As a expatriate Philadelphian, I thought I couldn't possibly be any more disgusted after having to endure last night's game (and its aftermath) in the middle of Queens.

I was wrong…

If there's one thing that could bring Keith Olbermann and Sean Hannity together (apart from the occasional CNN-bashing), it's baseball…

Olbermann wrote about the game on his MLBlog, where he said of Hannity, "And lastly, a reminder that baseball does erase boundaries. The guy I'm taking a photo of, who's taking a photo of me – we get along perfectly at the ballpark – less so during our day jobs."

Sean Hannity and Keith Olbermann: big, big Yankees fans. That pretty much says it all.

Now, if you'll excuse me, this bowl of sour grapes isn't going to eat itself.

To the gridiron, patriots, and by gridiron I mean Capitol Hill! It is time to tackle the socialist problem of health care reform, and by tackle I mean tackle! Your starting quarterback for this game will be the one and only Michele Bachmann, bantamweight from Minnesota, the woman who kicked off the puck on Fox News the other day with a call for "freedom-loving Americans" to attend her "Super Bowl of Freedom" and help her cry foul in the offices of Congress at noon today. Goooooaaaaaaal!

I have now run out of sports words, so let's go to the quote…

Rep. Michele Bachmann's message for conservatives traveling to Washington to attend her Capitol Hill House Call event Thursday is simple: "Go into the Capitol and find members of Congress," she told activists Wednesday night. "Don't bring your pitchforks, bring your video cameras. And get them on record saying how they're going to vote and why. And tell them, 'Take your hands off my health care!'"

Of course, if you do have a spare pitchfork lying around, couldn't hurt to bring it along. Just in case you happen to catch Nancy Pelosi trying to slam dunk a public option over the last wicket when the umpire isn't looking.

^{p.s.: Everybody, please be nice to Dennis today. Some group called the Yankees did something bad last night — caved to anti-choice Blue Dogs on abortion provisions, maybe? — and I know he's upset.}

Take note, historians: What took George Bush nearly three years to accomplish, Barack Obama handled tidily in less than ten months…

CBS' Mark Knoller — an unofficial documentarian and statistician of all things White House-related — wrote on his Twitter feed [Sunday] that, "Today – Obama ties Pres. Bush in the number of rounds of golf played in office: 24.

Took Bush 2 yrs & 10 months."

And the naysayers said "nay." Nay to those naysayers. (Know what I'm nayin'?)

Anyway, if he caught up to Bush's golf record that fast, just think how fast he'll be able to catch up to his body count.

Who is the dudeliest dudely dude in all of America? Dude, you even gotta ask? It's this dude, Barack Obama. So posits the New York Times, anyway, in a lengthy weekend story that opens with the provocative lede: "Does the White House feel like a frat house?" (Spoiler alert: chug, bro!)

The president, after all, is an unabashed First Guy’s Guy. Since being elected, he has demonstrated an encyclopedic knowledge of college hoops on ESPN, indulged a craving for weekend golf, expressed a preference for adopting a "big rambunctious dog" over a "girlie dog" and hoisted beer in a peacemaking effort.

"First Guy's Guy," what does this even mean? Is the NYT trying to subtext something about Todd Palin? Dunno, bro. What we do know is that there are no girls allowed in the clubhouse when certain things, like the economy and national security, are being discussed. (Well, duh. Girls just shop and release secret cryptographic algorithms all the time.)

More importantly, there are no girls allowed at the golf games Barack Obama plays when he should be working, or playing basketball. Except finally this weekend he let domestic policy adviser Melody Barnes tag along on the links, maybe because as domestic policy adviser she would bring cookies. Wait, no, that's a job for the communications team…

In the same week as [another fucking] basketball game, Anita Dunn, the White House communications director, hosted a group of women reporters for an off-the-record meeting with [senior adviser Valerie] Jarrett over chocolate chip and oatmeal cookies.

And I bet they had a blast, those lady typists, chit-chatting over cookies. It's what they want, right? The White House gals also get to work on health care, and whatever it is Hillary Clinton does, and they throw baby showers for each other. Doesn't mean Barack Obama is, like, afraid of girl cooties…

One Democratic media strategist says that while Mr. Obama does place women in important roles, his comfort level with staff members is not always perceived as equal.

So what? We know separate isn't equal, except for the gays, but the situation here is "non-separate but inequal," which is just what you get for choosing the lifestyle of two X chromosomes, anyway. Besides, Barack Obama is president! We live in post-racial America, and according to everything I've read, sexim is nonexistent even more often than racism is nonexistent, so obviously this is much ado about nothing that exists at all in the first place.

I know everybody, myself included, has been breathlessly watching the news, hoping and/or praying for a non-tragic conclusion to this big, big story. And here it is!

Rush Limbaugh has been dropped from the investors group hoping to buy the St. Louis Rams…

"Rush was to be a limited partner — as such, he would have had no say in the direction of the club or in any decisions regarding personnel or operations," Dave Checketts, the former Madison Square Garden executive who is leading the group that included Limbaugh.

"This was a role he enthusiastically embraced. However, it has become clear that his involvement in our group has become a complication and a distraction to our intentions; endangering our bid to keep the team in St. Louis. As such, we have decided to move forward without him and hope it will eventually lead us to a successful conclusion."

Despite how bad this could have turned out, the good people of America have, I think, been drawn a little closer to one another now.

Now go home and hug your children!

Speaking of misunderstood racists, poor Rush Limbaugh just can't seem to catch a break in his quest to own an NFL team.

First, it turned out that people have brains capable of recalling the borderline racist things people said a few years ago (or, for that matter, the overtly racist things they said lots and lots of times). And then it became apparent that some football players might maybe not want to work for a racist person that is always going around saying racist things.

Now, the commissioner of the NFL is wondering if maybe he and the other team owners shouldn't maybe just exercise their free market rights to not approve the sale of an NFL team to a racist person who will make the whole league look bad…

"I've said many times before we're all held to a high standard here, and I think divisive comments are not what the NFL is all about," [Roger] Goodell said at an NFL owners' meeting. "I would not want to see those comments coming from people who are in a responsible position in the NFL, absolutely not."…

[A]ny proposed franchise sale would have to be approved by three-quarters of the owners, and Goodell's comments signaled that it perhaps would be unlikely that Limbaugh's bid would be ratified by the other teams.

What about the other team owners? Do they support racism? Turns out a lot of them do not support racism…

Indianapolis Colts owner Jim Irsay said he would not vote in favor of approving Limbaugh as an owner.

"I would not be in favor of voting for him," Irsay said. "I could ask Tony Dungy, Jim Caldwell, Dwight Freeney and consult with them, but there have been comments that have been made that have been inappropriate, incendiary and insensitive. It's bigger than football. We have to watch the words that we say…. Sometimes privileges in life do get lost. I would not feel comfortable.

I feel so sad for Rush Limbaugh. Can you imagine the pain of having to deal with circumstances of your own making. In this day and age?!

I just hope this doesn't get him down and that he somehow finds the strength to somehow continue being an unctuous racist hypocrite.