5:00 — Why didn't Oprah thank Trig? Why does Oprah hate Trig so much?

4:59 — Did you realize Sarah's kids were in the audience? They were. "Thank you, Piper," says Oprah as the applause rolls.

4:58 — Thanks to God and Todd. You betcha.

4:57 — "Should I be worried that you're going to get your own talk show?" Oprah asks. "You are the queen of talk shows," Sarah simpers back, then adds, "You can't shut off my mic." Um. What?

4:53 — SARAH JUST SAY IT. YOU ARE GOING TO RUN IN 2012. JUST SAY WHAT EVERYBODY KNOWS.

4:52 — "She's not retreating, she's reloading," that is how Sarah's father explains the resignation. In this metaphor Oprah is the helicopter and we are all wolves.

4:51 — Sarah had to resign because she was "being shackled behind a governor's desk." This is the new face of slavery in America.

4:49 — And Oprah still wants to know what were you thinking, Sarah, thinking you could be vice president when you have five children and no wife to take care of them? Sigh. Plus ca change, plus ca I want a martini.

4:48 — Sarah's still pissed that she didn't get to give a speech on election night.

4:46 — From Wombat, in the comments: "In five years when the world finds out that Sarah Palin has become a Democrat because she actually did research and found out that she agrees with the Party's treatment of women and children, I'm going to die laughing."

4:44 — I'd just like to take a moment to remind everyone that this lady could have been our vice president.

4:42 — Back with hot sweaty gym shots from Sarah's gym in Alaska! Mmm, step aerobics.

4:41 — We spent our commercial break being confused about Sarah's reference to Thanksgiving with "Aunt Katie." Is that a reference to the Perky One?

4:39 — Yeah, no, Levi can go stuff himself, if you know what I mean. I think that's what she was trying to say.

4:38 — Will Levi be invited to Thanksgiving dinner? Sarah's trying to get out of this one. Doesn't she know that trying to evade a question from Oprah is like a couch trying to evade Tom Cruise's feet?

4:35 — Sarah doesn't think national television is the place to talk about "some of the things Levi is doing." Sarah must not watch television, either.

4:34 — STOP. LEVI TIME.

4:30 – Jezebel thinks it's a wig.

4:28 — Okay, I wasn't gonna "go there," but fine: my nickname for Sarah Palin, today, is "The Poofy-Haired One." (Girlfriend, back away from the mousse.)

4:27 — "The Perky One." This is Sarah Palin's nickname for Katie Couric. I would love to know what Katie Couric's nickname for Sarah Palin is.

4:26 — Indecision's Darcy notes, rightly, that Sarah Palin still seems flustered by questions about her reading habits. Can she name some books and magazines she reads now? I guess she read Going Rogue when the ghostwriters gave it to her… she must've skimmed it, at least. It has lots of names she'd recognize.

4:23 — The whole problem with the Couric interviews, btw, was the way they were edited together. If you saw all those hours of unedited footage you would have a completely different opinion of Sarah Palin. More = always better.

4:22 — "I didn't do very well, I was annoyed with her badgering of questions," says Sarah re: CouricGate. Ugh, these interviewers, always with the questions, am I right?

4:18 — So, why'd McCain lose, Sarah? "Unfortunately, our ticket represented what was perceived as the status quo." Well, that's half true. Half the ticket was perceived as the status quo, the other half was perceived as… I'm gonna go with the stupid quo.

4:17 — "Weren't you told to stay on script?" asks Oprah. Yes, says Sarah, and that was puzzling.

4:15 — But hey, it's okay, because Sarah knows John McCain is "all about empowering women." Yep, just as long as they don't plaster on the makeup like a trollop.

4:14 — Sarah says the McCain campaign suggested she look into the Atkins diet. Seriously? Doesn't everyone know these low-carb things don't work?

4:13 — Show's back! So what do you think? Will Oprah make Sarah cry? Will Sarah make Oprah cry? Will this whole thing make me cry?

4:11 – An important note via Hillbuzz: "A word about Nielsen ratings.  Some of you are worried that watching Oprah today will boost her ratings.  What you need to remember is that this is only true if you are a Nielsen family." (What if you are a broken Nielsen family?)

