I know everybody, myself included, has been breathlessly watching the news, hoping and/or praying for a non-tragic conclusion to this big, big story. And here it is!

Rush Limbaugh has been dropped from the investors group hoping to buy the St. Louis Rams…

"Rush was to be a limited partner — as such, he would have had no say in the direction of the club or in any decisions regarding personnel or operations," Dave Checketts, the former Madison Square Garden executive who is leading the group that included Limbaugh.

"This was a role he enthusiastically embraced. However, it has become clear that his involvement in our group has become a complication and a distraction to our intentions; endangering our bid to keep the team in St. Louis. As such, we have decided to move forward without him and hope it will eventually lead us to a successful conclusion."

Despite how bad this could have turned out, the good people of America have, I think, been drawn a little closer to one another now.

Now go home and hug your children!

Speaking of misunderstood racists, poor Rush Limbaugh just can't seem to catch a break in his quest to own an NFL team.

First, it turned out that people have brains capable of recalling the borderline racist things people said a few years ago (or, for that matter, the overtly racist things they said lots and lots of times). And then it became apparent that some football players might maybe not want to work for a racist person that is always going around saying racist things.

Now, the commissioner of the NFL is wondering if maybe he and the other team owners shouldn't maybe just exercise their free market rights to not approve the sale of an NFL team to a racist person who will make the whole league look bad…

"I've said many times before we're all held to a high standard here, and I think divisive comments are not what the NFL is all about," [Roger] Goodell said at an NFL owners' meeting. "I would not want to see those comments coming from people who are in a responsible position in the NFL, absolutely not."…

[A]ny proposed franchise sale would have to be approved by three-quarters of the owners, and Goodell's comments signaled that it perhaps would be unlikely that Limbaugh's bid would be ratified by the other teams.

What about the other team owners? Do they support racism? Turns out a lot of them do not support racism…

Indianapolis Colts owner Jim Irsay said he would not vote in favor of approving Limbaugh as an owner.

"I would not be in favor of voting for him," Irsay said. "I could ask Tony Dungy, Jim Caldwell, Dwight Freeney and consult with them, but there have been comments that have been made that have been inappropriate, incendiary and insensitive. It's bigger than football. We have to watch the words that we say…. Sometimes privileges in life do get lost. I would not feel comfortable.

I feel so sad for Rush Limbaugh. Can you imagine the pain of having to deal with circumstances of your own making. In this day and age?!

I just hope this doesn't get him down and that he somehow finds the strength to somehow continue being an unctuous racist hypocrite.

5. The Pennsylvania senator endorsing George W. Bush for president in 2000.

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Join former United States Senate Pages Dylan and Ethan Ris as they bring you the dish on not just the presidential race but all the exciting triumphs and disgraces inside, outside, and below the Beltway!

Pigskin Fever! If you love freedom, you're no doubt up in arms about the NFL's inadequate investigation of former New England Patriots video intern Matt Walsh. Well fortunately, so is Senator Arlen Specter (R-PA), who has a bold plan to "tackle" this problem head-on: setting fire to a large pile of money!

No, wait, excuse us… what we meant to say is that Sen. Specter wants to hire an independent counsel to investigate this iniquity. (You’ll admit we were close.)

Our Page brethren who heard Specter's oration on the Senate floor reported that they were universally moved and some wept openly. Their only complaint was having to first sit through other Senators' speeches regarding foster care and hate crimes. BOR-ING!

Although Specter was not permitted to wear his autographed Donovan McNabb jersey onto the Senate floor or sit in his inflatable Philadelphia Eagles chair, he still managed to tear NFL commissioner Roger Goodell a new asshole, into which he immediately crammed several bulging wads of taxpayer dollars.

And don't think that Specter will stop with Goodell! We say the dictators of Myanmar and Zimbabwe had better pray to their pagan gods that there's no footage of them in Walsh's tapes unless they wish to be subpoenaed faster than you can say Roger Clemens!