The Daily Show's coverage of Obama's death panels continues after the jump followed by Stephen Colbert's take.

The Daily Show and Colbert Report air Monday through Thursday beginning at 11pm / 10c.

It is noon, Jan. 20, 2013. Sarah Palin raises her right hand to be sworn in as the 45th president of the United States.

Did you have a physiological reaction to that string of words? Keep reading; it gets worse…

Palin had won a decisive victory over the incumbent, Barack Obama. The country was still trapped in economic rubble, and voters had tired of Obama's campaign slogan, "I Inherited This."…

After years as co-host of "The Jerry Springer Show," Sarah Palin had returned to the fray and run an unstoppable campaign… Palin convinced Newt Gingrich to join her on the ticket as vice president by promising he'd really be in charge of the administration — similar to the arrangement between Dick Cheney and George W. Bush.

This is where I stopped reading the article. I know it's stupid, but I couldn't make myself go on. It's like those Saw movies that I never have and never will see. I just can't justify subjecting myself to torture porn.

And, the scariest thing about it is that it technically can happen.

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

If only we could have fifteen presidents. The choosing is just too hard!

Asked to name the "main person who speaks for the Republican Party today," Republicans across the country are most likely to name three men: Rush Limbaugh, Newt Gingrich, and Dick Cheney.

Jeeze. For a party so hung up on being pro-life, they sure do have a fixation with suicide.

Gingrich: "I am not a citizen of the world. I think the entire concept is intellectual nonsense and stunningly dangerous."

Me neither. Because, really, who gives a shit what that guy says?

I'll tell you who gives a shit what that guy says. Media Matters for America gives a shit what that guy says…

In a July 2008 speech in Berlin, Germany, Obama described himself as "a citizen — a proud citizen of the United States, and a fellow citizen of the world." In a June 17, 1982, speech to the United Nations General Assembly, [Ronald] Reagan similarly said, "I speak today as both a citizen of the United States and of the world."

Aha! So, Newt Gingrich wasn't actually just grasping at straws and turning whatever Obama quote was readily available around in an effort to do what he does and be a partisan blowhard. No! He was accidentally admitting that he actually hates Ronald Reagan and conservative ideals and America and God.

Good catch, Media Matters!

Ohmigod. You've been following the Republican social dramz, right? No? Okay, quick recap: Last night the National Republican Senatorial Committee and the National Republican Congressional Committee held their joint prom in Washington, DC, and first Sarah Palin was supposed to attend and then she wasn't and then she was and then she wasn't and then she was like, fine, I don't want to go anyway, and the rest of the GOP was like, well, I hear she stuffs her bra.

In the end everything worked out just great! Sarah showed up with her date Dude, and they slow-danced a little too close for chaperone Newt Gingrich's taste but then everybody laughed it off over by the punch bowl. And this morning, all the kids at the school papers are saying stuff like how Sarah "stole the show" and was "a star" and "the center of attention," oh boy, let's find out what else she did, maybe she took off her shoes and danced on a table while shooting wolves or something…

Palin did not speak at the event, but during a break in the program for dinner, Republicans clustered around the former vice presidential nominee’s table near the front of the ballroom, eager to meet the governor and pose for pictures.

It was the only table in the vast ballroom that had a crowd gathered around it — and despite their distance from Palin’s table, multiple television cameras kept their lenses trained on the governor for much of the evening.

Hmm, so, basically she just sat there and let a bunch of drooly Republicans project their weird political fantasies on the blank canvas of her brain. What can you do? It's her #1 talent, along with abstinence education.

Also the Republicans raised $14.45 million at their prom, so they should have a really fun class trip to Disneyworld in 2010.

Even Ann Coulter says so, and I've never known her to say anything idiotic for ridiculous hyper-partisan reasons…

Never ones to shy away from a fight — even a losing one — the Holy Trinity of the GOP – Newt Gingrich, Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh — have taken to calling the Supreme Court justice nominee Sonia Sotomayor a 'racist,' with Gingrich even going so far as to ask her to withdraw.

In other news, a giraffe, an ostrich and an apatosaurus have all come out strongly against the uncommonly long length of her neck and the fact that her diet consists mainly of leaves, grasses and other plant matter.

Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich was on The Daily Show last night and told Jon Stewart that he thinks current House Speaker Nancy Pelosi should step down from her leadership position. Also, the sun came up this morning and ice cream tastes yummy.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

What questions would you like to see Jon ask him?

While you're thinking, here's superfly interview with the Newtster from last year…

And another one from 2005 after the jump…