This guy!

Okay, it's not official yet, but it's looking really good for Oscar Goodman — the Independent current mayor of Las Vegas, Philadelphia native, and celebrity spokesperson for Bombay Gin — to announce his next big move in the near future. And announce it in style…

"I envision making my announcement to run for governor with showgirls on my arm. If [the people] don't like it, they can vote for someone else. And if I'm governor, I'll cavort with showgirls and I'll keep drinking my gin and betting on anything that moves," Goodman told the Philadelphia Inquirer, his hometown paper. "I won't change!"

You had me at "run for governor with showgirls on my arm." You had me at "run for governor with showgirls on my arm."

* One in twelve New Jerseyans even dumber than you think they are.

* I'll bet I could spend all 24,000,000,000 hours of the day reading through the #michellemalkinmath hashtag on Twitter.

* Orly Taitz is just like an honorable version of Nelson Mandela.

* Is Bill O'Reilly endorsing socialism?

* Consider Philadelphia's two biggest issues — money and cheesesteaks — solved! Thanks, Dr. Phil!

If you happen to be in Philadelphia, the City of Brotherly Fringe Festival, this weekend, you might want to overcome your lifetime aversion to opera long enough to catch The Gonzales Cantata. Yep, that's "Gonzales" as in memory-challenged former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, and "cantata" as in "fancy singing thing."

Check it out:

Brava! Bellissimo! Grande latte!

Now, when do we get the synchronized swimming routine about Abu Ghraib?

Some of my fellow Phillies fans seem to be taking exception with a joke from last night's Daily Show in which Jon Stewart — a Mets fan, unfortunately — jokes that launching a missile toward Hawaii on the 4th of July would be like "being an asshole in Philadelphia".

Here's Patrick Rapa from the Philadelphia City Paper…

Last night, in the middle (around the 2 minute mark) of a segment on Kim Jong Il's latest missile threat, the Daily Show host took the opportunity to take a swing at Philadelphians, saying, basically, that we're all assholes. Why does this fill me with douchey irrational rage?

I understand how he feels. In fact, after seeing that clip earlier this afternoon, I was — for, like, twelve seconds — kind of similarly annoyed.

But then I remembered that we're the reigning World Series Champions and currently leading the division, and the Mets are pretty much made of ass.

And then I felt a lot better.

It was quite possibly the single biggest turning point in American history: Philadelphia in that halcyon year of '76.

I'm speaking, of course, of 1976, when the Philadelphia 76ers somehow managed to acquire Julius "Dr. J" Erving from the New York Nets, beginning one of the greatest team dynasties in sports history and giving short, awkward, un-athletic white kids like me a reason to like basketball.

Oh, and, come to think of it, I think some really important world power was founded exactly two-hundred years earlier.

Go back to Day 77.

Mopping Up: The night belongs to Hillary Clinton.

It looks like Clinton pulled off a 10 point 9 point lead, which is better than people expected these past few days, but not nearly as much as she was supposed to win by a few weeks ago. What this appears to mean is: no change. The groundhog has seen its shadow; at least another two weeks of Democratic infighting.

She did look very good in her victory speech: gracious and confident. And poor. She's obviously bleeding cash after fighting to keep up with Bitter O'Moneypants.

Speaking of which, I've never been so bored by transcendent hope. For a guy who's fantastic at delivering speeches, Barack Obama needs to work on his speechifying.

Oh, and Pat Buchanan is a brain dead idiot.

Read the complete liveblog after the jump.

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