* The Onion: Congress Deadlocked on How Not to Provide Health Care.

* Please don't let the idiot train leave for health care protest town without Michele Bachmann! She's a'comin'!

* Sen. Max Baucus is under attack from the YouTubes.

* Barack Obama's mother-in-law practices Santeria, but she ain't got no crystal ball.

* John Edwards is moving his little bundle of political irrelevancy closer to home.

Kurt Braunohler is back with the last batch of informatively juicy facts about swing states, in our exclusive video series, Swing State Seminars!

Check out more Swing State Seminars here!

As we push toward November 4, it's time to focus on our nation's Swing States (i.e. the ones who will pick a president for the rest of us based on whoever's negative ad they saw last.) So tough toodles, Texas. Nous sommes désolés, Massachusetts. Let's investigate a state that matters for a change…

Montana's Key Players

* Governor Brian Schweitzer: Has done for bolo ties what Jackie Kennedy did for pillbox hats.

* Senator Jon Tester: Has done for cutting your hair with a lawn tractor what Jackie Kennedy did for going to a stylist.

* Former Senator Conrad Burns: Although he lost his seat in 2004, he can still influence the voters he greets at the entrance to the Butte Wal-Mart.

Obama's Constituency

* Gay cowhands working up on the old Brokaw ranch.

* Extras on the set of "A River Runs Through It 2: The College Years."

* The African-American population, which will be voting absentee due to a business meeting he's attending in Milwaukee.

McCain's Constituency

* Residents insisting on stepped-up border security to protect against Canadians who swore to move to the U.S. if Prime Minister Stephen Harper was reelected.

* Salmon grateful for Sarah Palin's anti-bear executive record.

* Exurb commuter families who got priced out of North Dakota.

Predicted Winner: McCain
Ever the wily veteran, McCain won't repeat the same mistakes his commanding officer made at Little Bighorn.

Check out more Swing State Profiles here!

In the latest sign of John McCain's rapidly disintegrating hopes of winning the presidential campaign, he now finds himself on the ropes in Montana, a large cattle-oriented state that wasn't even remotely in play in the last two elections.

A poll released by Montana State University shows Barack Obama leading McCain, 44% to 40%. Interestingly, Montana is the only state where Congressman Ron Paul is on the ballot (as the Constitution Party candidate), and he is pulling 4% of the vote in the poll.

The RNC revealed today that it will be buying advertising in the state in the last week before Election Day.

The Republican National Committee will begin running television ads in Montana beginning on Wednesday, a sign of how heavily the playing field is tilted against the GOP with just eight days left in the presidential election.

Montana has been a Republican stronghold for years at the presidential level. President George W. Bush carried it with 59 percent in 2004 and a similar 58 percent four years earlier. It's worth noting, however, that then-Arkansas Gov. Bill Clinton carried Montana when he ran for president in 1992 — thanks to Ross Perot taking 26 percent of the vote.

Barack Obama has been advertising steadily in Montana for the last few months and, until tonight, John McCain and the RNC seemed content to let the Illinois senator have the airwaves to himself.

The content of the ads has not been revealed. Look for grainy slow-motion footage of Obama eating arugula while an ominous announcer says, "Barack Obama. Untested, unready, and possibly a vegetarian. Wrong for Montana and wrong for America. Also, I'm pretty sure he's gay."

On Tuesday, we posted a whole slew of sexy pictures of Charlize Theron who "spoke" at a pro-labor event here in Denver.

Believe it or not, our trip here hasn't only been movie stars pretending to care about stuff.  We've also seen some honest to goodness politicians who might actually care about stuff like Rep. Mike Michaud of Maine, and Teamster leader James Hoffa, who also attended the event with Ms. Theron.

In the Big Tent, several folks have dropped by. Below are Sen. Dick Durbin, the Senate Majority Whip from Illinois, and Sen. John Tester of Montana mixing it up with the liberal bloggers.

And lastly, Senator Ben Cardin of Maine Maryland* spoke at The Dark Court Panel Discussion.

Check back for more pictures later today.

* @ Harold. Maryland is my home state too.  This is what happens when you don't sleep for 3 nights straight. Still had Michaud on the mind I guess…

When Senator Jon Tester arrived in Washington after winning his Senate campaign in 2006, I read that he brought a cooler of his own meat from Montana.  Since then I have spent many a sleepless night wondering if Tester had succeeded in finding a decent steak house in D.C.

Well, today, I had the opportunity to ask him.

Apparently he still brings his own beef because "he knows where it came from."

Now I'm a wussy, beltway insider vegetarian, but if Jon Tester offered me a steak, I think I'd have to eat it.  Shaking his hand, I could tell that this was a man who truly knows his meat.