To all you would-be politicians hoping to jump start a career in the public spotlight at the local level, be fore-warned: Local politics can be a pretty cut-throat business. And you'd be well served to not provide your political opponents with any ammunition to help them bring you down.

Case in point…

East Cleveland Mayor Eric Brewer blasted a local television station Thursday, one day after it aired photographs that purported to show the mayor wearing a wig and lingerie.

The news conference came less than a week before voters decide if he should be re-elected.

You see, that guy didn't think ahead. If you're serious about starting a career in politics, you're simply going to have to train yourself to keep track of where all the transvestite pictures of you are and who has access to them.

If you're smart about to whom you send pictures of yourself dressed up in sex gear, you'd be surprised at how far you can go in Ohio politics.

Just look at everything that Dennis Kucinich accomplished.

(photo via BuzzFeed)

God bless Ohio Congresswoman Jean Schmidt!

She's a Republican who's smart and reasonable enough (well, not smart or reasonable in a technical sense) to see through these rumors (or to see right at them) about Barack Obama's birthplace and dismiss them (or actually maybe believe them whole heartedly).

And she will hold no truck (I guess, maybe a little truck… or a lot of truck?) with people who propagate such slanders (alternative truths) against our Commander-in-Chief (the foreign guy who scammed his way into the White House).

Just take a look at this conversation she had with a a woman furious under the willful delusion that Barack Obama was born in Haiti or something this past weekend at a Teabagging Party in Cincinnati…

What a smart (moronic) and noble (horrible) woman.

This blog has, admittedly, not paid nearly enough attention to the Toledo, Ohio mayoral race between Democrat Ben Konop and whoever the guy is who's running against Ben Konop.

Well, to make up for that, I'm just gonna pick the first random Ben Konop stump speech that I can find and put it up. (I wonder how he's polling with mutton-chop, porch-sitting hat dudes.)

Wow. That town really just besieged by ghosts! Loud ones!

Getting some paranormal exterminators in there, should be the first order of business for Mayor Ben Konop.

Ohio legislators are thinking of using some of their state's stimulus money to build a fence that would stop people from escaping from Ohio and into the netherworld…

Akron hopes to curtail future deaths on what has been dubbed "Suicide Bridge" by installing a fence.

The controversial fencing — some have been pushing for it, while others think it's a waste of money — was among the local projects the state approved Thursday for federal stimulus funds.

This fence idea is ridiculous. They can't make people in Ohio stop committing suicide.

I mean, what else is there to do in that state?

Tell you what, I'd sure hate to be Helen Jones-Kelley right now. That's because the former Ohio state official is being sued, along with two other now-fired government workers, by the one and only Rush Limbaugh.

Sorry, I mean Joe the Plumber…

Toledo-area plumber and 2008 presidential campaign fixture Samuel Wurzelbacher filed a federal lawsuit today that charges Ohio government officials with violating his constitutional rights by searching confidential government databases for information about him.

No sir, you don't mess with a man's constitutional rights like that, especially not a man who's a patriot like Samuel the Wurzelbacher. Good thing Joe's hired Judicial Watch, a "public interest group that investigates government corruption," to get him press coverage represent him in this most important matter.

"No American should be investigated for simply asking a question of a public official," Judicial Watch President Tom Fitton said in a statement. "It is unconscionable that high-ranking state officials pried into confidential government files in retaliation for Joe's exercise of his First Amendment rights."

Mmmm!

And we all know how strongly Joe feels about the First Amendment.

* If you're gonna be the prostitution guru of Columbus, it helps to also be the director of Ohio's Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives. Because you're essentially using the same rolodex.

* Excited for Barack Obama's inauguration? Then you're totally gay, you gay!

* Caroline Kennedy's popularity has dropped hard in the past month. Maybe she really is meant for politics.

* Thank Jesus we have men like Rep. Paul Broun and these two weird religious guys around to do important government stuff like blessing doorways. Otherwise, all the doorways would suffer an eternity in Hell.

* Eric Holder holdering in there pretty well.

* I'm surprised that more people aren't pissed at this comparison of Rick Warren's congregation to the Hitler Youth Movement. Maybe it's because it's Rick Warren making the comparison.