4:10 – Dennis says: "This Jenny Craig commercial is the most distasteful thing so far." I agree! Also, I am eating a cheeseburger.

4:07 — What do you want to bet Sarah is lying about this D, anyway? It was probably a C minus.

4:06 – McCain's vetting team knew Bristol was preggers, but the only "skeleton in my closet" that Sarah was worried about was a D she got in college 22 years ago. Why has this scandal been covered up for 22 years? Also, which college is she talking about?

4:04 — Being vice president is "an executive administrative job," Sarah says. She was more than ready to "get in there" and do this "executive administrative job," because she knows how to use MS Word and Excel.

4:03 – Say, did you guys know Sarah Palin has a book out tomorrow? It's true! (The release date, not the book, necessarily.)

4:01 — Sarah Palin does not appear to be wearing an American flag pin on her lapel. Minus eleventy billion America points.

4:00 — Here we go! It's starting! "She is finally here," says Oprah!

3:57 — I know you people like these "drinking games," so here you go: We will drink every time Sarah Palin mentions guns, how much the McCain campaign kept her from being herself, and Trig. I expect to be wasted by 4:08 p.m. Eastern time.

Here's a sneak preview to whet your appetite. See you at 4 p.m. Monday!

Watch CBS News Videos Online

Update: The liveblog begins here at 4 pm / 3c.

9:15 – Welp, that was that. Obama's speech seemed like a good speech. It's a shame that we don't have a system of government in which good speeches will make crazy people stop talking loudly. Oh, well.

Oh, and my dad's friend. I guess his speech was okay, too. It was short. I like short.

9:11 – That was it? It's over? He didn't even give me a chance to start paying attention whatever he was saying.

9:10 – Oh! I know what's going on. This is one of those Jeff Dunham puppets!

9:09 – Very smart of the GOP try to match Obama's level of energy. This guy is on fire.

9:08 – Ugh. Who turned on the informercial show?

9:06 – Charles Boustany is talking now. Who's this guy again? He knows my dad, right?

9:05 – CNN is saying that some Republicans were waving things around during the speech. Apparently, they thought they were at the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

9:04 – What? Josef Stalin didn't get a shout out? What gives?

9:03 – From the comments: "His head seems to have grown by one tenth of one percent in the past half hour." – meredithQ

9:01 – From Wonkette: "Ted Kennedy. He died. Anyone who doesn't vote for my bill will be charged with murder."

8:59 – Hey, remember that guy Ted Kennedy? He was nice, right? So, wattaya say we pass this fucker, huh?

8:56 – From Wonkette: "ERIC CANTOR IS SEXTING!"

8:55 – When you think about it, that's only $90 billion a year. It's much more easily manageable to think of it that way. You know, take it a billion birds by a billion birds.

8:54 – $900 billion over ten years?! But how many dead Iraqis will this produce?

8:52 – Yay! The Republicans get their chance to stand and cheer. Everybody gets their chance! Yay!

8:50 – "I will protect Medicare." Just so long as he doesn't socialize it.

8:47 – I wanna speak directly to seniors for a minute. You are going down. Suck it, Grandma!

8:46 – "I will not sign a bill that adds one dime to our deficit. Either now or in the future." Oh, so this bill is going to be made out of magic. Nice! I like magic bills.

8:44 – To my Republican friends, I say, instead of just making a bunch of shit up, why not not just make a bunch of shit up? How about that?

8:42 – From a friend: "Does every woman in congress tell her kids, look for me I'll be the one wearing the fuschia pantsuit?"

8:41 - "Insurance companies don't do this because their bad people." Heavens no. They do it because you're bad people.

8:40 – Whomever it was, yelled "Lie!" Touche, asshole.

8:39 – There's a heckler on the Congress floor? What is that, an Insane Clown Posse concert?

8:38 – Death panels! He's talking about them! Yay, stupidity!

8:37 – I apologize for putting this in your head, but just try to pay attention to the rest of the speech with Joe Biden and Nancy Pelosi having their blinking contest in the background. She's winning.

8:34 – Andrew Sullivan: "He's fired up. This is the campaign Obama, appealing to the center against the old politics."

8:32 – "There's no reason we shouldn't be catching diseases like breast cancer"??!! Obama wants to give us all breast cancer!!! Someone get Michelle Malkin on the phone!!

