We know that November 3, 2009 isn't a real Election Day. But still, we can all pretend. Right? Take a look at these six elections and let us know how much you care.
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Since I have a feeling a good majority of you don't follow my friend Ian on Facebook, I feel pretty safe just flat out stealing the following introductory text for this story from him, and none of you will be any the wiser. The perfect crime!
For years, Charles Wesley Mumbere worked as a nurse's aide in Maryland and Pennsylvania, caring for the elderly and sick. No one there suspected that he had inherited a royal title in his African homeland when he was just 13.
On Monday, after years of political upheaval and financial struggle, Mumbere, 56, was finally crowned king of his people to the sound of drumbeats and thousands of cheering supporters wearing cloth printed with his portraits.
Now I just have to wait for Ian to inherit a royal title that I can lift, and I'm totally in there!
The New York Times has a slide-show up with pictures of the protests outside this weekend's G20 Summit in Pittsburgh. And among the photos was this one featuring The Daily Show's John Oliver talking to a gentleman who I assume was there to protest the deleterious effects of globalization on the plaid forests of Micronesia.
The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.
This is better news than I could have hoped for today…
Politico has learned [Rick] Santorum will visit first-in-the-nation Iowa this fall for a series of appearances before the sort of conservative activists who dominate the state GOP's key presidential caucuses.
Oh my God! If Jesus hadn't already invented rainbows 6,000 years ago, he'd be inventing them today.
Okay, it's not official. He's not admitting that he's running for Republican nomination. But he's not admitting that he's not.
But seriously, can you imagine a Sarah Palin/Rick Santorum head-to-head battle for the flaming cremains of the GOP? There'll be crazy juice dripping from your computer monitors and TV screens day and night!
I have to hunker down and try really hard to not get hit by a bus and not get the Pig AIDS because I do not want to die before the '12 primaries and have to miss that. I'd never forgive myself.
Some of my fellow Phillies fans seem to be taking exception with a joke from last night's Daily Show in which Jon Stewart — a Mets fan, unfortunately — jokes that launching a missile toward Hawaii on the 4th of July would be like "being an asshole in Philadelphia".
Last night, in the middle (around the 2 minute mark) of a segment on Kim Jong Il's latest missile threat, the Daily Show host took the opportunity to take a swing at Philadelphians, saying, basically, that we're all assholes. Why does this fill me with douchey irrational rage?
I understand how he feels. In fact, after seeing that clip earlier this afternoon, I was — for, like, twelve seconds — kind of similarly annoyed.
But then I remembered that we're the reigning World Series Champions and currently leading the division, and the Mets are pretty much made of ass.
Since I have a feeling a good majority of you don't follow my friend Ian on Facebook, I feel pretty safe just flat out stealing the following introductory text for this story from him, and none of you will be any the wiser. The perfect crime!
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* One in twelve New Jerseyans 
This is 
Some of my fellow Phillies fans seem to be taking exception with a joke from last night's Daily Show in which Jon Stewart — a Mets fan, unfortunately — jokes that launching a missile toward Hawaii on the 4th of July would be like "
