Yeah, that right! According to the Missouri Information Analysis Center, it's militia-joining time!

"Due to the current economical and political situation, a lush environment for militia activity has been created," the Feb. 20 report reads. "Unemployment rates are high, as well as costs of living expenses. Additionally, President Elect Barrack [sic] Obama is seen as tight on gun control and many extremists fear that he will enact firearms confiscations."

MIAC is one of 58 so-called "fusion centers" nationwide that were created by the Department of Homeland Security, in part, to collect local intelligence that authorities can use to combat terrorism and related criminal activities.

You don't have to pitch to me anymore of your silly fearful plan to spy on U.S. citizens. 'Cause I'm sold! I'm joinin' up one of them there militias you speak of.

Let's see… I've already got the unkempt beard and festering misanthropy. What are some of the other requirements?

People who supported former third-party presidential candidates like Texas Rep. Ron Paul, Chuck Baldwin and former Georgia Rep. Bob Barr are cited in the report, in addition to anti-abortion activists and conspiracy theorists who believe the United States, Mexico and Canada will someday form a North American Union.

"Militia members most commonly associate with 3rd party political groups," the report reads. "It is not uncommon for militia members to display Constitutional Party, Campaign for Liberty or Libertarian material."

Oh, bummer. I was hoping to join a group of disaffected guerrilla soldiers living in the woods, arming myself against imaginary threats and gleefully defecating into freshly-dug holes in the ground.

I didn't know I'd have to hang out with crazy people.

Considering that this post will be the 4,556th one we've published, you can probably imagine how difficult a task this was for us. But these are some of the ones that stuck out in our minds…

Gonzalo Cordova
MoveOn.org Needs to MoveOn.org Already

Dennis DiClaudio
Booing John McCain: A Short Play

Karen Lurie
John McCain's Guide to Training Women in the Workplace

Eric March
This Fall, John McCain Dies for Our Sins. Forever. Again.

Mary Phillips-Sandy
Gutsy Half-Hour Revolt Earns One Reporter Thirty Inane Seconds with Sarah Palin

G. Xavier Robillard
Expatriate Clinton Donor Expatriates Herself to John McCain

Dylan Ris
The Following 5 Democrats and 8 Republicans Called Sarah Palin a Pig and Hate Women in General

Ethan Ris
Scofflaw Homeless People Flagrantly Vote in Ohio

Matthew Tobey
Dennis Miller Is the Tigris and Euphrates of Outrage-Incitement

David Waters
Proven Winner Ralph Nader Gives Obama Golden Political Advice

And we'd be remiss if we didn't also take note of our very early April endorsement of Alan Keyes for president.

See you all in 2009.

And their findings are quite interesting.

But, first, here's a cat on a Roomba…

Hahahahaha. That's so awesome. Go, cat, go!

Anyway, what were we talking about? Oh yeah…

Cats are funny.

Anyone who sails with the Nader crowd deserves nothing more than ridicule.

Fuck Ralph Nader, and fuck his supporters. If the past eight years hasn't smacked any sense into their addled brains, then nothing will. This site caters to the reality-based community. No one else need apply.

Alright, I know what you're thinking. It's unfair of me to pick out a random comment and post it as though it represents the site as a whole or the site's founder, Markos Moulitsas. And you're right.

That's why I didn't do that. That was Markos Moulitsas.

That guy's gonna be some lucky president's chief of staff one day.

He's going to have egg on his face when he ends up winning California, Texas, Washington, Oregon, Colorado, Nevada, Hawaii, Montana, Alaska, Idaho, Utah, Alaska, Missouri and Florida.

So let's meet the real candidates for change, running as anywhere from 7th-party to 16th-party candidates on a ballot near you. (This is especially true if you live in Colorado, where all sixteen are on the ballot.)

You can refresh 538.com all the live long day, and all it will get you is a bunch of math. Paul Scheer knows where the real electoral predictors are.

This reminds me of the the time I dressed up as Ross Perot for my high school marching band's Halloween party. The double-stick tape on my comically large nose kept coming unglued to my glasses, so I spent most of the night in the bathroom trying to fix my costume. Also, now that I think about it, it was junior year, which means it was in 1993. Not even an election year.

And that's when I won my first Nobel Awesomeness Prize.

His recent attempt to get into the Guinness Book of World Records.

As the good people of Iran were thwarted in their attempt to construct the World's Longest Sandwich, Ralph Nader claims to have set the record for the most speeches given in a 24-hour period.

To qualify he staged the so-called "Massachusetts Marathon" to give at least 15 speeches for a duration of 10 minutes each. Also required was the daunting attendance of at least 10 people at each stop, none of whom could be affiliated with the campaign, which must have been daunting, given it was double his average per speech.

As a Bostonite, I could have attended the Marathon, but stayed home, for fear that I might have obtained the record for "fastest tearing out the eyeballs of a Presidential candidate."

Though I'm not sure Nader has the public support to actually fall into that category.

So get psyched: it's the third-party presidential debate! It will be held this Sunday. Sure, maybe Obama and McCain won't be there, but plenty of other swell folks will be.

It will be held in a classroom at Columbia University — an Ivy League venue, which is pretty impressive considering all that those "big guys" could muster was Hofstra. And best of all, it will be broadcast on a famous national network that reaches every cable-subscribing home in America! (C-SPAN.)

Needless to say, each of the candidates is expected to spend the bulk of his/her time pandering to Joe the Plumber. Here's each of the participants and their strategy…

* Bob Barr, the Libertarian Party candidate, will promise that Joe will never need to pay taxes again, nor worry about the government intruding on his life by doing things like paving roads and fighting fires.

* Chuck Baldwin, the Constitution Party candidate, will propose a Constitutional amendment outlawing flag-burning, gay marriage, abortion, the teaching of evolution, and turning down Joe the Plumber when he asks you out on a date.

* Ralph Nader, the independent candidate, will vow to steal enough votes away from Obama that somehow Joe will become president.

* Cynthia McKinney, the Green Party candidate, will offer to punch a Capitol Police officer in the face on behalf of Joe.