So, now that Bill and Hillary Clinton are off the campaign trail, does that mean that everything is safe for all the superdelegates who didn't opt for cowardice and actually endorsed somebody.

And, by somebody, I mean somebody who's not named Clinton…

[Clinton Aide Doug] Band keeps close track of the past allies and beneficiaries of the Clintons who supported Obama's campaign, three Clinton associates and campaign officials said.

Indeed, he is widely known as a member of the Clinton inner circle whose memory is particularly acute on the matter of who has been there for the couple — and who has not.

Oh, I don't like the sound of that at all. This sounds fishy. Why exactly is it that Band is keeping track of these people?

"The Clintons get hundreds of requests for favors every week," said Terry McAuliffe, the chairman of Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign. "Clearly, the people you're going to do stuff for in the future are the people who have been there for you."

McAuliffe, who knows of Band's diligent scorekeeping, emphasized that "revenge is not what the Clintons are about." The accounting is more about being practical, he said, adding, "You have to keep track of this."

Oh, well, that makes perfect sense. For favors. Band is keeping track for favors.

And, uh, ya never know when you're gonna need to, eh… not turn up at the bottom of a river.

Ya know what I mean?

According to whoever it is at ABC News with the unenviable job of trying to keep track of which delegates and which superdelegates are with which candidate, Barack Obama has just surpassed Hillary Clinton in one of the only categories in which he was trailing…

Sen. Obama, D-Ill., picked up two superdelegates this morning giving him a new metric to tout in addition to his current commanding leads in pledged delegates, popular votes, states won, and money raised.

Rep. Donald Payne, D-N.J., switched his endorsement from Clinton to Obama and Rep. Peter DeFazio, D-Ore., endorsed Obama. DeFazio was previously uncommitted. With these endorsements, Obama has the support of 267 superdelegates and Clinton has 265 superdelegates.

Be that as it may, Clinton still leads in the all important "intangibles" category.

With the race for superdelegates in full swing, a Mexican-American California superdelegate has promised to sell his support for some sweet, sweet cash…

He says he'll sell his vote for a price. A very high price: $20 million. Sacramento superdelegate Steven Ybarra says that eight-figure price is peanuts for the presidency.

When asked whether it was right to offer what is clearly a quid pro quo?

"Yeah, absolutely. People do it all the time," answered Ybarra.

This just sickens me. Using his high status in the Democratic Party for his personal gain. That's unheard of. What does Ybarra want the money for anyway? To buy a bunch of sombreros and habanero peppers and naps?

Ybarra wants every cent of the $20 million to go toward registering and educating eligible Mexican-American voters, who he calls the key to the white house.

Oh.

Well, that's kind of, um, honorable. It's kinda not fair the way the article was written; it didn't mention his intentions until midway through and tricked me into thinking he was being greedy.

That thing about the sombreros and the naps and stuff… I don't really think like that. It's just, um… Well, you know.

Still, it seems unlikely that Ybarra will get $20 million dollars out of the candidates, who need to spend that money ads calling each other names and accusing each other of being unAmerican.

Plus, I'm sure they can find ten or twenty superdelegates from below the border who will register and educate eligible Mexican-American voters for $2 million and a mattress to sleep on.

According to the Obama campaign, we might not need to wait until mid-June for this tiresome, agonizing, increasingly-difficult-to-parody Democratic primary to end…

Mark the date: May 20. That night, Sen. Barack Obama's presidential campaign is planning to declare victory. At his campaign headquarters here, the number crunchers figure — with pretty solid justification — that, on that date, after the returns come in from the Oregon Democratic primary, their man will have won an outright majority of the pledged delegates to the 2008 convention in Denver.

"The die is cast," campaign manager David Plouffe told [Howard Fineman] after the early returns came in Tuesday night…

Yes, the die is cast. The moon and planets are in alignment. The spirits of the underworld are preparing to rise up and consume the living while Barack Obama begins his 1,000 score reign of Democratic nomination. Hahahahaha! Hahahahahahahahaha!

Ha.

According to Plouffe's math, Sen. Hillary Clinton still could win big in West Virginia and Kentucky. But even with those victories, Obama pickups in those states, plus a likely big win in Oregon, would be enough to reach the magic number: 1,627, a clear majority of the pledged delegates.

At that point, his strategists say, Obama will be able to turn to uncommitted superdelegates and say: "I've done my part."

Yes, Obama's die will have been cast.

Turns out Hillary Clinton has now invested $11.4 million of her personal money into her campaign…

A campaign aide says Hillary Rodham Clinton lent herself $6.4 million in the past month… The loan more than doubles Clinton's personal investment in her bid for the Democratic nomination. She gave her campaign $5 million earlier this year.

But you know, that's not really that big a deal. I mean, $11.4 million isn't that much money, is it? Well, it's more than I — and everybody I know combined — will ever see, let alone spend.

She could still decide to cut her considerable losses and not lose any more money, right?

But even as Obama planned to take the day off from the campaign trail Wednesday, Clinton showed no public signs of easing her pace. The campaign added a noon Wednesday appearance in Shepherdstown, W. Va., to her schedule. On Thursday, she planned to campaign in West Virginia, South Dakota and Oregon.

Clinton backers appeared on early morning television programs to stress that she was still in the race and to urge party leaders and elected officials known as superdelegates not to flee to Obama.

"This candidacy and this campaign continues on," Clinton communications director Howard Wolfson said Wednesday on CNN.

Oh.

But, she's got to throw in the towel sometime before November, right?

Right?

This morning, George Stephanopoulopoulopoisipous stopped by Good Morning America to make the following prediction…

More superdelegates will come out today for Barack Obama — they will come three, four, five at a time, and this nomination will be locked up.

Um, this may or may not happen. I'm yet to be convinced.

But I'll tell you when the superdelegates will flock to Obama's side: about 3.12 seconds after he locks up the nomination.