* Lame duck sessions suck. But maybe if they were stuffed inside a chicken and a turkey… And then all wrapped up in bacon… Oh, that's the spot.

* Basil at IMAO: Bail out the Big Three up north or build a fence around the South to keep all the unemployed Democrats out.

* Mo Rocca: Who would make a better teacher for the Obama girls: Mrs. Garrett or Edna Krabappel?

* Asking, telling: Still frowned upon by upcoming Obama administration.

* 23/6's Lee Camp: Ten questions that must be asked of Barack Obama before he's sworn in.

* Saxby Chambliss is camera shy.

* Al Franken closing in on Norm Coleman, according to Franken's personal brand of math.

* Patton Oswalt speaks (briefly) about election night blogging here on Indy.

* SNL looking for an actual black guy to play the kind of black guy.

Come on, Georgia. How Florida-adjacent do you really want to be?

Although John McCain already conceded the presidency to Barack Obama, reliably Republican Georgia had yet to tally some 100,000 votes from heavily populated counties, complicating the process of awarding the state's 15 electoral votes.

The Associated Press held off calling Georgia for McCain because of outstanding absentee and early votes in the metro Atlanta counties of Fulton, Cobb and Gwinnett.

When those votes come in, it's likely that incumbent Senator Saxby Chambliss will face a runoff against his Democratic challenger, Jim Martin. For those of you who don't remember the only guy you ever heard of named Saxby who wasn't an extra-canonical Star Wars character, he's the guy who defeated disabled Vietnam veteran Max Cleland in 2002 with an ad juxtaposing Cleland's face with Osama Bin Laden's. Patton said it best last night:

"Please baby Jesus, make Saxby Chambliss lose in Georgia. Also, it'd be nice if he could wander onto some train tracks and get T-boned by a commuter express."

I knew I said I'd be blogging 'til 8:30, but I'm kind of overcome right now.

My wife is crying, my dog is getting a belly rub, and I feel like I'm treading against the warm undertow of our bad history flowing away, turning to vapor as we move forward. Bluuuugh! There's something in the air, and no matter what I do, my fingers can only type airy platitudes. Sorry guys.

Please imagine a fart sound in your minds, to counteract my pretentious, happy horseshit. But we're hip-deep in history right now. Go, enjoy it.

All of you. Blue and red.

Four good years. And many more, I think.

11:15p: Just got off the phone with Harlan Ellison.   After a stream of un-printable, joyous profanity, he said:

"Today is the day America ransoms itself from durance vile."

Look it up.   It's wildly appropriate.

11:11p: FOX News just got officially funnier than Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert.

Sorry guys.

11:09p: Just got off the phone with my dad. He was an election official in my hometown. Went to work at 4:30 this morning and got home 10 minutes ago. There was a three hour delay when they opened 'cuz there were too many people waiting to vote.

11:04p: Aaaaaaaand SCENE!

11:02p: FUCK YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

11:01p: Here we go. Big polls closing. Fingers crossed…

10:59p: William Bennett just said "(Obama being elected) happened in George Bush's America." He's right. George Bush burned the country to the fucking ground, so we finally went for the calm, smart guy.

10:56: William Bennett can go fuck himself. Seriously.

10:49p: Wait…CNN has holograms? What the fuck?

What have I been saying about Barack Obama — if he gets elected, he'll bring us crazy new technology. Well, guess what? STAR WARS technology on
CNN! Whoot!

10:43p: YES! Yes! YES! FUCK YES! Virginia just went to Obama! My home state! Way to go, Virginians!

Dan Rather Update:

"Virginia going to Obama is like a plate of scrambled eggs riding a pussy horse at cake school.  Bats!"

10:36p: Oprah's quoting the Bible on ABC right now.

10:19p: Man, William Kristol won't let the Palin thing go. He's got evil, far-reaching plans…

10:12p: Bring me the head of Michelle Bachman!

10:03p: Stop calling what McCain has before him a "climb". The people on the Hindenburg didn't face a "climb" when that thing hit the power lines.

9:57: "Are you watching FOX News? I think they're drunk. I'm not kidding. Listen to Brit Hume."

9:54p: Boy, Shepard Smith just made the term "strategy room" sound fucking ominous.

9:52p: I'm pretty much going to keep it on FOX for the rest of the night. Dan Rather shall be a palate-cleanser.

9:44p: Is anyone watching CNN? It's over. McCain had a chance against Obama,
but he's no match for MATH.

9:42: Sorry I haven't posted. I'm letting the scotch dapple my heart.

9:34p: I can literally hear Fred Barnes' stomach eating itself from tension and defeat.

9:28p: Ohio for Obama. I'll still be blogging for the next two hours, but…

…IT'S OVER!!!!!!!!!!