Being a Latino voter, I can only process information if it's narrated by a Telemundo voice-over. Now that both candidates have released attack ads in Spanish, I can finally make my pick for president.

John McCain has the first entry, or as it's said in Spanish, "entry-o"…

Obama thinks all Americans should learn Spanish, but the truth is most Americans need a translator just to tell their gardeners they'll be cutting their pay. Tough times, Fernando, but thanks for trimming the hedges.

So I'll break down this foreign gibberish for you…

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