8:30 – "Nothing in our plan requires you to change what you have." So, what? I don't have the right to wave my right to have the right to choose my coverage? Typical.

8:27 – The best ideas of both parties? The Democrats and the Socialists?

8:26 – From the comments: "I never understood all of the applause in these events… It's like they're TRYING to stop him from speaking." – NordicOten

8:25 – Our health care problem is our deficit problem? Really? I'm not an economy guy, but that sounds like a not true thing.

8:24 – What's this about us paying more taxes?! I'm against it!

8:22 – This speech is a bummer. All the characters in this speech die. Why is everyone clapping so hard?

8:20 – Dingell.

8:19 – "I'm not the first president to take up this cause, but I am determined to be the last." Is he really planning on screwing it up that hard?

8:18 – "I can say with confidence that we have pulled this economy back from the brink." If this were a movie, this is when a dead body would fall from the rafters.

8:17 – Wow. Our congress sure is good at clapping. No wonder they don't want to stop. It's the one thing at which they truly excel.

8:15 – Pay attention. That's the last round of applause the president will receive for the next four years unless he passes the health care bill. Also, the sun will bleed spiders. It's true.

8:10 – If you're not near a television, you can watch the speech live over here. And if you're not near a bunch of ducklings trapped in a pool, you can watch that over here.

8:07 – Hillary's in the room. And she's wearing the same colored dress as about twelve of the congresswomen. Is that on purpose? Is there some significance to salmon?

8:02 – Oh, look, here comes Michelle dressed up as a little french school girl. She can pull it off, I think. Only her and David Vitter.

8:00 - Death panels!!! Eldercide!!!!!! Wooooooooooo!!!!! Let's get this thing started!!!

9:14 – Wow that was a fun educational historic ENCHANTING night. Thank you so much for spending it with me. Oh, just for those of watching CNN, Obama just got a B+ on his speech. I guess his parents aren't talking him out to ice cream this week. If he doesn't watch it he is not going to get to keep that puppy. Good night!

9:12 – Bradley Dawson said in the comments, "[Obama] also does 'mkay like the school counselor on South Park. I'm just Sayin' does he have to do those pauses that way? Look it, I'm a supporter, a left of left. But it is just annoying, but funny too."

9:05 – A few minutes ago, I didn't think things could get more boring than that Q&A. CNN is proving me wrong.

9:02 – I give CNN's grading system an F, for fucking dumb.

9:00 – Obama kind of just up and quit the Q&A. He was speaking one second and the next he was like, bye, gonna watch Lie To Me on my DVR.

8:59 – Andrew Sullivan just said, "I'm beginning to regret watching this terribly dull and unnecessary pseudo-event." My internet was kind of wonky for a minute there. I think this speech made it fall asleep.

8:58 – Just because the Japanese could build a hybrid doesn't mean we can to. We still haven't figured out how to build an Astroboy.

8:53 – Talking Points Memo said, "How many Hundred Dayses are there in a presidency?" We just did the math; 4×365/ 100 = 14.6. You're welcome.

8:50 – Obama's real moment of feeling enchanted during his presidency was catching this on cable.

8:47 – Wonkette's liveblog just said, "'Enchanted.' Everyone is laughing because of how gay that is." And he talked about the military for that part. Is he planning to abolish don't ask, don't tell?

8:45 - John McCain really loves being mentioned in this speech. It basically makes up for that whole not being president thing.

8:41 – Darcy just said, "Enchanted? Being president is like being a Disney princess."

8:37 – So we just went from an abortion question to the softest of soft balls ever lobbed in the history of soft balls. "How has the presidency been great for you?"

8:35 – Obama doesn't have crystal balls. He has balls of flesh and whatever else balls are made of (semen?).

8:34 – Translation: "They picked me, bitches. Get over it and stop being big babies."

8:31 - Obama reaching out to his republican friends has been genuine. The fact that he has republican friends, not as genuine.

8:30 – Arlen Specter's party affiliation isn't the only thing that's huge about him. I'm not talking about his penis. I'm talking about his opportunism. It's huuuuuge.

8:27 - Lifetime Channel is having a Golden Girls marathon. Just thought I'd let the world know.

