Winning the Nobel Peace Prize, warranted or not, means you get a cool $1.4 million with which to keep on' peacin' on. Nobel laureate/President Barack Obama has announced that he'll donate his prize money to a long list of charities. That's the good news.

The bad news is, Nobel laureate/President Barack Obama has announced that he'll donate his prize money to a long list of charities…

Following is a breakdown of Obama's donations:

$250,000 to Fisher House, a national nonprofit organization providing accommodation for families of patients receiving medical care at military and Department of Veterans Affairs medical centers.

$200,000 to the Clinton-Bush Haiti Fund, which was set up in the aftermath of the Haitian earthquake to help survivors.

$125,000 to College Summit, a national nonprofit organization to increase college enrollment rates.

$125,000 to the Posse Foundation, which awards scholarships to promising public high school students.

$125,000 to the United Negro College Fund.

$125,000 to the Hispanic Scholarship Fund.

$125,000 to the American Indian College Fund.

$125,000 to the Appalachian Leadership and Education Foundation.

$100,000 to AfriCare, which promotes health, food security and access to water primarily in Africa.

$100,000 to the Central Asia Institute, which education and literacy, especially for girls, in remote regions of Pakistan and Afghanistan.

Doesn't he remember the first rule of politics? The more charities to which you donate, or the more pages you use to write legislation, the more reasons people will find to get pissed off at you.

Sure, it seems hard to believe that anyone could quarrel with financial aid for underprivileged students, but this is America. We'll find a way.

Donald Trump — obviously concerned that his reputation remains in too pristine standing after several years of self-mocking reality television and Oreo commercials — has decided that the time has come for him to wade into the Climate Change debate…

"With the coldest winter ever recorded, with snow setting record levels up and down the coast, the Nobel committee should take the Nobel Prize back from Al Gore," the tycoon told members of his Trump National Golf Club in Westchester in a recent speech.

I had a hard time choosing between these three punchlines, so I leave it to you to choose your own.

* I'm not sure what's done more to make this guy a modern icon of America: his outspokenness or his unthinkiness.

* That Donald Trump is embracing Climate Change denialism should come as a surprise to no one. He's been an outspoken advocate of Hairline Change denialism since forever.

* Say what you will about this guy's views on environmentalism, but his ideas for combating deforestation are ingenious. All we need now is a tractor big enough to perform the comb-over.

As you know, President Obama traveled to Oslo, Norway yesterday to accept his Nobel Peace Prize. And you can say what you will about whether or not he deserved the award, but you have to admit he gave a pretty good speech. I mean, as far as Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speeches go, he practically made Aung San Suu Kyi look like Carlos Filipe Ximenes Belo!

Click here to watch last night's Colbert Report in its entirety. Meanwhile, Jon Stewart's take on the speech from last night's Daily Show can be found below.

The Daily Show and Colbert Report air Monday through Thursday starting at 11pm / 10c.

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It appears that President Obama has finally gotten a little of the Republican love his been courting lo these many months as president, and all he had to do was read a Braveheart monologue while accepting the Nobel  Peace Prize.

Sarah Palin, for example, pointed out that — but for the fact that his acceptance speech was comprehensible — it could have one of her own…

I liked what he said," Palin told USA Today. "I talked too in my book about the fallen nature of man and why war is necessary at times." The speech "sounded really familiar," Palin said.

As if that wasn't unkind enough, a GOP strategist Bradley A. Blakeman heaped upon even greater praise by association…

"The irony is that George W. Bush could have delivered the very same speech," [Blakeman] said.

Wow. These people do not pull their punches, do they?

It was bad enough when they were comparing him to Hitler and the Antichrist. This is just going too far.

Gay Republicans — who apparently still actually exist for some reason — are asking President Obama to take some time away from accepting Nobel Prizes for peace to call for a little not-murder…

While the President is in Norway accepting a Nobel Peace Prize, Ugandan political leaders are considering a bill that criminalizes gays and lesbians. "If the President wants to start earning the Nobel Peace Prize he is accepting, he can start by speaking out against this outrageous Ugandan law," said Jimmy LaSalvia, Executive Director of GOProud – the only national organization for gay conservatives and their allies.

"President Obama's lack of leadership on international human rights issues is appalling," continued LaSalvia. "From his refusal to confront the radically anti-gay regime in Iran to his refusal to speak out against this proposed Ugandan law — this President's silence speaks volumes about his priorities.

Jeeze. When gay Republicans have the undeniable moral high ground and can with straight faces call you out for your hypocrisy, it's probably getting to be around that time when you should start rethinking your strategies.

Barack Obama sure is speechy these days, huh?

Seems like just last week that he was giving a speech about how he's decided to escalate the war in Afghanistan by sending an additional 30,000 troops into that smoldering shell of a country. And now, he's delivering an acceptance speech for the Nobel Peace Prize…

President Obama, accepting the Nobel Peace Prize here on Thursday, acknowledged the age-old tensions between war and peace but argued that his recent decision to escalate the conflict in Afghanistan was justified to protect the world from terrorism and extremism.

"We must begin by acknowledging the hard truth," Mr. Obama said. "We will not eradicate violent conflict in our lifetimes. There will be times when nations — acting individually or in concert — will find the use of force not only necessary but morally justified."

Yes, and then there are countries like the ones like the U.S. and the U.K. which are trying to fight back against the Middle Eastern countries' moral war against the West, which I'm assuming he is referencing in the above paragraph.

This is clearly a case of the good guys vs. the bad guys.