The Supreme Court voted 5-4 to block the broadcast of a federal trial in California testing whether a voter initiative against gay marriage violates the Constitution.

The proposition's defenders said broadcasting the proceedings could expose witnesses favoring the gay-marriage ban to harassment and ridicule. The Supreme Court majority backed that view, saying Proposition 8 supporters would likely suffer "irreparable harm" if the proceedings were shown through the closed-circuit feed.

Harassment and ridicule! Good call. I know I've read hundreds of articles about gay teens shouting things like "eff you, you effing f-word hater" at their anti-gay peers. Whatever happened to tolerance?

And irreparable harm, I mean, that's the kind of harm you can't undo. That's as permanent as losing thousands of dollars in tax credits, Medicare benefits and health insurance because you can't call your partner of 40 years your spouse. Thank goodness we're finally making real progress on civil rights in this country.

"Actually putting witnesses on the stand has never been done before in any lawsuit claiming a right to same-sex marriage," said Proposition 8 campaign attorney Andy Pugno. "So this is a very out-of-the-ordinary approach."

David Boies, a lawyer for the challengers of the ballot measure, said he expected the case would reach the Supreme Court in the fall of 2011.

"This is the first time that you will have this kind of record being made" on the social, religious and legal implications of same-sex marriage, said Boies, who represented former Vice President Al Gore in Bush vs. Gore, the Supreme Court case that gave George W. Bush the presidency.

Theodore B. Olson, a conservative attorney who represented Bush in that case, is working with Boies to overturn Proposition 8.

What?! Olson and Boies, working together on the same side to protect citizens' civil rights? The Gore-hugging liberal and his conservative nemesis, the man who fought to make 2004-2008 as disastrous possible? What is going on? Did someone dump a truckload of reason in the California water supply? Has everyone caught a sudden case of sanity?

One of the [Prop 8] campaign sponsors who intervened asked [Judge Vaughn] Walker on Friday to drop him as a defendant. He said he feared for his and his family's safety.

The sponsor, Bill Tam, had tried to attract votes for Proposition 8 by arguing that same-sex marriage would lead to children becoming homosexual and other states falling into "Satan's hands." A decision on whether Tam can withdraw from the case is pending.

Right, never mind.

This video comes from some smartypants called RescueMarriage.org who think their pants are so smart that they introduced the 2010 California Marriage Protection Act — which not-completely-genuinely aims to protect marriage from the evils of divorce — in response to last year's Proposition 8 — which genuinely genuinely genuinely aimed to protect marriage from the evils of marriage.

And it looks like they'll be assembling next month…

On November 14, 2009, thousands of Californians will be united in a common cause as we march on the state capitol building to demand a return to traditional values as part of our petition kick-off event.

Participate in democracy the American way, by shouting angrily, using inflammatory rhetoric and memorizing jingoistic slogans to chant or misspell on signs.

I'm curious to see what their protest march looks like. No way that those people will be funnier than these people.

"One of them said, 'Obama, keep your promise,' and I thought that's fair," he said. "I don't know which promise he was talking about."

The crowd cracked up.

Hahahahahahaha! Oh, my! What a wonderfully witty president we have.

And it's so true. There's no possible way of knowing "which promise he was talking about." I mean, was it the promise to end Don't Ask, Don't Tell? Or the one to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act? Could'a been either. Or any of the other promises he made to the homosexual community and social liberals in general.

Too bad that silly gay guy wasn't more specific, huh?

February 23, 2004: A Giant Homosexual Taunt

May 11, 2005: This Week in God

June 6, 2006: Gay Marriage Ban

December 11, 2008: Proposition 8

April 6, 2009: Queer Eye for the Hawkeye

April 8, 2009: I Now Pronounce You Ben & Jerry

May 20, 2009: Gay Marriage Is Bad for Small Business

The California Supreme Court upheld a ban on same-sex marriage today, ratifying a decision made by voters last year that runs counter to a growing trend of states allowing the practice…

Today's decision, written by Chief Justice Ronald M. George for a 6-to-1 majority, said that same-sex couples still have the right to civil unions, which gives them the ability to "choose one's life partner and enter with that person into a committed, officially recognized, and protected family relationship that enjoys all of the constitutionally based incidents of marriage." But the justices said that the voters had clearly expressed their will to limit the formality of marriage to heterosexual couples.

You sure are going out of your way to prove what a big, strong, heterosexual, traditional-values state you are there, Golden State.

But, you know what? You're not fooling anyone.

Well, it turns out that it wasn't her fault she lost or made an idiot of herself on television. It was God's will…

"Out of all the topics I studied up on, I dreaded that one; I prayed I would not be asked about gay marriage," Prejean told the Fox News Channel's Courtney Friel in an exclusive interview. "If I had any other question, I know I would have won."

Wow! She truly will be remembered as one of the great martyrs of Christendom.

In her interview with Friel, Prejean explained that, ultimately, the greatest judge of her character was not the one who asked her the question, but the one who doesn't need a TV camera to watch her answer.

Santa Claus is against gay marriage?

