Two of President Obama's tippy-top-most advisers — in what was certainly not an orchestrated maneuver — dropped some mind-blowing bombshells on the landscape of American journalism over the weekend, accusing Fox News of being — of all things! — not a real news organization…

White House chief of staff Rahm Emanuel told rival cable channel CNN's "State of the Union" that Obama considers Fox News "not a news organization so much as it has a perspective."…

Obama's closest political adviser, David Axelrod, told ABC's "This Week" that Fox News "is really not news. It's pushing a point of view."

First of all, their accusations are absurd on their face. Fox News has the word "news" right in its name. It's not called Fox Perspective or Fox Propaganda or Fox Republican Talking Points, right?

Second of all, my Uncle Mitch says that Fox News isn't only a real news organization, but the only real news organization. Are Emanuel and Axelrod accusing my Uncle Mitch of lying? He's a real American patriot; he must have at least twelve flags on his pick-up. How many do they have on theirs?

Fox News, for its part, responded as any legitimate news organization would: by declaring that the White House has declared "war" on them and asking its viewers to vote on why the administration is so mean…

Unfortunately, they left off the most obvious answer option: That it is in the employ of The Devil. Oh man, their ombudsman is gonna be embarrassed.

As of press time, Glenn Beck could not be reached for crying.

If you saw last night's Daily Show, you saw Jon Stewart expose Congress's longstanding practice of wasting time and avoiding real work by demanding apologies that at best will accomplish nothing and at worst will never come at all. It's truly shameful, so I hereby demand that all legislation be put on hold until the entire United States Congress personally apologizes to each American citizen one at a time.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

Did you catch that fellow who hollered "You lie!" during the president's big health care speech, as if he were home in the privacy of his own Cheeto-flecked recliner? Who would do such a thing? Was it some newbie intern who got tipsy on Eric Cantor's moonshine? No, it was Rep. Joe Wilson, Republican from — oh, where else — South Carolina.

What do we know about Rep. Joe Wilson of South Carolina? First of all, his official House website is down for maintenance, probably to remove bugs like "the office telephone number." Also, he is very, very apologizing for his actions…

"This evening I let my emotions get the best of me," he said in a statement. "While I disagree with the president's statement, my comments were inappropriate and regrettable. I extend sincere apologies to the president for this lack of civility."

He then tried to call Obama to apologize personally, but ended up talking with White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel instead, Wilson's office said.

Ahahahaha, that must have been a pleasant conversation (for Rahm Emanuel). But seriously, what do you expect a Congressperson of conscience to do when the president of the United States is standing right in front of him, telling lies?

Other than vote "yea," I mean.

Catching up from the long weekend: While you were spending quality time at home with your little Six-Packs, White House "green jobs czar" Van Jones was packing the contents of his desk into a 100% post-consumer recycled cardboard box, because he, ahh, decided to resign. Just of his own free will and stuff.

Now why would he do such a thing, at a time when our country needs jobs — of any color — more than ever? Well, turns out Van Jones has some crazy skeletons in his closet, like the time he aligned himself with controversial political ideas and the time he called Republicans a bad word, specifically, 'assholes.'

Unheard of! Unprecedented! No wonder this fellow had to be removed, from the Obama White House, where swearing and controversy simply are not tolerated!

I'm sure administration officials want to get past this quickly as possible, so they can get back to indoctrinating your children, but I am also willing to bet that Rahm Emanuel woke up this morning with the head of a solar panel in his bed.

Who needs waterboarding and sleep deprivation when you've got a good baker…

00Bama, Episode 1: Barack Vs. Domestic Terrorism

From Atom.com's Is the Obama Honeymoon Over? channel.

Submitted by Greg.