I don't know about you, but on a beautiful day like today, I really enjoy lying in the grass, staring up into the clouds and wondering What if…

But, since I've got a job, I usually just end up reading bullshit unfounded speculation on the Internet instead…

[If John Edwards had not run for president] Could Hillary Clinton have grabbed Edwards' loyalists and won early, stage-setting contests in Iowa, where Barack Obama emerged as a contender with a stunning win, or later, in the South Carolina primary?

Yes, says Mark Penn, Clinton's close campaign adviser and pollster. Penn has asserted that without Edwards on the ballot, voters would have taken a "fresh look" at Clinton.

Well, if Mark Penn says it, it must be true. Why, he's never proven himself to be wrong-headed, duplicitous or willfully ignorant before. That guy is a straight shooter if ever I did see one.

But, just for the sake of adding length to this post, let's see what somebody who knows what he's talking about has to say. What does Mark Blumenthal from Pollster.com have to say about it?

Mark Blumenthal from Pollster.com: "The most compelling evidence concerns where Edwards' support might have gone, had he withdrawn once the campaign had gotten under way in early 2007: polls showing that Edwards supporters preferred Obama to Clinton as their second choice in Iowa (as early as May 2007) and in New Hampshire (a few days before the primary)…

"Edwards started the race as the leading candidate in Iowa. Had Edwards withdrawn in late 2006, others who were considering the race at about that time — Tom Vilsack, Evan Bayh, Mark Warner — might have gotten in."

Yeah. Edwards' campaign was the only thing standing between Evan Bayh and the White House.

He must be very bitter.

As 2008 draws to a close, we thought it appropriate to run Gladstone's year-end round-up of the the eight most important Jews in American politics of the past year, that he'd originally written to celebrate American Jewishyishness and the eight nights of Hanukkah.

If you missed it the first eight times, here's your chance to catch up…

Read more »

Mark Penn

Ask any racist and they will tell you: Jews are smart, crafty, and good with money.

Well, in 2008, the Jewish community took its hat off to Mark Penn, Hillary Clinton's campaign strategist, for shattering those anti-Semitic stereotypes. As no one can dispute, Penn's handling of the Clinton campaign was just abysmal.

Smart? Some claim that Penn was unaware that delegates in primaries are not awarded in a winner take all fashion. Crafty? Penn predicted that a big win for Clinton in large states would lead to a decisive Super Tuesday victory. Good with money? Hillary Clinton finally abandoned her campaign millions of dollars in debt.

No doubt, Hillary's decision to team up with Penn will go down as the most disastrously messy Clinton/Jew collaboration since Bill stained up Lewinsky's dress.

Go back to the fifth night.

I know the Wall Street Journal is basically The New York Post with more boring graphics, but I'm still a little stunned that 2008 isn't even over yet and someone has paid for Mark Penn's thoughts. And no, it's not his thoughts on the perfect cheeseburger or the best way to avoid the sun. It's the damn economy.

If the post-war economic expansion brought us the baby boom, this crisis may bring us a baby squeeze — a sharp reduction in births nine months from now, as refraining from having kids is the ultimate consumer pull-back. And instead of staying home, the evidence shows that more couples are going to the movies, with attendance up for this relatively low-cost evening.

People don't talk much about their mattress-stuffing behavior. It kind of defeats the purpose if you tell people where your stash is. But there's a hunger out there for security hedges — a gun, some cash, a little gold, a small safe in the bedroom — in case all the ATMs suddenly shut down. The TV shopping channels could be hawking that "Safe Haven" combination right now, a complete home solution.

Huh? Beats me. But he must know what he's talking about, right? Just ask President-elect Hillary Clinton.

Remember during the primaries when Mark Penn said Barack Obama was unelectable? No you don't!

Mark Penn told the Independent in England that he did not write in internal Hillary campaign memos that Barack Obama was unelectable. "Huh. No. It doesn't say that at all," Penn said. For the record, Penn wrote: "The right knows Obama is unelectable, except perhaps against Attila the Hun."

Oh man. I totally know how Mark Penn feels. For example, I never called Mark Penn a big flaccid wiener that one time I called Mark Penn a big flaccid wiener.

I also didn't call Mark Penn a big flaccid wiener that other time I called Mark Penn a big flaccid wiener.

What is it with you people thinking me calling Mark Penn a big flaccid wiener is reason to believe I've ever called Mark Penn a big flaccid wiener?

Unsure of who wrote the playbook for John McCain's increasingly negative campaign against Barack Obama? Well have you considered former Hillary Clinton strategist Mark Penn?

According to the upcoming issue of The Atlantic, Penn was pushing Clinton as far back as March 2007 to raise public doubts on Obama's "roots to basic American values and culture." Regarding Obama's virtues as a multicultural candidate, Penn opined, "Save it for 2050," adding…

"I cannot imagine America electing a president during a time of war who is not at his center fundamentally American in his thinking and in his values."

Sounds like Penn had been receiving e-mails intended for somebody's Jewish grandmother in South Florida. Or maybe he was the one sending them. Who knows.

And what's more American than stirring up racial tensions?

"If you believe that serious issues need to be raised then we have to raise them without continual hesitation and we should be pushing the envelope. Won't a single tape of [the Reverend Jeremiah] Wright going off on America with Obama sitting there be a game ender?

"Many people… believe under the surface that 20 years sitting there with Goddamn America would make him unelectable by itself."

It might very well have been a "game ender," but such a tape never showed up.

However, having no strategy past New Hampshire, blowing through money like MC Hammer and openly courting the George Wallace wing of the Democratic Party seemed to do the trick quite nicely.