But did you have to kill him?

The mayor of Mississippi's largest city [Jackson's Mayor Frank Melton] died early Thursday, less than two days after losing a primary re-election bid overshadowed by federal prosecution efforts to convict him in a 2007 sledgehammer raid on an alleged crackhouse. He was 60…

Unofficial results show Melton came in third of nine candidates.

Why is "Death" even an option on the voting ballot?

And what happened to the guy who came in ninth place?

I guarantee you won't see this getting picked up by the mainstream media. Goddamn liberal atheists!

(Videogum)

A half-dozen Republican governors are considering turning down some money from the federal stimulus package, a move opponents say puts conservative ideology ahead of the needs of constituents struggling with foreclosures and unemployment.

Hmmmm… I wonder which governors are considering this grandiose stand against socialism. Looks like they include Louisiana's Bobby Jindal, Alaska's Sarah Palin and South Carolina's Mark Sanford. What do those people all have in common? Jeeze, I just can't put my finger on it…

But Representative James Clyburn of South Carolina, the No. 3 House Democrat, said the governors — some of whom may be considering White House bids in 2012 — are putting their own interests ahead of the public interest.

Oh yeah. That's right. The White House. But at least all these governors have the courage of their convictions and will sacrifice their political futures if the stimulus package does end up working, right?

Governors who reject some of the stimulus aid may find themselves overridden by their own legislatures because of language Clyburn included in the bill that allows lawmakers to accept the federal money even if their governors object.

He inserted the provision based on the early and vocal opposition to the stimulus plan by South Carolina's Republican governor, Mark Sanford. But it also means governors including Sanford and Louisiana's Bobby Jindal can burnish their conservative credentials, knowing all the while that their legislatures can accept the money anyway.

Well, at any rate, it looks tough. And that's what really counts.

It's an ugly little open secret that Arkansas, Maryland, Mississippi, North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas have constitutions that explicitly forbid atheists from holding state office. These laws are archaic and unenforceable in principle — they were all ruled unconstitutional in 1961…

Now, though, a representative in Arkansas has submitted a bill to amend the Arkansas constitution and remove the prohibition of atheists.

Can you believe the nerve of Richard Carroll, the guy who submitted this bill? Throwing his hat in with the godless unbelievers. In direct defiance of the defiance of the 1st Amendment?! And in Mike Huckabee's back yard, no less! I never thought I'd see the day.

Can't we just have one small little section of the country where reasonable can go to not be reasonable? Just one?

No comment.

(via DFTCW)

Unfortunately, their plan for those 60 seats has a picked up a little too much Joementum along the way.  The Dems were counting on picking up at least one Senate seat in the South – either in Mississippi, Georgia, or Kentucky.

It's looking like that Southern Strategy isn't going to work out . . .

* Republican minority leader Mitch McConnell has apparently held off a very strong challenge from Democrat Bruce Lunsford, winning by just a couple percentage points.

* In Mississippi, recently appointed Republican incumbent Roger Wicker looks almost certain to defeat former Democratic Governor Ronnie Musgrove.

* Georgia is still undecided . . . incumbent Republican Saxby Chambliss leads, but the results from the Democratic stronghold of Atlanta are still trickling in.

Watch this space for more updates as the evening proceeds . . .

Energy level pretty low over there at the Fox News bunker…

That's right, I'm looking at you, Mississippi! Seems that due to Senator Trent Lott's disgraceful mid-term retirement, there are two match-ups in the state:

* Incumbent Republican Sen. Thad Cochran vs. Democratic State Rep. Erik Fleming. With a name like Thad Cochran, you can't lose in Mississippi.

* Recently appointed incumbent Republican Roger Wicker vs. former Governor Ronnie Musgrove. This one will be much closer and could be the deciding factor in whether or not the Democrats reach 60 votes in the Senate tonight. Watch for the returns from De Soto County, now proudly under a state of emergency in anticipation of election-inspired race riots.

