Number one, though, is so much worse…

As the House convened Monday afternoon, Ms. [Virginia] Foxx, a North Carolina Republican, lashed out at the proposal Democrats are trying to bring to the floor for a vote by the weekend, hitting it for potentially using tax dollars to pay for abortions, among other things…

"I believe we have more to fear from the potential of that bill passing than we do from any terrorist right now in any country," Ms. Foxx said, adding later: "It is a bad bill and the American people should be frightened of it."

You know what we should do? We should give health care to the terrorists. Or would that violate the Geneva Conventions?

It's one of the most important principles on which this great land was founded…

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

A poll released Tuesday from Public Policy Polling shows just 24 percent of Republicans in North Carolina believe that President Obama was born in the United States, despite all evidence that he was indeed born in Hawaii. When factoring in both Democrat and Independent voters, that figure increases, but only to 54 percent.

That's not all. (I gonna need some extra grande-sized bullets)…

Of those who voted for McCain in North Carolina, only 89 percent agreed that Hawaii is part of the United States.

I don't know if you remember this — because it might not be true in your version of reality — but there used to be these things called "facts." And you could interpret them how you liked and form your own opinions about what those facts meant for the world, but you pretty much just accepted that the facts were real.

That's not the case anymore, obviously. Now, the word "fact" isn't really anything more than another synonym for the word "opinion." Completely interchangeable. You have your facts about where the president was born, who destroyed the World Trade Center and how old the Earth is, and I have mine.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a face to shoot.

It's an ugly little open secret that Arkansas, Maryland, Mississippi, North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas have constitutions that explicitly forbid atheists from holding state office. These laws are archaic and unenforceable in principle — they were all ruled unconstitutional in 1961…

Now, though, a representative in Arkansas has submitted a bill to amend the Arkansas constitution and remove the prohibition of atheists.

Can you believe the nerve of Richard Carroll, the guy who submitted this bill? Throwing his hat in with the godless unbelievers. In direct defiance of the defiance of the 1st Amendment?! And in Mike Huckabee's back yard, no less! I never thought I'd see the day.

Can't we just have one small little section of the country where reasonable can go to not be reasonable? Just one?

No comment.

(via DFTCW)

Dole, who doesn't live in North Carolina but took a 2 week vacation there in 2006, had trailed in the polls for some time.  Still, her chances seemed at least 50/50 until this past week, when she ran ads accusing Hagan of taking money from non-Christians.

This proved to be the final straw with the state's powerful Wiccan demographic, who responded in large numbers for Hagan.

Another tick toward a Democratic supermajority in the Senate.

And 62% for Obama to 38% for McCain in North Carolina. Holy Shit!

Well Senator Liddy Dole (R-NC) is continuing in her heavenly father's grand tradition by airing a commercial accusing Hagan of "taking Godless money."

Dole's ad slams Hagan for accepting money that was raised at an ActBlue fundraiser held in Boston at the home of a person who, among other things, is on the advisory board of the Godless Americans PAC.

Now if that isn't spitting in the eye of Christianity, then Barack Obama is a capitalist. It couldn't have been worse if Hagan had personally shit on a Bible herself.

Fortunately we have this attack ad from the Book of Liddy 10:29…

By the way, didn't you like how, at the end of the ad, it clearly sounds like Hagan is the one saying "There is no God"?

Yeah, well neither did Hagan, a Presbyterian elder. She's now threatening a lawsuit unless Dole pulls the ad.

So long as she can find a court that will swear her in on an Atheist Bible.

Check out more Swing State Seminars here!

North Carolina's Key Players

* Former Senator John Edwards: Was talked up as a potential Obama running-mate, given that Americans prefer their Democrats Southern, smooth-talking, and unfaithful to their wives.

* Former NBA star Michael Jordan, who decided to make an endorsement after it was revealed that Republicans no longer wear sneakers.

* Deceased Republican Senator Jesse Helms: His will states that if North Carolina ever votes for a black man, his body is to be exhumed and reburied in the Soviet Union.

Obama's Constituency

* Gay tobacco farmers.

* The N.C. State Wolfpack, who fear Sarah Palin's wrath.

* Liberals who "hate real Americans that work and accomplish and achieve and believe in God."

McCain's Constituency

* Proud Asheville residents who are pretty sure that one of McCain's seven homes is in their town.

* Senator Elizabeth Dole, who registered to vote in North Carolina during her two-week vacation to the state in 2006.

* Racists.

Predicted Winner: John McCain

When NASCAR speaks, North Carolina listens.

Check out more Swing State profiles here!