Lindsey Graham. Gramnesty. The Grahaminator. Bipartisaning up Congress. Graham-a-cap-and-trade-a-ding-dong. Grahambo.

Gettin' censured…

The Republican Party of Charleston, South Carolina has voted to censure Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) for working with Sen. John Kerry (D-MA) on cap-and-trade emissions legislation.

Sure, but why stop there? Bipartisan cooperation on climate change using facts and science is just the tip of the iceberg (Lindsey Graham). Here's a sampling of the other accusations the GOP (which, in our ongoing metaphor, would be the Titanic) has levied…

U.S. Senator Lindsey Graham has shown a condescending attitude toward his constituents by calling them "bigots" when they oppose his stance on amnesty for illegal aliens;

U.S. Senator Lindsey Graham has stated on many occasions that his primary concern is to "be relevant";

U.S. Senator Lindsey Graham – in the name of bipartisanship – continues to weaken the Republican brand and tarnish the ideals of freedom, rule of law, and fiscal conservatism.

It's hard to tell from the formal language of the censure resolution, but I'm pretty sure that "being relevant" part is what's most upsetting for the South Carolina GOP.

Relevance does seem to be the opposite of everything they stand for these days.

Next on the Almighty's to-smite list: The state of South Carolina, where an activist judge has ruled that a "Christian-themed license plate" (modeled on the Florida version, pictured above) is "unconstitutional" and will not go into production.

Really, Judge Cameron Currie? All of a sudden it's "unconstitutional" to believe?

[South Carolina Lt. Gov. Andre] Bauer, whose idea it was to pass the [I Believe Act] and who worked with Joe Mack, a prominent Baptist, to get it introduced, attacked Currie on Tuesday, calling her a "liberal judge appointed by (President) Bill Clinton."

Bauer said the ruling represented "another attack on Christianity" and that Currie "was using her personal wishes to overrule the Legislature and the will of the thousands of South Carolinians who want to purchase the tags."

Good to know there are still some believers out there who aren't afraid to believe, despite anti-believing judges who believe in nothing except the "First Amendment," which is what heathens and infidels cling to instead of God.

And I'm sure Lt. Gov. Bauer's argument wouldn't change at all if the plate's design were just a teeny bit different:

At least that's what I believe.

South Carolina GOP officials Edwin Merwin and James Ulmer have got their state's junior Senator Jim DeMint's back, like a Chinese guy has got your laundry.

In a recent editorial in S.C.'s The State & The Democrat newspaper — much like the ones in which Italians send dead fish to one another — they responded to a claim that DeMint is being less wise than an elderly black woman with regards to taxpayers' money…

Recently your newspaper published a letter from state Rep. Bakari Sellers attacking U.S. Sen. Jim DeMint and his opposition to congressional earmarks.

There is a saying that the Jews who are wealthy got that way not by watching dollars, but instead by taking care of the pennies and the dollars taking care of themselves. By not using earmarks to fund projects for South Carolina and instead using actual bills, DeMint is watching our nation's pennies and trying to preserve our country's wealth and our economy’s viability to give all an opportunity to succeed.

Oh! Jews and money! That I get! Before, I was like, What? I don't understand what all this responsible spending stuff is all about.

But, now finally someone has put this in terms that I can grasp, terms that I can use. Like a South Carolinian does with his sister.

Update: These guys are now apologizing more than a couple of Mexicans after putting too much chipotle on your tamale.

Looks like the Rep. Joe Wilson saga has officially jumped the plumber. Big Daddy YouLie! has, it seems, become the newest hero of the Republican Party…

Not many people get to sign their names to one of the [National Republican Congressional Committee]'s fundraising e-mails. Its chair, Pete Sessions, does — so does House Minority Leader John Boehner, and Rep. Tom Price, R-Ga., who's the leader of the House's conservative caucus. No one other than those three has done so since the end of June, at least not according to my inbox. But on Friday, Wilson did.

What's that? The guy who yelled nonsense at the President like a heroic junior high student signed his name to this fundraising email? Grab my checkbook and tell the kids to forget about college! It's Savin' America Time!

Joe Wilson defends himself — and all the white Americans who are showing such oddly vehement hatred for Barack Obama — against Jimmy Carter's ridiculous claim that maybe health care isn't the only problem they have with the president…

"That is such a distraction and a diversion from the issues that we should be discussing," Wilson told a Washington Times radio show Wednesday. "I really want to take the advice of President Obama, and that is that we should be discussing the issues, and that is what I intend to do."

First issue to discuss: Why it is acceptable to not acknowledge Barack Obama's legitimacy as president, and how best to manifest that opinion before the nation.

Don't worry, America! Congress is all over that Joe Wilson shit, healing your pain with a "resolution of disapproval," which apparently is a thing that exists…

Lemme get this straight. Some ignorant, probably racist guy starts yelling stupid shit and making a total ass of himself and then everybody else wastes a couple hours arguing about how dumb he is and self-righteously belittling the guy while failing to ever get a decent apology out of him, right?

So, Congress is essentially one of my family reunions.