By the way, today is also Two-Fer Tuesday in Wyoming, where both Senate seats are up this year. That means that all four Wyoming residents are currently Senate candidates.

10:39 – Alright, kids. It's a madhouse in here, and I've been jammed in a corner away from the bathroom for hours. So, I gotta go do that and smoke and get idiotically drunk.

But please do keep up the conversation in the comments.

10:37 – Oh, and apparently we solved that whole POW/MIA issue. Someone should tell the bikers down the street from me.

10:36 – John McCain was in prison???!!! That's news to me!

10:33 – That's adorable. John McCain loves the vets and will take care of them. I wish I had a president who'd do that for me.

I'm so lonely.

10:29 – From the comments: "'We can't drill our way out of the problem' – That's not what she said." – (Rebekah)

10:28 – Wait, Obama hassss it too. Maybe it'ssss our sssssound ssssysssstem.

10:27 – McCain gets a little bit of a whistle in his S's when he talks about 9/11, doesn't he?

10:25 – Barack Obama is in favor of nuclear waste. Good for him.

10:24 – John McCain can say "nuclear." I think that makes him a snob.

10:22 – McCain's not wearing a flag pin. Why does he hate America? – Scout Finch

10:19 – By the way, Katie is also liveblogging this here. But make sure to tip your bartender.

10:17 – Stealing from Scout again. So, McCain's really fond of saying how he's known Kissinger for 135 years. We understand. You've been in Washington a loooooong time.

10:15 – Oh my! Here comes McCain's temper. Under your desks everyone.

10:13 – The average South Korean is three-inches tall?

10:12 – Oh no he didn't! Obama brought up Spain, girlfriend.

And then McCain pulls out the seal comment.

It's on!

10:09 – McCain is coming up with a rider of things he'll need in trailer if he's gonna meet with Iran. What do you think he'll be adding? Green M&Ms? A poster of Tina Fey?

(Credit where credit is due. I stole that from Scout.)

10:08 – McCain can't say Achmadentdslkjdkdijad's name? What's up with that?

10:07 – McCain is bold. He just came out strongly against a second holocaust. Good for him! – MK

10:03 – Iran is an existential threat to Israel. Just like Sartre.

10:01 – This whole debate has come down to who was given a more valuable piece of jewelry? And I'm hearing a lot of talk about bracelets, but neither man seems to actually be WEARING a bracelet. – MK

9:58 – "I'm such a Maverick, I voted AGAINST Reagan!" – MK

9:57 – McCain said "Ronald Reagan"! At the 57-minute mark. Someone just won a bunch of money.

9:55 – McCain promises he'll never publicly say he'd invade Pakistan. Well, unless it was through song.

9:54 – So, Barack Obama can't say we'll invade Pakistan, but Sarah Palin can? I'm sorry, but that's just sexist.

9:52 - I can't decide if they both have become better debaters since the primaries, or if they look better because I'm comparing them to each other and they are both crappy. – Michael Kraskin

9:48 – So, I'm sitting next to Katie Halper, Scout Finch and a Sarah Palin-esque-looking New York Times reporter.

Damn it! It's times like this when I wish I was attractive or charming. Or funny.

9:45 – My opinion may be greatly skewed by the crowd noises here, but from what I'm hearing (and kinda seeing) it sounds like Obama is playingcalm and McCain is playing continual catch-up.

9:44 – The crowd likes the "You like to pretend that the war started in 2007" line. Just sayin'.

9:41 – Michael Kraskin brings up and excellent point. One of the rules of this debate is that the audience is not allowed to cheer or boo or applaud or make facial expressions.

Sitting here in this room — where the audience explodes every time Obama utters an utterence — I can't even imagine what that's like.

9:40 – McCain really is obsessed with owning an Iraq Forever themepark, isn't he?

9:38 – Is John McCain really allowed to call himself a "maverick"? Isn't that like me calling myself "handsome"? That's not really my judgment call to make.

9:37 - Barack Obama said "orgy"! It's been legitimized finally!

We're all gonna get laid.