8:24 – Chuck Todd is moving to Pakistan? Okay, see ya later!

8:23 – Lets discuss how putting a human being on a board, tying them down, and POURING WATER ON THEIR FACE SO THEY ALMOST DROWN is torture for a few more minutes. Please reporters, keep asking this question because this isn't obviously completely and totally torture.

8:20 – Darcy just said, "aw, snap! he pwned churchill!"

8:17 – Wow, he's making up for a short speech with really long answers. Just because its the 100 day speech doesn't mean it has to last 100 days.

8:14 – Obama wants to get the US out of the auto industry as soon as possible. Is he plugging a future going out of business sale?

8:12 – CNN just asked, "should we close our border with Mexico?" in their bottom thirds text. Yeah, we'll  get right on that right after we stop getting cheap lead toys from China.

8:10 – According to Obama, I should treat swine flu like I treat other flu outbreaks. Okay, so I should call in sick to work and then go see 17 Again. Got it.

8:08 - He had 100 days to write this. What was he doing? Trying to president?

8:07 – Was that it? That was his big 100 days celebration speech? He didn't say hope or change once.

8:06 – We haven't built our economy on a pile of sand. We built it on a pile of invisible, imaginary sand. Real sand is much too valuable and tangible. Get it right, Obama!

8:03 - Called it! Knew he was gonna talk about swine flu. It's nice to see an established performer opening with some new material.

8:00 – It's starting now! I hope he talks about swine flu, because I haven't heard enough on that yet.

7:55 – Watching cable news waiting for the speech, my mind began to wander thinking about the complicated subject of torture. I don't mean waterboarding. I mean watching cable news.

Well, for the past few months President Obama's been embarking on this boring project (running our nation) and hasn't given us one of his kickass speeches about "we being the ones we've been waiting for" or whatever.

But now he's back, for one night only, and all the major networks, except Fox (when you add explosions or fart sounds to your speech, they'll pick up your phone calls, Mr. President), are airing his speechstravaganza, and I'm going to liveblog it!

That's right. As Obama speechifies about the economy and his big fancy-pants milestone, I'm going to speak truth to power, commenting on how a crowd member's head looks weird, and guessing how many times I think Obama silently farted during his speech. You know, important stuff.

Obama's speech as well as the liveblog starts at 8:00pm/7:00c. Please be there. I'm pretty certain that if people don't constantly read my thoughts, I will cease to exist.

UPDATE: I'm liveblogging here!

10:09 – I wanted to see Obama drop the microphone on the ground and walk out of the room with his hands above his head. I think that's what he should have done. He could have always come back for an encore or something.

10:07 – That other guy next to Michelle looks like something bad happened to him. I'm pretty curious to see when he gets called on. – Darcy Savit

10:05 – That little girl is the new Joe the Plumber! Somebody get her a country music contract! Ask her how to fix the economy!

10:04 – Wait, what? A $60 million bonus? I couldn't understand anything after that!

10:00 – Obama just said the U.S. doesn't torture. See! I knew he would turn out to be a liar!

9:59 – Obama likes the troops? But, but, but… He's a liberal! What gives?!

9:58 – Poor McCain. It's quite a work out he's getting tonight.

9:57 – A deficit of trust? I think it'll take more than eight years to make that back.

9:53 – Here's that top 2 percent tax stuff again. But what about all those poor rich plumbers out there?

9:52 – We have a responsibility to not pass on to our kids a debt we can't pay? Well, I think we just fucked that up.

9:50 – Teddy Kennedy got a standing O. That's like milking applause from an audience by naming the town you're playing in. Obama's just trying to see how many he can rack up at this point.

9:49 – So, if I quit school now, it makes me an enemy of the state?

9:47 – From the comments: "Wow, I really thought I'd be able to masturbate to this speech. I'm starting to think maaayyyybe I as wrong." – Paul Frank

9:45 – Can some of the Stimulus Package go to buying a seat belt for Nancy Pelosi's chair?

9:44 – Did Obama just tell us that he has cancer?

9:43 – Come on, Nancy Pelosi! Let somebody else start a standing ovation. I don't recall her being quite so energetic during the last few SOTUs.

9:42 – This is America. We don't do what's easy. We do what celebrities tell us to do.

