Rick Cleveland, besides being a writer for The West Wing and Six Feet Under, is buddies with former United States President William Jefferson Clinton, as he explained in detail in his Comedy Central special Rick Cleveland's My Buddy Bill.

Okay, now McCain wants me to work with his dog. I helped Bill Clinton with Buddy. I even tried to help W. with his Scottish Terrier, Barney — and now it's McCain. He's got an English Springer Spaniel named Sam, and apparently Sam hasn't been cooperating for family photo ops.

The problem is — and this is the problem with most presidential candidates and their dogs — these people don't spend any time with these animals — they can't, they're politicians. And dogs like consistency. I spend Saturday at the McCain's ranch in Arizona, working with Sam. They cannot get him to look into the lens, and this makes McCain impatient — and if there's one person in this race you do not want to make impatient, it's John McCain. (He's a Vietnam Vet!) But this makes Sam even more nervous around the camera.

I ask John if he has any tennis balls. He has one of his Advancemen run back to the house and fetch me one. Then I give it to the Photographer and tell him to hold it in the same hand as the one he uses to press the camera's shutter button. Sam cannot take his eye off the tennis ball, and it appears as though he is staring directly into the lens.

McCain is thrilled, the proof sheets look great. I stay for the night, and The Deer Hunter is showing on cable. John watches it, laughing — the way me and my friends would laugh at Caddyshack.

Sunday morning, I check my voice mail at the airport, and I have a message from Michelle Obama. She and Barack don't have a dog. But they would like to get one.

In case you missed it, here's more from Rick about Bill's dog Buddy from last week's airing of Rick Cleveland's My Buddy Bill.

Rick Cleveland, besides being a writer for The West Wing and Six Feet Under, is buddies with former United States President William Jefferson Clinton, as he explains in detail for his upcoming Comedy Central special Rick Cleveland's My Buddy Bill, premiering this Thursday (Feb, 7) at midnight.

I'm celebrating at Clinton Campaign headquarters and Hillary has just given me a hug when my cell phone rings. It's Dennis Kucinich. He's in Malibu, at Shirley McClaine's house, and he doesn't sound good.

I've known Dennis since I was a kid and he was mayor of Cleveland — my home town — when my Aunt Shirley was a City Council member. I drive out to Malibu, Shirley's house-boy Helmut buzzes me in, and I find Dennis glued to the TV, watching election results. Shirley tells me that he's super depressed. I go in to talk to him.

Elizabeth, his 29-year old wife (who has a pierced tongue) is visiting her folks back in England. (I smell trouble between them, and have, ever since Dennis dropped out of the race.) Dennis tells me, "I spoke from my heart, I got specific about the issues and the solutions, and still I got my ass kicked – and I'm a joke."

I really don't know what to say to him since I agree with everything he's just said.

And I know that to actually do the right things and to say the right things in a Presidential Race, you have to be nuts – and Dennis, even though I love him, is, well, a little bit nuts. Then again, he has a 29-year old wife with a tongue stud.

I let Dennis talk himself out, and then, when he isn't looking, I change over to the History Channel where an episode of "UFO Hunters"
is on, and after ten minutes or so, Dennis stops talking and before you know it Shirley joins us.

Helmut brings us a big bowl of microwave popcorn, and we're all absorbed…

Rick Cleveland, besides being a writer for The West Wing and Six Feet Under, is buddies with former United States President William Jefferson Clinton, as he explains in detail for his upcoming Comedy Central special Rick Cleveland's My Buddy Bill, premiering this Thursday (Feb, 7) at midnight.

Today (Monday) is tense. No matter where I take Bill, he can not stay off his cell phone. And then when we're hiking up in Topanga, his cell phone drops a call and he smashes it against a rock. Ten minutes later a Secret Service Agent brings him a new one, and we cut our hike short.

