nearly laid waste to the entire city.

Unfortunately — or fortunately, depending on one's point-of-view — the menace they feared would come smashing through Sin City never showed. So, within hours after their arrival, the soldiers pulled up stakes and left — with no explanation, and no apologies.

"Mr. Colbert was extremely disappointed on behalf of everyone who came out to meet him," according to his camp representative. "Normally, he fully endorses our troops' efforts to protect our citizens. But in this instance, they disrupted the entire area, then refused to enlighten Mr. Colbert as to why they had done so, since he doesn't hold a public office.

"Needless to say," the spokesperson added, "that's going to change once Mr. Colbert moves into the White House."

For a special Colbert easter egg, check out Amazing Spider-Man #562, on sale today.

Secret Invasion #1

Reservations for a Running Mate?
Ken Ellis, DB Staff Reporter

When it comes to discussing running mates, Stephen Colbert's camp has proven tougher to crack than an adamantium briefcase. That may soon change, however. Over the past several days, wealthy Native American businessman Thomas Fireheart has accompanied the presidential aspirant's visits to Indian soil in New Mexico and South Dakota, respectively.

"I have absolutely no political aspirations whatsoever," the Fireheart Enterprises CEO emphatically told reporters Tuesday after joining Colbert in Kyle, outside the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation.

According to Fireheart, the TV populist first contacted him in late February. "He asked me to introduce him to several tribal leaders whom I have befriended over the years," he said. "I appreciated that Mr. Colbert wanted to discuss how his administration could provide adequate funding for Native Americans' health care, education and other programs. So I agreed to help."

Despite Fireheart's claims, Colbert's opponents are already firing accusatory arrows in his direction. Key advocates of Senator Gordon Wright's Third Wing Party noted a recent investigation of Fireheart regarding alleged federal bribery, and have maintained that the Colbert Report host is "associating himself with deceitful capitalists" like Fireheart and S.H.I.E.L.D. Director Anthony Stark. One Wright spokesperson even asserted that Colbert "is looking out for the rich, which ultimately means depriving the poor."

"Those are the words of craven, ignorant people who know only hate," Fireheart contended. "Mr. Colbert does not need my support — which, quite frankly, is probably why he has it."

Enough to join Colbert should he be elected into the White House this November? "Again, I have no interest in a world of donkeys and elephants," the billionaire businessman restated. "I'm a different kind of animal."

For a special Colbert easter egg, check out Secret Invasion #3, on sale today.

This week's images are from Ms. Marvel #27 and She-Hulk #29.

Previous Colbert easter eggs:

Incredible Hercules #117

X-Men: Legacy #211

Young X-Men #2

Amazing Spider-Man #556

She Hulk #28

Incredible Hercules #116

Amazing Spider-Man #556

Secret Invasion #1

Keeping His Norse Clean
Ken Ellis, DB Staff Reporter

En route to some pivotal politicking in New Mexico, Camp Colbert briefly diverted off Route 66 and into Oklahoma's heartland Monday. And in the middle of a very small-town gathering on a warm, sunny afternoon, Stephen Colbert was received by both men and gods.

"He was understandably in awe," explained a Colbert spokesperson. "I mean, how often does one rub elbows with mythical Norse gods that have basically deposited Asgard in the middle of the country? Still, he handled himself very well with the townspeople and Asgardians. It was a great day."

That much is true. In fact, within minutes of his arrival near Sam Miller's land — now recognized as the site of Asgard — Colbert seemed to make instant "BFFs" with a large, boisterous Asgardian called Volstagg. The two shared a hearty laugh while the presidential hopeful looked rather hopeless trying to wield the supersized warrior's weighty steel blade.

"Clearly, Mr. Colbert ain't cut out for sword-fighting," quipped Mayor Cletus before the receptive townsfolk. "But I'm sure he's got what's necessary to make this country a lot stronger."

Granted, Sen. Hillary Clinton won over the majority of Oklahoma's voters last February. Yet with neighboring New Mexico's primary less than three weeks away, Colbert's heartland visit Monday may earn him critical superdelegate support — support that, to this point, has been borderline about backing a candidate.

"[Colbert] seems very well-spoken about national and foreign issues," noted Beth Sooner, who runs the local boarding house, "but he looks much taller on TV. I guess if the cameras can add 20 pounds on a person, I reckon they can add a little bit of height, too."

For a special Colbert easter egg, check out X-Men: Legacy #211, on sale today.

This week's image is from Young X-Men #2.

Previous Colbert easter eggs:

Amazing Spider-Man #556

She Hulk #28

Incredible Hercules #116

Amazing Spider-Man #556

Secret Invasion #1