9:41 – Jesus god, Joe Biden LOVES renewable energy!

9:40 – From the comments: "What the fuck does Obama have against drapes? I like drapes. The days of drapes are not over for me!" – Cube

9:38 – Energy, Health Care and Education. That's somehow just not as sexy as Torture, Ass Kicking and Blowin' Shit Up.

9:36 – And cut those weird fucking strings off her jacket someone, please!

9:34 – Couldn't Nancy Pelosi have left that poetry chapbook at home? This isn't the time, and it doesn't make her look cool. She just looks pretentious.

9:33 – Yeah! Fuck banks! Let's go kill some money!

9:32 – Senate aides shouldn't let Joe Lieberman get at the sour balls before he's gonna be on TV.

9:30 – Did you see how fast Nancy Pelosi jumped up on her feet when Obama started ripping on rich people?!

9:29 – Uh oh. Business loans for small business people. Sounds like Socialism to me. Somewhere, Joe the Plumber must be crying a tear into his six-pack.

9:28 – Can't we all just get a'loan? Can't we all just get a'loan?

9:27 – From the comments: "MSNBC is tracking Obama and McCain voters. I believe the election is over…am I wrong?: – Waleri

9:26 – Nobody messes with Joe? Is that true? Or is that like what you say to the retarded kid on your block to make him feel good so he doesn't throw his broom at you again?

9:22 – And, look, Joe Biden's palying with his iTouch. Someone should have turned the wifi off in there.

9:21 – Chris Dodd is already zoning out.

9:19 – So, lemme get this straight. Obama's predicting that we're gonna come back from the economic collapse thing? That's a strong position. Can't say I'd make such a prediction.

9:17 – Brave move on Michelle's part going sleeveless for the State of the Union. I guess. I don't know. What the fuck do I know about fashion.

9:11 – Here comes President Obama. I was hoping he'd come of to "Sweet Child O' Mine."

9:06 – Oh, maybe Rahm Emanuel laid hands upon her.

9:03 - Hey, look. It's Justice Ginsburg! I guess Sen. Jim Bunning's rumor of her demise has not become a reality.

9:01 - Hi, are you there? Is this thing on?

Today marks one month that Barack Obama has been President of the United States and, to hear the Republicans tell it, it's been a pretty miserable month…

A Disappointing Month: Obama’s first month has been marked by wasteful spending, failed bipartisanship, and questionable ethics.

And they clearly have nothing to gain from such a characterization. Lord knows, they've been striving for bipartisanship. So, should we maybe start with the impeachment proceedings already?

Well, maybe not. Sure, Obama's only got a scant 47 more months to go in this term, but maybe he can pull himself out of this nose dive.

Let's see what he has to say in the not-quite-official State of the Union Address he's got planned for Tuesday, February 24th at 9 pm.

I mean, what the hell, I'll be liveblogging something at that time anyway. I was probably gonna liveblog my bookshelf, but Obama's speech will probably be more interesting, don't you think?

So, if you want, come and join me right here, and we'll see what this miserable failure has to say.

This morning, 52-year-old Democratic politician Rod Blagojevich woke up as the nation's most entertaining governors.

Tonight, he'll go to bed as only one of a dozen or so most entertaining disgraced former-politicians.

The Illinois state senate voted 59 to 0 today to both fire him as governor and disallow him from ever holding office in Illinois ever again.

Our liveblog of the senate hearing is here.

5:58 – 59.7 to 0. Unanimous again. That guy is not popular in his state.

5:56 – Sen. James Meeks voted absolutely instead of yes. That might count for 1.7 yeses.

5:54 – Now they're voting on that. All yeses so far.

5:51 – The final tally is 59 to 0. It's now officially official. He's been convicted of impeachment. And they're motioning to keep him from ever holding office in Illinois again.

5:43 – It unanimous. The entirety of present Illinois state senators has voted to fire Governor Rod Blagojevich.

5:42 – They have the votes. He's out of there.

5:40 – They're finally voting. 35 senators have voted so far, and not a single one of them has voted in Blagojevich's favor.

————-

4:05 – I'm giving up on following each one of these guys' remarks. I'll be back when something interesting happens.

4:04 – This guy is currently in Obama's old state senate seat. How often do you think he tells people that at parties?