Bill is onto the whole "keeping him on the down low" before Super Tuesday, and he's not happy about it, not one bit. I call Billy Bob and he invites us over – and for a few hours we "jam" – Billy Bob on guitar and vocals, Bill on tenor sax, and me on drums. Finally Bill gets lost in the music and forgets about his cell phone. We play "That Smell," "Simple Man," ZZ Top's "Fandango," some Billy Bob originals and a couple of White Stripes tunes which Bill says he's familiar with but Billy Bob and I can tell he isn't. Later, Billy Bob screens some movies of his — "Pushing Tin," and "Armageddon" and "Bad Santa." Bill (Clinton) loves "Armageddon."

We eat fried bologna sandwiches with yucca fries and diet cokes, but by 3 p.m. Bill is getting antsy and finally he says he has to go, telling us he has a "campaign to run." He asks us who we're planning on voting for, and when we hem and haw and he senses that we might be leaning toward Obama, he nails us with a fifteen minute monologue about how he's going to win — he doesn't say Hillary's going to win — and how this will be his "third term" and that it's his destiny.

Billy Bob and I sneak a look at one another but we dare don't say anything. One of the Secret Service Agents notices, though — he talks into a little walkie-talkie mike thing near his cuff-link, and ten minutes later, Clinton's physician shows up and gives Bill an injection — Bill tells us it's just a B-12 booster.

Man, tomorrow is the Big Day here in California, and it might just get ugly…

Here's a clip from Rick's upcoming special, Rick Cleveland's My Buddy Bill.

Rick Cleveland, besides being a writer for The West Wing and Six Feet Under, is buddies with former United States President William Jefferson Clinton, as he explains in detail for his upcoming Comedy Central special Rick Cleveland's My Buddy Bill, premiering this Thursday (Feb, 7) at midnight. He has a seemingly endless supply of stories about the ups and downs of their sometimes strained relationship, such as this one from just last night…

"The following is a work of fiction. Any similarity to real persons or events is strictly intentional." — Mark Twain

I get a call from one of Hillary's advance men, asking if I can take Bill someplace to watch the Super Bowl, someplace distracting with no reporters. Clearly Hillary's people need Bill to maintain a low profile between now and the day after Super Duper Tuesday. (Bill and I had been friends for some time after he'd left the Oval Office, but had a falling out after Hillary saw a photo of me, Bill and Chris Walken hanging out in an Amsterdam hash bar.) If I can manage to keep Bill "on the down-low" until Tuesday after the polls close, I'll be back on Hillary's good side.

So Bill picks me up in a limo driven by a Secret Service Agent, and I take him over to my friend Josh Brolin's house. We start watching the game, eating chips and making chit-chat with Josh and his wife Diane Lane. Bill tells Josh he doesn't think "No Country For Old Men" had much of an ending. Josh tells Bill that it did too have a great ending, but maybe Bill, along with most of the critics in America, just didn't get it. During halftime, Bill brings up "Unfaithful," the movie that Diane did with Richard Gere, the one where she has R-rated sex with this way too good-looking French guy. Bill cannot stop talking about this movie. He asks Diane what it was like to film the sex scenes. This clearly makes Diane uncomfortable.

Bill tells her, "Man, those scenes were SO convincing, I'd swear you were doin' it." I look at Josh, and I can tell he's really getting pissed off. He leaves the room and comes back wearing a different T-shirt, one that reveals more of his tats. During the fourth quarter Bill brings up the movie again, asking Diane if there are any "extras" on the DVD that might be worth checking out.

Josh pulls me aside in the kitchen and asks, "Why is he acting so freaky with my wife?" I try to calm him down by telling him not to worry, that if Bill gets too out of hand, his Secret Service Agents have been instructed to take him out with a tranquilizer gun if necessary. As far as I know, the Secret Service Agents don't really have a tranq gun, I just tell this to Josh so he'll shut up. Josh tells me he doesn�t care if the guy was president, he�s getting ready to mess him up.

About fifteen minutes later, Diane tells us she has to go out and says her goodbyes. Ten minutes later a clearly disappointed Bill says he'd better head home, too.

Now all I have to do is figure out what I'm going to do with Bill tomorrow…

Click here to watch video clips from Rick Cleveland's My Buddy Bill