North Carolina
November 3 at 9:29AM
Here's a quick question for you: What's the single biggest threat facing Americans today? If you said terrorism, you're close. That's definitely a huge threat that you should really be more afraid of — especially today, on Election Day — but it's only number two.
Number one, though, is so much worse…
As the House convened Monday afternoon, Ms. [Virginia] Foxx, a North Carolina Republican, lashed out at the proposal Democrats are trying to bring to the floor for a vote by the weekend, hitting it for potentially using tax dollars to pay for abortions, among other things…
"I believe we have more to fear from the potential of that bill passing than we do from any terrorist right now in any country," Ms. Foxx said, adding later: "It is a bad bill and the American people should be frightened of it."
You know what we should do? We should give health care to the terrorists. Or would that violate the Geneva Conventions?
September 25 at 1:27PM
What's happening in America today just makes me sick! Racists are citizens, too! What happened to their Constitutional right to behave like racists without being labeled as racists?
It's one of the most important principles on which this great land was founded…
The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.
August 12 at 5:10PM
Stop the world! I wanna get a gun and shoot myself in the face…
A poll released Tuesday from Public Policy Polling shows just 24 percent of Republicans in North Carolina believe that President Obama was born in the United States, despite all evidence that he was indeed born in Hawaii. When factoring in both Democrat and Independent voters, that figure increases, but only to 54 percent.
That's not all. (I gonna need some extra grande-sized bullets)…
Of those who voted for McCain in North Carolina, only 89 percent agreed that Hawaii is part of the United States.
I don't know if you remember this — because it might not be true in your version of reality — but there used to be these things called "facts." And you could interpret them how you liked and form your own opinions about what those facts meant for the world, but you pretty much just accepted that the facts were real.
That's not the case anymore, obviously. Now, the word "fact" isn't really anything more than another synonym for the word "opinion." Completely interchangeable. You have your facts about where the president was born, who destroyed the World Trade Center and how old the Earth is, and I have mine.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a face to shoot.
February 18 at 6:21PM
Good news if you're one of the thirteen atheists living in Arkansas. You might one day be afforded the honor of having an actual legal vote that doesn't matter…
It's an ugly little open secret that Arkansas, Maryland, Mississippi, North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas have constitutions that explicitly forbid atheists from holding state office. These laws are archaic and unenforceable in principle — they were all ruled unconstitutional in 1961…
Now, though, a representative in Arkansas has submitted a bill to amend the Arkansas constitution and remove the prohibition of atheists.
Can you believe the nerve of Richard Carroll, the guy who submitted this bill? Throwing his hat in with the godless unbelievers. In direct defiance of the defiance of the 1st Amendment?! And in Mike Huckabee's back yard, no less! I never thought I'd see the day.
Can't we just have one small little section of the country where reasonable can go to not be reasonable? Just one?
February 4 at 2:56PM
In case you were wondering what the top ten most morally-upright states in the union were, look no further than this new poll from Gallup…

No comment.
(via DFTCW)
November 4 at 8:46PM
Hey Bob Dole, don't bother taking any Viagra tonight. Liddy isn't exactly going to be "in the mood" after losing her Senate seat to Kay Hagan.
Dole, who doesn't live in North Carolina but took a 2 week vacation there in 2006, had trailed in the polls for some time. Still, her chances seemed at least 50/50 until this past week, when she ran ads accusing Hagan of taking money from non-Christians.
This proved to be the final straw with the state's powerful Wiccan demographic, who responded in large numbers for Hagan.
Another tick toward a Democratic supermajority in the Senate.
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