Today the beleagured Republican National Committee elects its new chairman, so last night GOP leaders gathered for a little group therapy…

The party’s outlook is grim, Kentucky Sen. Mitch McConnell implored, as he rolled off figure after figure of demographic groups Republicans lost badly in 2008, particularly blacks and Hispanics.

He lamented that the party is increasingly becoming a "regional party."

"That’s called a minority party," the Senate Minority Leader said, "and I didn’t sign up to be in the minority party."

Chairman hopeful Mike Duncan, for one, is confident the GOP can chip its way out of this lily-white sand trap…

Duncan defended the RNC, saying it has "50,000" on their "social network" (presumably, he means Facebook) — more than the Democrats, he contended.

Almost immediately after Duncan finished trying to convince the members of the party’s hip, social networking prowess, the lights in the room went out. The Republicans, literally, were in the dark.

It's funny because it's true! Know what else is true? Here's the RNC on Facebook: 52,991 members. DNC on Facebook: 35,197 members.

So when we start choosing our government by tallying Facebook popularity instead of votes, which should be any day now, the Republicans can stop pretending to care about blacks, Hispanics, women, Jews, Arab Americans, poor people, residents of New Orleans, etc., and get to work on issues that really matter to their constituents.

Like SuperPoking.

What's it take to be the chairman of the Republican National Committee?

You've got to know how to speak to your audience, as we learned from yesterday's RNC chair debate between unhopefuls Michael Steele, Saul Anuzis, Mike Duncan, Ken Blackwell, Katon Dawson and Chip "The Magic Honky" Saltsman…

"Ronald Reagan…" "Ronald Reagan…" "Ronald Reagan…" "Ronald Reagan…" "Ronald Reagan…" "Ronald Reagan…" "Ronald Reagan…" "Ronald Reagan…" "Reagan Democrats…" "Ronald Reagan…" "Ronald Reagan…" "Ronald Reagan…" "Ronald Reagan…" "Twitter…"

Nothing particularly interesting to see– Wait, whaaat?! Twitter?! Was that some sort of mispronunciation of the 40th president's stupid nickname?

Actually, no. At some point, the debate took a bizarre turn to delve into how in the world the Republican Party can possibly begin to win back some of the youth vote that left them decades ago.

And, of course — excluding the notions of focusing on issues that concern young people or acknowledging changes views of the world since 1954 — there really is only one solution…

"We have to do it in the Facebook, with the Twittering, the different technology that young people are using today," Duncan ventured.

"Let me just say that I have 4,000 friends on Facebook," contributed Blackwell, putting his hand on Dawson's and Anuzis's knees. "That's probably more than these two guys put together, but who's counting, you know?" Acknowledged Saltsman: "I'm not sure all of us combined Twitter as much as Saul."

Anuzis claimed he had "somewhere between 2- and 3,000" Facebook friends, which prompted Blackwell to remind the audience that he has 4,000 friends on the social networking site by waving four fingers behind Anuzis's head.

That's it! They cracked the case! Now that some old guy in a suit has a guy on his staff who set him up to play Scrabulous, the Democrats will no longer hold any more sway over the ever-more-liberal electorate. Everyone's back to equal ground.

And if that doesn't work…

Duncan claimed four handguns and two rifles, Anuzis boasted of two, and Blackwell replied: "Seven — and I'm good."

"In my closet at home," replied Saltsman, "I've got two 12-gauges, a 20-gauge, three handguns and a .30-06. And I'll take you on anytime, Ken."

Whoa. If they're willing to shoot each other for the chance to be RNC chair, just imagine what they'll do to Obama in 2012.

(via The Plank)

Tennessean Chip Saltsman, who's angling to be chair of the Republican National Committee, decided to make an impression on party officials by mailing them a present: a comedy CD (or "comedy" CD) that includes a little ditty called "Barack the Magic Negro."

And oh, what an impression he made…

"I am shocked and appalled," Mike Duncan, the current party chairman, said in a statement released Saturday. Mr. Duncan is competing for a second term against Mr. Saltsman and four others.

"This is so inappropriate that it should disqualify any Republican National Committee candidate who would use it," Newt Gingrich, a Republican former House speaker, said in an e-mail message.

I never thought I'd say this, but Newt Gingrich is right.

It is terribly inappropriate for a political leader to circulate a song that's secretly about drugs.