Call them what you will — puppets, dummies, inanimate objects being controlled by more powerful forces — but they control the world in which we live. Or, to be more precise, they are controlled into controlling the world in which we live.

For more-entertaining, less-politically-damaging puppets, tune into the new Comedy Central series The Jeff Dunham Show premiering this Thursday, October 22 at 9pm / 8c.

This Sesame Street clip is brought to you by the letter T(bag)…

(via Little Green Footballs)

Here we have the latest fodder for the War on Indoctrination, which is being fought by the brave men and women on our nation's talk shows. This isn't quite as catchy as "Mm Mm Mmm Barack Hussein Obama," but it is still very upsetting, unless you have also been brainwashed.

Say, you know what else elementary schools indoctrinate children with, on a daily basis? Math. Yet I still see people using calculators to figure out the tip in restaurants.

In other words, these indoctrinators better step up their game if they want a well-trained nation of mini-czars — get some flash cards, at least.

…terrifyingly adorable, that is. Just look at these precious widdle comrades singing a "rap song" about Dear Leader Hussein. It has hand motions and everything!

Notice how that one kid on the end was a bit off on the finger-snaps? She will be the first one they send to the work camps.

Gay marriage: is it really about gay people getting married? That's what they (the gays) want you to believe, but there's more here than meets the eye. Gay marriage, which masquerades as "gay marriage," is in fact a stealthy step toward another, more terrible destination.

No, not Elton John-themed honeymoon cruises. More terrible. Yes: SOCIALISM.

It's true, says Rep. Steve King…

King told a conservative news radio program: "If there's a push for a socialist society where the foundations of individual rights and liberties are undermined and everybody is thrown together living collectively off one pot of resources earned by everyone, this is one of the goals they have to go to, same sex marriage, because it has to plow through marriage in order to get to their goal. They want public affirmation, they want access to public funds and resources."

Think about it. It's like how dentistry is just a few steps away from facism*. Rep. King is just the guy to sound this important alarm, because he is from the gay-marrying state of Iowa, so he knows whereof he speaks…

"I said that if this is allowed to happen, Iowa would become the Mecca for same sex marriage, and that has begun to happen," King said.

Oh my God, it's even worse than I thought! After everyone gets forced into gay marriages, we'll be forcibly converted to Islam, and then the Socialist takeover happens.

And then, I guess, we'll just give up and start praying for God Allah to put us out of our misery.

^{* Dentists are licensed by "state boards." Need I say more?}

* One in twelve New Jerseyans even dumber than you think they are.

* I'll bet I could spend all 24,000,000,000 hours of the day reading through the #michellemalkinmath hashtag on Twitter.

* Orly Taitz is just like an honorable version of Nelson Mandela.

* Is Bill O'Reilly endorsing socialism?

* Consider Philadelphia's two biggest issues — money and cheesesteaks — solved! Thanks, Dr. Phil!