Sarah Palin hasn't even eaten her first White House mooseburger, but she's already shattered a glass ceiling.

She has officially ended Paris Hilton's 456-week run at the top of the "Lycos 50"!

The Lycos 50 is a list of the most searched terms on Lycos.com, which is kind of like a list of the most popular surfing beaches in Lichtenstein. But that didn't stop a Lycos employee from getting incredibly worked up over the news…

"To make No. 1 and pass Paris Hilton and YouTube and Pam Anderson and Britney Spears is absolutely phenomenal, especially when it's a politician," said Kathy O'Reilly, spokeswoman for Lycos. "That never, ever happens."

You know what also never, ever happens? Selecting a vice presidential candidate who got only 30,697 more people to vote for her for governor (114,697) than your opponent got to attend a campaign rally (84,000). Or one who threatens Russia with war in her first public interview.

But fair is fair. Sarah Palin beat out Paris Hilton on the Lycos charts and anyone who doesn't praise her for this is a sexist.

Wonder how well she did on The Google?

This summer, John McCain's campaign produced an ad calling Barack Obama the biggest celebrity in the world and equating him with Paris Hilton. This was meant to sting, since celebrities are out of touch with things like small-town values. That's why there are no celebrities in the McCain campaign. Take Sarah Palin. Why, in just the last two weeks she has…

…sensibly graced the covers of Vogue, Time, OK!, US Weekly and The National Enquirer;

…homespun-edly pulled down the highest ratings of anyone in convention coverage history;

…industriously turned Joe Biden into the drama-free vice presidential candidate;

…rolled up her sleeves to make millions for hard-working lens manufacturers;

…and inspired a line of super hero/school girl action figures, just like your grandma from Kenosha.

Yep, it's a good thing Sarah Palin is just a down-to-Earth hockey mom and not a celebrity, like Barack Obama.

Dying to know more about that video of Paris Hilton skewering John McCain from yesterday?

Among the things I discovered in this article was that it was written by Adam McKay — former head-writer of SNL, founding member of the Upright Citizen's Brigade back in Chicago, and writer/director of Anchorman, Talladega Nights and Step Brothers — and Paris Hilton refused money and just shot it for fun.

Oh, and also…

The 24-year-old heiress memorized her entire monologue, which included Hilton outlining her energy plan, in an online video spoof posted on Funny or Die, the comedy Web site's content director said.

At first, I thought, Wow! She didn't use any cue cards?

And then I thought, Wait a minute, can she even read?

Why didn't I think of this before?

John McCain needs a running mate who's a) younger than he is, b) photogenic, and c) a resident of a politically-important state. And we know he's got a thing for Paris Hilton.

If he's going to ask her to be his vice president, though, he'd better act fast. Paris seems to be setting her own political agenda…

Man, I can't wait for Britney's video about free trade. I hear she makes out with Madonna at the end of it.

Seton Motley of Newsbusters — which is totally always busting news stories wide open — makes a very salient point of explaining why it's totally not stupid or childish or, like, hella retarded for the McCain campaign to compare Barack Obama to Paris Hilton in an advertisement.

Because Barack Obama said something kinda similar first.

Back in 2004 — before he was sworn into the Senate but after he handed Alan Keyes his ass in their Illinois race — Obama joked about the hype surrounding his campaign…

There's nothing exotic or complicated about how phenoms are made in Washington, and, more to the point, how they are broken.

"Andy Warhol said we all get our 15 minutes of fame," says Barack Obama. "I've already had an hour and a half. I mean, I'm so overexposed, I'm making Paris Hilton look like a recluse."…

"I figure there's nowhere to go from here but down," Obama says. "So tonight, I announce my retirement from the United States Senate."

Oh! Well, then nevermind. I guess that as long as one of the candidates had made a similar joke or statement about himself at some point in the past that makes using a similar sentiment in a "funny" campaign advertisement not only not juvenile or irrelevant but also politically expedient.

So, I suppose that also means that it's open season for Barack Obama to start referring to John McCain as "old as dirt" in his ads. I mean, McCain said it first. So what's the problem?

And I guess he can also start calling McCain's wife Cindy a "c*nt."

Thank you, Seton Motley, for opening that door for everyone.

John McCain implicitly compared Barack Obama to Paris Hilton in his latest attack ad. But is that really a fair comparison? We thought long and hard about Paris Hilton's…qualities…to see if any of them really match up with Obama's, or those of any other politician. And here's what we came up with:

Statuesque blonde Joe Lieberman	Promiscuous Larry Craig	Relentlessly self-promoting Barack Obama
Attempted acting Fred Thompson	Wears too much makeup Chris Dodd	Attempted singing Trent Lott, John Ashcroft, Larry Craig, Jim Jeffords
Won the Nickelodeon Teen Choice Award for "Best Scream" Howard Dean	Spent time as a prisoner John McCain	Dog wrote a memoir George W. Bush