9:34 – It's interesting that Lehrer is treating this more as an open dialogue, not really directing questions to either one in particular

9:32 – Obama said "McCain calls me wildly liberal, that just means I'm opposing George Bush." Excellent line.

9:29 – I'm having a million tons of fun here, but I'm gonna have to go back and re-watchg this thing. Please tell me what my opinions should be in the comments.

9:24 – Sorry. Just got on a better internet signal. I'm back.

BTW, I love the word "festooned." Good for you, McCain.

9:15 – How many times is John McCain gonna use that "paternal issue" bear joke? What is he a stand-up comedian touring the late night talk shows?

9:12 – The crowd keeps laughing uproariously every time Jim Lehrer says anything. Oh, by the way, if I stand up and crane my neck just the right way, I can kind of see Barack Obama's ear.

9:11 – "Greed is rewarded." What is he, Gordon Gecko?

9:07 – Aw! John McCain's not feeling to well about some things these days. I wonder what those things are. The polls? His running mate? His skin?

9:06 – Ted Kennedy's in the hospital?

9:05 – I may have to watch this thing online. Crazy.

9:03 – Holy God! It's insanely crowded here at Drinking Liberally. At this point, I can't even see the TV.

And the crowd is intense! It's like being at an Eagles game. But slightly less violent.

If you're in New York — or the New York area or have access to one of John McCain's flying carpets — and you're looking for a nice quiet place to watch tonight's debate (assuming isn't called away on urgent inter-dimensional business at the last minute), then you definitely don't want to show up to Drinking Liberally's Presidential Debate Watch at The Tank in lower Manhattan (87 Lafayette St. between Walker and White).

That's where I'm gonna be liveblogging from, and I liveblog very loudly. And sometimes shirtless. And you don't wanna see that.

However, if you choose not to heed my warnings and want to come by anyway, make sure you get there by 8 pm, when a couple of excellent stand-up comedians will be warming up the crowd before the really funny stuff happens in the debate. They are…

Katie Halper
Elon James White
Harry Terjanian
Joe Quint

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to take off my shirt and catch an N Train.

—

Seems a little silly to be liveblogging a debate that we all already know John McCain is going to have won so handily.

But, you know, it's kind of our job. And McCain did go through all the trouble make-believe suspending his campaign and fixing all of America's money woes. So, I guess we probably should.

So, check back here tonight at 9 pm to watch the John McCain cream Barack Obama in The Great Debate That Almost Didn't Happen with us.

Because, really, we can't be any more stupid about the whole thing than Wolf Blitzer. Right?

Oh, and we'll be updating this post throughout the day with any relevant debate-related bullshit.

This time — according to my super-secret inside sources — it's because he just received news by carrier pigeon that some 12-year-old kid in DesMoines, Iowa is having trouble completing his homework assignment on dinosaurs. So, obviously, he was forced to summon a giant falcon from the heavens to carry him across the country in its talons.

So, sorry, guys. No debate tonight. But you wouldn't want Petey Brescher to get a failing grade, would you?

Update: Crisis averted!

My sources tell me that once McCain eyeballed that he was directly over the Breschers' DesMoines home, he wrenched his way from the giant falcon's grasp and freefell 33 miles through the troposphere before out-turning his suit jacket to use as a parachute.

He drifted safely into the family's chimney, lept from the fireplace and dashed into Petey's bedroom, where the grade-schooler was scratching his head, trying to make sense of the difference between a brontosaurus and an apatosaurus.

McCain explained to the boy that the two are actually the same pre-historic species, just having undergone a name-change in the past few years.

However, only moments later — while teaching the boy the proper way to hold a football — McCain's ultra-sensitive nose detected trace amounts of carbon monoxide in the air. So, he inhaled as hard as he could and sucked all of the hazardous air out of the house and blew it into the face of two masked burglars who happened to be breaking in to murder the family at that very moment.

Having no time to collect the family's appreciation, he warped space with his mind and made his way to the debate in Mississippi.

So, the debate's back on!