"This happened for a reason. By having to answer that question in front of a national audience, God was testing my character and faith," Prejean said. "I'm glad I stayed true to myself."

Oh, God. Duh!

Wait, so God fixed it so Miss California would lose? Even after the whole state voted to roll back homosexuals' rights to marry?

Oh. I'll bet he's still mad about Brokeback Mountain.

In what could become a watershed moment for LGBT activism in the Empire State, senior New York Sen. Chuck Schumer announced last night he now supports marriage for same-sex couples and is committed to a full repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act…

"It’s time," Schumer’s office said in a statement to the Daily News. "Equality is something that has always been a hallmark of America and no group should be deprived of it. New York, which has always been at the forefront on issues of equality, is appropriately poised to take a lead on this issue."

Oh, how nice! This'll give the Mormons an opportunity to come and visit and see their old birthplace. They can take breaks from subjugating minority groups and fighting against civil liberties to go antiquing and stuff.

Oh, that might get awkward, though.

For example, look at this nice scene: a hot young mom bringing her racially diverse family out to support the gays, even though she clearly has no reason to do so. It's nice to see the straights picking up the cause…

I don't see a Mr. Hot Mom anywhere near by. I wonder if she's single. (Wait a minute. There's something weird about that hot mom. That's not Ann Coulter, is it?)

Andrew Sullivan also sees a good side…

The Justices seemed highly skeptical – and rightly so – that a voters' initiative could not change the results of a controversial court decision. Since the No On 8 forces campaigned last year under the same assumption, it's a little rich to see them now protest that the vote was not a real one anyway and they engaged in it only on the assurance that they would win.

Moreover, if the court upholds Prop 8, we avoid giving the Hewitts and Romneys and Santora their "black robes" moment, an endless harangue about evil judges despotically dictating to God-fearing Americans. I've been in enough of those arguments to want to avoid them in future. They deflect debate from the real issue: that gay marriage is good for gays, straights and society as a whole. They give bigots a legitimate reason to oppose our equality, while allowing them to avoid the real arguments for it.

So, everybody wins. The gays and the bigots are equally blessed!

And lots of religious people are doubly blessed.

* The Weekly Standard's Fred Barnes won't do your research for you. Hey, he won't even do his own research for himself!

* If you think the Bernie Madoff scandal makes you sick now, wait till you experience it in musical form.

* Facebook group "1,000,000 Strong to Strip the Mormon Church of its Tax Exempt Status" only short by about 9,995,000 members or so.

* Reason mag looks into President Obama's War on the Economy.

* Joe Lieberman, just as popular in his home state as you'd expect him to be.

* I almost wrote that Governor Schwarzenegger was planning to terminate thousands of jobs, but then I thought better of it.

Look, these people just want to live their lives the way they prefer — making sure that a small minority of the population is denied the right to live their lives the way they prefer — in quiet, anonymous isolation from consequence. Why can't we just leave these people alone, so that they can get back to interfering with our personal freedoms in peace…

A federal judge Thursday denied a request by Proposition 8 supporters to withhold disclosure of late campaign donors to California's same-sex marriage ban, saying the public has a right to know.

Claiming donors have been harassed, attorneys for Proposition 8 had sought a preliminary injunction to keep secret the identities of 1,600 donors who made contributions just before or after voters approved the measure on Nov. 4.

They asserted that First Amendment rights to be free from retaliation outweigh the state's interest in disclosure.

The judge, unfortunately, disagreed, stating that "the state is not facilitating retaliation by compelling disclosure."

Well, maybe not. But it's certainly not facilitating a bunch of covert gay-bashing, either. And isn't that really what the state is supposed to be doing? (I mean, secretly. Like, on the DL.)

Here's the problem with this: If people aren't allowed to anonymously shovel money into campaigns against minority groups, then shoveling money into campaigns against minority groups suddenly gets less fun. Because then you might have to take responsibility for your actions and convictions, and nobody wants to do that if your actions and convictions are mean-spirited and petty.

So, what happens is you get less people funding these hate campaigns against minorities, and then you get less people hating minorities. And then, eventually, people start to think about minorities as if they were actual people who live actual lives full of actual emotions and relationships. And that's when things start getting totally out of control.

I mean, look what happened with the blacks.

Well, not on Bobby Jindal's watch it's not. And if you have any doubts, just look toward his incredibly forward-thinking Louisiana Commission on Marriage and Family…

Jindal's Commission is going to be looking at – and making recommendations regarding – marriage and family issues within the state. And a quick look at some of those appointed by the Governor to serve on the panel leaves no doubt that, in the end, the line-up will do nothing more than promote an extreme, anti-gay agenda that sets back, blocks and battles any attempts to recognize or respect Louisiana's same-sex families.

Among those who have been appointed by Jindal to serve on the Commission are Tony Perkins (who hails from Baton Rouge), the president of the anti-gay advocacy group known as The Family Research Council… Gene Mills, executive director of the far-right Louisiana Family Forum… Mike Johnson, senior legal counsel for the Alliance Defense Fund… and numerous members of the clergy. All, Jindal has said, "have significant academic and/or professional expertise" on issues of marriage and family.