4:01 – Kwame Raoul (Dem). Does everybody get to speak? Or do you have to request an opportunity to speak to the choir?

3:59 – Tim Bivens (Rep) — who looks different since his days in Bell Biv Devoe — is up now. Guess what. He's not on Blagojevich's side. Crazy, huh?

3:57 – Dan Cronin (Rep) is up now. They're not even saying anything anymore. It's just a pile-on.

3:54 – Soon-to-be-Governor Patrick Quinn is, even now, waiting in the wings…

The Bible is ready. The oath has been prepared. The lieutenant governor and his family are on their way to Springfield. And the current governor's belongings are boxed up and waiting to be picked up at the Executive Mansion…

If the Illinois Senate votes to remove Blagojevich from office, [Lt. Gov. Patrick] Quinn will immediately head with his mother, sons and supporters to the state House chamber and place his hand on a Bible while his longtime friend, Supreme Court Justice Anne Burke, will administer an oath of office prepared by Attorney General Lisa Madigan.

Shouldn't be too long now.

3:51 – Hey, shut the fuck up! William Delgado (Dem) is fuckin' talkin' over hee-yah!

3:49 – Jesus! Lauzen has obviously discovered some online quotation databases.

3:48 – It's weird to think that if this were five years ago, Barack Obama would be in that room. Which, of course, would create a time paradox since this whole thing started with Obama's U.S. Senate seat being sold.

3:46 – Lots of shout outs from Chris Lauzen (Rep). I guess this is the one time the country cares what he says.

3:43 – Here's rookie senator Dan Duffy (Rep). He's only been in session for a month. He wasn't even around for any of this stuff and he's dumping all over Blagojevich. Is anybody going to say anything good about the governor?

3:42 – "Bleeping golden"? I didn't know he said that. I thought he just said "fucking golden." Man, this is bad.

3:39 – This, I think, is Matt Murphy (Rep) complimenting Blagojevich on his lying prowess.

3:38 – Dillard went over his time limit. I think that means that all his remarks must be ignored.

3:32 – Kirk Dillard (Rep) is up now. He's talking about Paul Simon and Adlai Stevenson. (I think he means Art Garfunkel. It's an easy mistake.)

3:30 – Good ol' Tony Rezko. Why did I not guess that his name would make an appearance?

3:29 – Sen. Dale Righter (Rep) is up now. "We heard a spellbinding performance today on the floor of this senate." Ah, he's just trying to get a pull-quote on the poster.

3:24 – So, Haine is obviously not on Rod Blagojevich's side. The phrase "arrogant assumption of power" is what tipped me off.

3:23 – Uh oh. Looks like there's gonna be more talking. Senator William Haine (Dem) is speaking now, but not saying anything.

3:22 – Stuff is happening! Legal stuff! I'm confused.

3:20 – And we're back.

————-

2:18 – What's this? Another hour-long caucus?! These people do not know how to put on a show.

2:17 – Being governor of Illinois isn't a Constitutional right? Well, there goes my case. I guess I'll never be governor now.

2:14 – Look at this guy. He's reading from notes that were planned out in advance and aren't being beamed into his brain by some satellite in the sky. He just doesn't get it.

2:12 – This guy surely is no Rod Blagojevich. I can understand pretty much everything he's saying. How's this supposed to entertain me?

2:09 – Senator Whatshisname is giving his closing arguments now. Watch it live.

————

12:54 – Well, the senate is going to go caucus with itself. I suppose I should caucus with myself as well.

We'll catch up on this a little later on today.

12:53 – He's gone. Just like that. Out of our lives.

My god, what have we done? What… have… we… done?

12:52 – What?! That's it?!

12:50 – It's painful to drive in a car and see a person who probably voted for you and think to yourself that you didn't do anything wrong and know that these are difficult times and about a documentary you watched last night about giant sea turtles and a commercial that came on.

12:49 – From the comments: "So, when does he start screaming "You're out of order, This whole court is out of order!" etc…" – rheimbro

12:46 – We have another 45 minutes of this rambling nonsense. He's not even using notes. He's just vomiting 90 minutes worth of bullshit onto the senate floor.

This is amazing!

