We know that November 3, 2009 isn't a real Election Day. But still, we can all pretend. Right? Take a look at these six elections and let us know how much you care.
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If you happen to be in Philadelphia, the City of Brotherly Fringe Festival, this weekend, you might want to overcome your lifetime aversion to opera long enough to catch The Gonzales Cantata. Yep, that's "Gonzales" as in memory-challenged former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, and "cantata" as in "fancy singing thing."
Check it out:
Brava! Bellissimo! Grande latte!
Now, when do we get the synchronized swimming routine about Abu Ghraib?
Some of my fellow Phillies fans seem to be taking exception with a joke from last night's Daily Show in which Jon Stewart — a Mets fan, unfortunately — jokes that launching a missile toward Hawaii on the 4th of July would be like "being an asshole in Philadelphia".
Last night, in the middle (around the 2 minute mark) of a segment on Kim Jong Il's latest missile threat, the Daily Show host took the opportunity to take a swing at Philadelphians, saying, basically, that we're all assholes. Why does this fill me with douchey irrational rage?
I understand how he feels. In fact, after seeing that clip earlier this afternoon, I was — for, like, twelve seconds — kind of similarly annoyed.
But then I remembered that we're the reigning World Series Champions and currently leading the division, and the Mets are pretty much made of ass.
It was quite possibly the single biggest turning point in American history: Philadelphia in that halcyon year of '76.
I'm speaking, of course, of 1976, when the Philadelphia 76ers somehow managed to acquire Julius "Dr. J" Erving from the New York Nets, beginning one of the greatest team dynasties in sports history and giving short, awkward, un-athletic white kids like me a reason to like basketball.
Oh, and, come to think of it, I think some really important world power was founded exactly two-hundred years earlier.
It looks like Clinton pulled off a 10 point 9 point lead, which is better than people expected these past few days, but not nearly as much as she was supposed to win by a few weeks ago. What this appears to mean is: no change. The groundhog has seen its shadow; at least another two weeks of Democratic infighting.
She did look very good in her victory speech: gracious and confident. And poor. She's obviously bleeding cash after fighting to keep up with Bitter O'Moneypants.
Speaking of which, I've never been so bored by transcendent hope. For a guy who's fantastic at delivering speeches, Barack Obama needs to work on his speechifying.
I just watched this video of Pennsylvania Governor (then Philadelphia Mayor) Ed Rendell from back in 1997, and I don't understand it.
Why? Why? Why in the world would Ed Rendell be praising Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan?
I don't even mean that as an insult to Farrakhan (I'm sure he loves his kids, or whatever), but it just seems like a remarkably weird thing for a politician — a Jewish politician — to do. Didn't he realize that eleven years later, he would be a major player in the presidential race?
I can't imagine this will have a huge (or any) effect on the Pennsylvania primaries — being that Rendell is an outspoken Clinton supporter — but I wonder if this will make any waves in the wake of Obama's Jeremiah Wright "scandal." I mean, this would be equally as stupid.
* One in twelve New Jerseyans even dumber than you think they are.
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Some of my fellow Phillies fans seem to be taking exception with a joke from last night's Daily Show in which Jon Stewart — a Mets fan, unfortunately — jokes that launching a missile toward Hawaii on the 4th of July would be like "