Whew! That's a relief.

But who will keep West Virginia safe?

Jesus!

I see a definite conflict of interest between his not being more supportive of opposed to* Prop 8 and walking around looking like that.

I think he's trying to take away my right to get married one day.

* Whoops. I always make that mistake. Thanks for correcting me.

Activists on both sides of the gay marriage debate were shocked this November, when a typographical error in California's Proposition 8 changed the state constitution to restrict marriage to a union between "one man and one wolfman," instantly nullifying every marriage except those comprised of an adult male and his lycanthrope partner.

"The people of California made their voices heard today, and reaffirmed our age-old belief that the only union sanctioned in God's eyes is the union between a man and another man possessed by an ungodly lupine curse," state Sen. Tim McClintock said at a hastily organized rally celebrating passage of the new law.

This just made me feel that much worse for my current case of can't-think-of-a-decent-joke-to-save-my-life-itis.

Here's just a short list of some of your favorite comedians and actors who will almost certainly spend eternity in perdition for their roles in this musical sketch protesting California's recently-passed constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage: Jack Black, John C. Reilly, Maya Rudolph, Margaret Cho, Andy Richter and Neil Patrick Harris.

Why can't people just get it through their heads: Jesus hates community theater.

A 4-year legal battle for same-sex marriage in Connecticut came to an end this morning in a New Haven courtroom when Superior Court Judge Jonathan E. Silbert signed an order paving the way to couples to get their licenses…

"We…think about the heartbreaking vote in California, knowing that a justice movement is not won or lost by one case or one vote," said Bennett Klein, an attorney with the Boston-based Gay and Lesbian Advocates and Defenders, which litigated the case. "Today Connecticut sends a message of hope and promise to lesbian and gay people throughout the country who want to be treated as equal citizens by their government."

The crossing trajectories of the two states is puzzling, since California's Proposition 8 vote was clearly the greatest proof of God's existence since he sent His Son to revisit Earth as a Cheeto.

But now we turn around and find that Connecticut has been seized by Lucifer and Bette Midler. Which begs the question: What on earth has gotten into God? Gay marriage is already legal in neighboring Massachusetts. And Vermont and New Hampshire have civil unions. Is the plan to just surround Mitt Romney from all sides until he cries "uncle" and marries Tom Brady?

Actually, ol' Mitt won't get to spend much time staring down gay marriage in New England. His appointment calendar already has him spending most of the next four years in Iowa.

* Apparently, "Barack" and "Rahm" mean lightning and thunder in Hebrew. And, interestingly enough, congresspeople will be able to know how serious a situation is by counting the seconds between when Obama says something and Emanuel comes around to break their arms.

* Do not misunderestimate Rahm Emanuel's vocal eloquence.

* Did you know? Chuck Norris once became popular for no apparent reason whatsoever.

* Matt Drudge, like your finer forms of fungus, will just never go away completely.

* Mormons thrilled they get to tell other people their marriages are fucked up.

He urged backers of gay marriage to follow the lesson he learned as a bodybuilder trying to lift weights that were too heavy for him at first. "I learned that you should never ever give up… They should never give up. They should be on it and on it until they get it done."

Schwarzenegger's position toward gay and lesbian citizens has evolved since he referred to his opponents as "economic girlie men." It probably helped that…

* As a man who once gave birth, he knows what it's like to be a little different.

* If they ban gay marriage, who's to say they won't also ban random groping of female aides?

* His uncle-in-law, Ted Kennedy, is the gayest man alive, except for the part about wanting to have sex with other men.

Not to mention that with teachers, nurses, prison guards and straight people in general now opposing Schwarzenegger, the gay vote may be all he has left.

While the rest of the country was busy taking a huge step forward by electing a black president, that ultra-conservative state of California was busy stepping backwards and voting to amend their state constitution to take away gay people's right to get married. It figures. If there's one state that screams out "anti-gay," it's California. Can't you just see the people dancing in the streets of San Francisco after finding out that their hate-filled Proposition 8 passed.

There's been lots of blame going around for why Prop 8 passed, and a lot of it has landed firmly on the firm shoulders of religious organizations. After all the Mormons and James Dobson's Focus on the Family funneled millions of dollars into California (from their HQs outside the state). And the lack of support from many black churches certainly didn't help none.

However, there is one religious group that was definitely not to blame: the Jews…

On Proposition 8, Jewish Angelinos voted 78 percent against the ban while only 8 percent supported the ban, according to the survey of 1,200 voters in 50 precincts. The remainder declined to respond. The Jews’ vote against the ban was the highest proportion of any ethnic or religious group.

78 percent? That's huge.

Wow! It's almost like Jewish people might have a feeling about what it's like to be marginalized and oppressed.

* Wedding Crashers

* 8: Men Out

* Wedding Banned

* Indecent Proposition

* Eight Is Annulled

* Proposition Hate

* Go East, Young Men

* The Boys in the Banned