12:45 – Think about the dangerous precedent that would be set if a governor were impeached solely for trying to give people flu shots and caring about things and stuff.

12:44 – Oh, I thought the subway train was gonna take that working mom to a place where they beat you or something. And then she could go home and eat a brick. Made of poison.

12:42 – "I hope he just breaks into some kind of fifties dance moves in a minute." – Darcy S.

I think that might actually happen.

12:40 – At the end of this elaborate performance, the senators might actually be sufficiently confused and mesmerized to not fire him. Hell, they might actually vote in favor of candy rocketship goats. Who knows?

12:39 – His dad was a refugee from a communist country? And his mom passed out tickets? How can they possibly still consider firing a guy with parents like that?

12:36 – Darcy makes a good point. He's like a crazy, cheating boyfriend saying "Baby, I love you. I never did anything to hurt you. It's not like you think it is." When you both know that it's exactly like you think it is.

12:35 – Yeah, they've had some ups and downs. An "up" was like when they did those public works programs in place. And a "down" might have been when he attempted to sell a U.S. senate seat for his own personal gain. You have to weigh those things against one another.

12:33 – I can't keep up with the crazy.

12:29 – Political scientists will spend decades studying this speech, trying to decode it for secret gnostic messages. Like the last words of Dutch Schultz.

12:27 – Yeah, let's impeach John McCain, Ted Kennedy, Rahm Emanuel and everyone who ever was vaguely in favor of flu vaccinations! (This is gonna win him so points in D.C.)

12:26 – From a friend: "How can you throw a governor out of office who only knows senators named John?" – Dave B.

12:20 – This is horrible! They're impeaching this guy solely because he tried to save elderly people and infants from getting the flu! That's the only reason. His only sin is caring too much. How can you throw a governor out of office for caring too much?

12:19 – From the comments: "Can we bet the famous people he cites to? I'd like a trifecta box of Tennison, Ghandi, and Judy Blume." – Cube

Good idea. I'll take Thomas Jefferson, James Joyce and Beyonce.

12:17 – He shouldn't be fired because once he got coffee for John McCain or Elizabeth Taylor or someone. It's almost impossible to keep up with him.

12:14 – If you're following along online, I'd suggest watching MSNBC's feed. Just realized CNN was running about a half-minute late. Do you have any idea how much crazy I missed in that 30 seconds?

12:10 – A friend just sent me this: "I wish he was wearing a coat full of puppies." – Cheryl C.

12:09 – Okay, we get the point. He wanted the chance to present witnesses. Is that what he's going to keeping saying for 90 minutes?

12:08 – He wanted to bring in witnesses like Rahm Emanuel, Harry Reid, Benjamin Franklin, Lord Vishnu and Dick Tracy. People who could have cleared his name. What's wrong with that?

12:06 – I never thought I'd ever be this excited to see a governor start talking.

12:04 – Everyone just shut up. Senate is back in session. Blagojevich should be walking onto the floor any moment now.

11:45 – "The people of this state deserve so much more… (long thoughtful pause)… The governor should be removed from office… (general silence)."

Wow. That was like something out of a movie.

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Never let it never be said that the Illinois senate has never done anything for you.

Today — this very afternoon at 12pm (EST) — they will be giving their governor, Rod Balgojevich, 90 minutes of public time in which to tell lonesome cowboy stories, recite Irish poetry, explain String Theory, compile random consonants and vowels into some kind of alien-sounding tongue, whatever.

Whatever!

Can you believe it!? An hour and a half to do whatever he wants!

We'll be liveblogging it (because, how can we not) and we'll get the video embedded here and/or send you to where you can watch it at your work desk.

This is gonna be awesome!

Update: CSPAN already has a live feed up from the senate floor in Springfield. Not incredibly exciting stuff so far, but it's like a rollercoaster slowly climbing up the rail. A crazy rollercoaster.

Update 2: If you prefer, here's a link to CNN's live coverage, which is a little cleaner, but you may need to download a flash update.

Blagojevich won't be speaking for another 40 minutes or so, but it's already incredibly entertaining. They're catching you up on everything the governor has done to get himself into this situation.

Update 3: Here's it is again, embedded on Indecision (via MSNBC), if you prefer that for some reason. We'll start liveblogging at when the governor begins speaking at around noon.