Keith Olbermann being very Keith-Olbermanny on the subject of the tribulations of Carrie Prejean…

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I really don't know whose interests Prejean serving more during all this nonsense: the anti-gay marriage camp, as its first official long-suffering martyr; or the pro-gay marriage camp, as a dumb-as-rocks face of religiously-motivated lock-step intolerance.

All I really do know is that I hate Perez Hilton even more now for having elevated this moron into the upper-echelon of ring-wing thinkers, alongside such luminaries as Joe the Plumber, Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck.

While we're on the subject…

Don't get me wrong. It was a lot of fun ripping into Miss California Carrie Prejean's feudal-era views on the sanctity of opposite marriage — even though Perez Hilton was pretty much a huge dick for dropping that on her in the middle of the most vapid evening of network television to begin with — but come on. Point made.

This girl is not the face of intolerance. She's the face of mindless herd-instinct mentality. Please, world, I beg you: Do not turn Carrie Prejean into a female Joe the Plumber. Please!

That would be redundant anyway. We already have Sarah Palin.

Remember Miss California Carrie Prejean, that brave little leathery beauty contestant who boldly took a stand against civil liberties in front of — I don't know — dozens of TV viewers over the weekend and ultimately ended up losing the pageant?

Well, it turns out that it wasn't her fault she lost or made an idiot of herself on television. It was God's will…

"Out of all the topics I studied up on, I dreaded that one; I prayed I would not be asked about gay marriage," Prejean told the Fox News Channel's Courtney Friel in an exclusive interview. "If I had any other question, I know I would have won."

Wow! She truly will be remembered as one of the great martyrs of Christendom.

In her interview with Friel, Prejean explained that, ultimately, the greatest judge of her character was not the one who asked her the question, but the one who doesn't need a TV camera to watch her answer.

Santa Claus is against gay marriage?

"This happened for a reason. By having to answer that question in front of a national audience, God was testing my character and faith," Prejean said. "I'm glad I stayed true to myself."

Oh, God. Duh!

Wait, so God fixed it so Miss California would lose? Even after the whole state voted to roll back homosexuals' rights to marry?

Oh. I'll bet he's still mad about Brokeback Mountain.

The gay marriage controversy — tired of being fought out in the court rooms, voting booths and halls of state legislature — has spilled over into a much more sensical battleground: The Miss USA Pageant.

Miss California — not content to simply undermine young women's sense of self-worth — decides to also go after gay rights when Perez Hilton — who seems to be fighting his own weird war against mainstream acceptance of homosexuals — asks her the most leadingest and politically charged question ever asked of a person who's only job qualification is a willingness to burn cancer directly into her skin.

And, yes, its just as smart an argument as you think it is.