Anyway…

Hey, it just goes to show you, if you work hard and apply yourself, one day you can become king of Uganda…

For years, Charles Wesley Mumbere worked as a nurse's aide in Maryland and Pennsylvania, caring for the elderly and sick. No one there suspected that he had inherited a royal title in his African homeland when he was just 13.

On Monday, after years of political upheaval and financial struggle, Mumbere, 56, was finally crowned king of his people to the sound of drumbeats and thousands of cheering supporters wearing cloth printed with his portraits.

Now I just have to wait for Ian to inherit a royal title that I can lift, and I'm totally in there!

The New York Times has a slide-show up with pictures of the protests outside this weekend's G20 Summit in Pittsburgh. And among the photos was this one featuring The Daily Show's John Oliver talking to a gentleman who I assume was there to protest the deleterious effects of globalization on the plaid forests of Micronesia.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

* One in twelve New Jerseyans even dumber than you think they are.

* I'll bet I could spend all 24,000,000,000 hours of the day reading through the #michellemalkinmath hashtag on Twitter.

* Orly Taitz is just like an honorable version of Nelson Mandela.

* Is Bill O'Reilly endorsing socialism?

* Consider Philadelphia's two biggest issues — money and cheesesteaks — solved! Thanks, Dr. Phil!

And just think how much it'll improve with all the extra time Specter will be getting before you know it…

Part 1

Second half after the jump…

Part 2

Politico has learned [Rick] Santorum will visit first-in-the-nation Iowa this fall for a series of appearances before the sort of conservative activists who dominate the state GOP's key presidential caucuses.

Oh my God! If Jesus hadn't already invented rainbows 6,000 years ago, he'd be inventing them today.

Okay, it's not official. He's not admitting that he's running for Republican nomination. But he's not admitting that he's not.

But seriously, can you imagine a Sarah Palin/Rick Santorum head-to-head battle for the flaming cremains of the GOP? There'll be crazy juice dripping from your computer monitors and TV screens day and night!

I have to hunker down and try really hard to not get hit by a bus and not get the Pig AIDS because I do not want to die before the '12 primaries and have to miss that. I'd never forgive myself.

Here's Patrick Rapa from the Philadelphia City Paper…

Last night, in the middle (around the 2 minute mark) of a segment on Kim Jong Il's latest missile threat, the Daily Show host took the opportunity to take a swing at Philadelphians, saying, basically, that we're all assholes. Why does this fill me with douchey irrational rage?

I understand how he feels. In fact, after seeing that clip earlier this afternoon, I was — for, like, twelve seconds — kind of similarly annoyed.

But then I remembered that we're the reigning World Series Champions and currently leading the division, and the Mets are pretty much made of ass.

And then I felt a lot better.

A new Franklin & Marshall poll in Pennsylvania finds Sen. Arlen Specter's (D-PA) job approval rating dropped from 52% in March to 34% in June.

However, even more troubling for the senator is that the proportion of state residents who believe he deserves re-election has declined from 40% to 28%.

Quick! Is there some other political system for him to switch to! What about all this Iran stuff we've been hearing about? Are they looking for any new senators?

After a pivotal speech this morning, the President took a moment this afternoon to welcome the Superbowl Champions to the White House, along with approximately 50 Wounded Warriors from Walter Reed Army Medical Center and National Naval Medical Center and their families.

Afterwards they all joined up to work with USO to assemble 3,000 care packages for our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan.

That's pretty super classy of the Steelers. It's nice that we have athletes like that for kids to look up to.

Here's some footage directly from the White House's blog…

Yeah, sorry about that.

I was trying to be cool, but then at the last second my jealousy about any Pennsylvania football team that's not the Philadelphia Eagles winning the Super Bowl got the better of me.

The Steelers my be pretty super classy, but I am an embittered, shallow and vindictive small man.

So, instead of that video, here's something disturbing and unclean and much more in line with my current mode of thinking…

[E]ven as [Arlen Specter's] jilted former party slams the door behind him, the GOP is quietly pursuing a 2010 strategy that relies heavily on candidates nearly identical to Specter. The party’s road to winning back a Senate majority, it seems, is paved with moderates whose records are sure to make conservatives blanch.

For the National Republican Senatorial Committee’s recruitment list for 2010 reads like a roster of some of the party’s best-known RINOs (Republicans In Name Only) and squishes — the derisive terms applied to centrists by movement conservatives.

The article goes on to name some of the RINOs that the GOP is supposedly pursuing, including Florida Governor Charlie Crist and Delaware Rep. Michael Castle.

Wouldn't it be nice if this induced all the GOP's theocrats, neocons and xenophobes to splinter off and form their own irrellevant third-party so that they live out the rest of their lives campaigning to annoyed pedestrians while the rest of the GOP reverts back to something resembling the rational, fiscally-responsible party of Buckley and Goldwater?

I, personally, still probably wouldn't vote for them. But I also wouldn't fear for my life so much.

.

* Well, Sen. Jim Inhofe not included.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa! Hold it right there. I was under the impression that these Gitmo prisoners were gonna be relocated into new military prison cells where they would be guarded by soldiers and kept safely away from the general public.

If Obama's planning on moving them into the foreclosed house down the street, my parents' spare bedroom, and the crawl space under my nephew's crib — as this ad seems to be suggesting — I am not cool with that.