Indecision Forever » Stephen Colbert

Stephen Colbert Calls Obama The Meryl Streep of Presidents

Gonzalo Cordova — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 20:12:28 +0000

Stephen Colbert went on Late Show with David Letterman last night to promote the paperback edition of I Am America (And So Can You!) (now with even more paper!) The best part was when Colbert called Obama the Meryl Streep of Presidents. Does that make Joe Biden the Melanie Griffith of Vice Presidents? Yes, yes it does.

Colbert Protects His Assets from the Senate's Healthcare Bill

Matt Tobey — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:45:11 +0000

According to the newly released Senate healthcare bill, Democrats want to pay for reform by taxing so-called "Cadillac insurance plans." Which sounds good, until you remember GM filed for bankruptcy this year. "Cadillac" doesn't exactly mean what it used to. In fact, I'm pretty sure this means they're paying for healthcare reform by taxing Medicaid. Either way, Stephen Colbert has a fool-proof plan to protect his money from the socialist taxocrats.

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

Colbert and The Daily Show Catch Sarah Palin Fever

Matt Tobey — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 16:08:19 +0000

This week marked the highly anticipated release of Sarah Palin's book Going Rogue. With the book, Palin has once and for set the record straight and cocksuredly answered those pundits and critics who said she couldn't read or write. You can see Stephen Colbert's defense of Palin after the jump, but first a one-two punch from The Daily Show.

Next up, John Oliver visits a New York bookstore to cover all of the hardcore Paliniacs who came out to get the book.

The Daily Show and Colbert Report air Monday through Thursday starting at 11pm / 10c.

Colbert Better Knows California's 12th District

Matt Tobey — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 17:16:21 +0000

Anyone who knows anything about politics knows the true measure of a legislator isn't his or her voting record, it's how well he or she can gleam the cube (ask your parents). So last night, after grilling California Congresswoman Jackie Speier about her district's plans to cure gayness, Stephen Colbert took to the halls of Congress armed with his board and a hunger for shredding.

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

Colbert Warns Against Gay Zombies

Matt Tobey — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 16:11:15 +0000

We knew this was going to happen. We were warned. Gay rights opponents have all along told us that treating gays like normal people was a slippery slope, and they were right. No sooner have we started to tolerate people living the gay lifestyle, now they want to die the gay lifestyle. It's like they say, you give the gays an inch, they ask for basic human dignity!

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

Colbert and The Daily Show on Lou Dobbs's Departure

Matt Tobey — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 18:27:53 +0000

When anchor Lou Dobbs abruptly left CNN this week, it dealt a huge blow to the cable news network. After all, Dobbs's prideful bigotry and paranoia has consistently provided a balance to CNN's trademark vapidness and ineptitude. How they will maintain that balance without Dobbs remains to be seen, but in the meantime Stephen Colbert has called dibs on Dobbs's followers.

For more Dobbs coverage, The Daily Show's take on the news is after the jump.

The Daily Show and Colbert Report air Monday through Thursday starting at 11pm / 10c.

Colbert: Goldman Sachs Does God's Work

Matt Tobey — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 15:26:08 +0000

As you may have heard, Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein recently defended bankers, calling himself a blue collar guy who is doing God's work. And it's true, the bank CEOs are acting much like God. Particularly the God in the book of Job. So take heart, everyone. You may lose your family and possessions and be smited with boils, but as long as your faith in Lloyd Blankfein never wavers, you'll get to live to 140.

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

Colbert: Barney Frank Is Not a Great Outdoorsman

Matt Tobey — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 19:50:22 +0000

So, according to Barney Frank, "outdoorsman" is the latest euphemism for "pot smoker." And that's cool, but check it out, bro; what does that word even mean? Outdoorsman? Like, does it mean a man who lives outside a door? Does that mean there are men living inside doors? Bro, listen, what if there's a man living inside my door, and I don't even know it. Maybe he doesn't even know about us, the outdoorsmen. Think about it.

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

Colbert and Stewart on the House's Health Care Reform Opponents

Matt Tobey — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 16:32:07 +0000

As you know, House Democrats recently passed a health care reform bill, despite fierce opposition from the GOP. Honestly, I don't know how they pulled it off when the Republicans were pulling out the big guns: Leis and babies. After all, who can forget that famous proverb, "If you spout non sequiturs about flower necklaces and awkwardly exploit your grandchildren by the river long enough, eventually you'll see the body of your enemy float by"?

Stephen Colbert's take can be found below.

The Daily Show and Colbert Report air Monday through Thursday starting at 11pm / 10c.

Michele Bachmann Turns Teabaggers into Guy-Fawkers

Matt Tobey — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 16:15:38 +0000

I'm starting to feel sorry for the grass-roots conservatives. They keep getting saddled with embarrassing names. First they were Teabaggers, now they're Guy Fawkers. Everyone's so busy laughing at the ridiculous monikers, they're not taking the time to actually listen to what the protesters have to say and laugh at that.

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.