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Outgoing Obama aide, Anita Dunn, lauds Jon Stewart and The Daily Show.

RIP Levi's Penis

We have some shocking news about Levi Johnston's upcoming spread in Playgirl.

Palin '09

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Pardons

January 19 at 2:49PM

George Bush Commutes Sentence on Two Heroes of Anti-Mexicanism

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

Not quite sure what to make of this

In his final acts of clemency, President George W. Bush on Monday commuted the prison sentences of two former U.S. Border Patrol agents whose convictions for shooting a Mexican drug dealer ignited fierce debate about illegal immigration.

Bush's decision to commute the sentences of Ignacio Ramos and Jose Compean, who tried to cover up the shooting, was welcomed by both Republican and Democratic members of Congress. They had long argued that the agents were merely doing their jobs, defending the American border against criminals. They also maintained that the more than 10-year prison sentences the pair was given were too harsh.

A lot of people on the right wanted Bush to grant to two men — who were heroic enough to shoot a man "in self defense" while he was running away from them — full pardons. I don't know what it means that he just commuted the remainder of their prison terms.

But Ben Smith says

The commutations of Jose Campean and Ignacio Ramos are a gesture of solidarity with an anti-immigration base unable or unwilling to mobilize effectively for the GOP in November, and perhaps another blow to the party's collapsing relationship with Hispanic voters.

Yeah, because he really needs to sure up that support in his last few hours of office.

January 12 at 2:24PM

Get Your Own Official Presidential Pardon from President Bush While the Pardoning's Good!

POSTED BY: TheInDecider


Have you fucked up in some way these past eight years? Looking for a way to get off scott-free while an ethically-impaired Decider is still sitting in the Oval Office?

Well, lemme tell ya, you're not alone. In fact, you're so not alone that the White House had to create an automated online pardoning app to handle the overwhelming demand for "Get Out of Jail Free" cards.

Just enter all the pertinent info in the form below and then print out your own pardon from President Bush…

November 26 at 11:44AM

America's Shameful Thanksgiving Secret Revealed

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

Notice anything interesting about all the turkeys being pardoned in these pictures?

That's right! None of these turkeys are from the inner-city.

Last year, Michael Kraskin pointed out here on this blog that in Bush's first seven years in office, not once did he pardon a non-caucasian turkey for Thanksgiving.

But, now, at Political Machine, he's showing us that the problem is much more systemic. It appears that no president since Harry Truman has pardoned a turkey of color. Not even Bill Clinton, our first black turkey president.

Let's hope that Barack Obama has the decency to make change happen and pardon, at least, a mixed-race turkey next year.

Update: Change has not come to America quite yet. Here's President Bush and this year's Thanksgiving pardon recipient, Pumpkin.

November 25 at 3:59PM

Duke Cunningham Is Less Popular Than Raw Nuts

POSTED BY: Matt Tobey

In the waning days of President Bush's time in office, convicted criminals are coming out of the woodwork in hopes of a presidential pardon. Among them is former-Congressman Randy "Duke" Cunningham (R-CA), but as TPM points out, there may not be a great deal of support for the disgraced lawmaker:

We noticed that there are only 13 signatures on an online petition designed to demonstrate public support for a pardon, even though it was posted nearly three years ago — just two days after Cunningham pleaded guilty to accepting more than $2.4 million in bribes.

The 66-year-old, who has a history of prostate cancer, was later sentenced to 100 months in prison.

Ouch. To help put that in perspective, an anti-almond-pasteurizing petition started a year-and-a-half ago on the same site has over 23,000 signatures.

Even a two-week-old petition favoring a Castlevania 3 remake has 112 supporters.

At this point, I'd wager more people would want to go naked hot-tubbing with Cunningham than pardon him.

November 25 at 3:05PM

The Onion: Bush Pardons Scooter Libby in Giant Turkey Costume

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

I think that this should officially put an end to the Scooter Libby/Thanksgiving pardon jokes.

There's really nowhere else to go with this.



November 18 at 10:59PM

Ted Stevens WINS Re-Election Bid!

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

Oh, wait. No, he didn't. My mistake. He lost

With an estimated 2,500 votes still outstanding and other election certification steps still to take place, Mark Begich, the Democratic mayor of Anchorage, had taken a lead of 3,724 votes out of more than 315,000 cast, and he declared victory.

Yeah, but, I guess Stevens could conceivably still pull this one out if he can somehow manage to get 149 percent of the remaining 2,500 uncounted votes. I think he can do it!

This must be a very proud day for Mark Begich. Can you imagine what an honor it is to beat a man convicted of seven felony charges by a couple thousand votes?!

"I am humbled and honored to serve Alaska in the United States Senate,” Mr. Begich said. β€œIt's been an incredible journey getting to this point, and I appreciate the support and commitment of the thousands of Alaskans who have brought us to this day. I can't wait to get to work fighting for Alaskan families.”

Mr. Stevens did not immediately concede the race. He could request a recount, but he would have to pay for it if the current vote margins hold.

You know what, though. Having lost the longest held senate seat in U.S. History and facing possible — but unlikely (pardon, anyone?) — jail time, there is something positive for Stevens to grasp hold of.

Today's his birthday!

The defeat came on Mr. Stevens's 85th birthday, at the end of a day in which he avoided expulsion from the ranks of Senate Republicans as his colleagues awaited the final results.

Happy Birthday, former Senator Stevens.

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