And, by somebody, I mean somebody who's not named Clinton…

[Clinton Aide Doug] Band keeps close track of the past allies and beneficiaries of the Clintons who supported Obama's campaign, three Clinton associates and campaign officials said.

Indeed, he is widely known as a member of the Clinton inner circle whose memory is particularly acute on the matter of who has been there for the couple — and who has not.

Oh, I don't like the sound of that at all. This sounds fishy. Why exactly is it that Band is keeping track of these people?

"The Clintons get hundreds of requests for favors every week," said Terry McAuliffe, the chairman of Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign. "Clearly, the people you're going to do stuff for in the future are the people who have been there for you."

McAuliffe, who knows of Band's diligent scorekeeping, emphasized that "revenge is not what the Clintons are about." The accounting is more about being practical, he said, adding, "You have to keep track of this."

Oh, well, that makes perfect sense. For favors. Band is keeping track for favors.

And, uh, ya never know when you're gonna need to, eh… not turn up at the bottom of a river.

Ya know what I mean?

Sen. Obama, D-Ill., picked up two superdelegates this morning giving him a new metric to tout in addition to his current commanding leads in pledged delegates, popular votes, states won, and money raised.

Rep. Donald Payne, D-N.J., switched his endorsement from Clinton to Obama and Rep. Peter DeFazio, D-Ore., endorsed Obama. DeFazio was previously uncommitted. With these endorsements, Obama has the support of 267 superdelegates and Clinton has 265 superdelegates.

Be that as it may, Clinton still leads in the all important "intangibles" category.

He says he'll sell his vote for a price. A very high price: $20 million. Sacramento superdelegate Steven Ybarra says that eight-figure price is peanuts for the presidency.

When asked whether it was right to offer what is clearly a quid pro quo?

"Yeah, absolutely. People do it all the time," answered Ybarra.

This just sickens me. Using his high status in the Democratic Party for his personal gain. That's unheard of. What does Ybarra want the money for anyway? To buy a bunch of sombreros and habanero peppers and naps?

Ybarra wants every cent of the $20 million to go toward registering and educating eligible Mexican-American voters, who he calls the key to the white house.

Oh.

Well, that's kind of, um, honorable. It's kinda not fair the way the article was written; it didn't mention his intentions until midway through and tricked me into thinking he was being greedy.

That thing about the sombreros and the naps and stuff… I don't really think like that. It's just, um… Well, you know.

Still, it seems unlikely that Ybarra will get $20 million dollars out of the candidates, who need to spend that money ads calling each other names and accusing each other of being unAmerican.

Plus, I'm sure they can find ten or twenty superdelegates from below the border who will register and educate eligible Mexican-American voters for $2 million and a mattress to sleep on.

Mark the date: May 20. That night, Sen. Barack Obama's presidential campaign is planning to declare victory. At his campaign headquarters here, the number crunchers figure — with pretty solid justification — that, on that date, after the returns come in from the Oregon Democratic primary, their man will have won an outright majority of the pledged delegates to the 2008 convention in Denver.

"The die is cast," campaign manager David Plouffe told [Howard Fineman] after the early returns came in Tuesday night…

Yes, the die is cast. The moon and planets are in alignment. The spirits of the underworld are preparing to rise up and consume the living while Barack Obama begins his 1,000 score reign of Democratic nomination. Hahahahaha! Hahahahahahahahaha!

Ha.

According to Plouffe's math, Sen. Hillary Clinton still could win big in West Virginia and Kentucky. But even with those victories, Obama pickups in those states, plus a likely big win in Oregon, would be enough to reach the magic number: 1,627, a clear majority of the pledged delegates.

At that point, his strategists say, Obama will be able to turn to uncommitted superdelegates and say: "I've done my part."

Yes, Obama's die will have been cast.

A campaign aide says Hillary Rodham Clinton lent herself $6.4 million in the past month… The loan more than doubles Clinton's personal investment in her bid for the Democratic nomination. She gave her campaign $5 million earlier this year.

But you know, that's not really that big a deal. I mean, $11.4 million isn't that much money, is it? Well, it's more than I — and everybody I know combined — will ever see, let alone spend.

She could still decide to cut her considerable losses and not lose any more money, right?

But even as Obama planned to take the day off from the campaign trail Wednesday, Clinton showed no public signs of easing her pace. The campaign added a noon Wednesday appearance in Shepherdstown, W. Va., to her schedule. On Thursday, she planned to campaign in West Virginia, South Dakota and Oregon.

Clinton backers appeared on early morning television programs to stress that she was still in the race and to urge party leaders and elected officials known as superdelegates not to flee to Obama.

"This candidacy and this campaign continues on," Clinton communications director Howard Wolfson said Wednesday on CNN.

Oh.

But, she's got to throw in the towel sometime before November, right?

Right?

More superdelegates will come out today for Barack Obama — they will come three, four, five at a time, and this nomination will be locked up.

Um, this may or may not happen. I'm yet to be convinced.

But I'll tell you when the superdelegates will flock to Obama's side: about 3.12 seconds after he locks up the nomination.

While more than 80 Democrats in the House and Senate have yet to state their preferences in the race for the Democratic nomination, sources said Tuesday that most of them have already made up their minds and have told the campaigns where they stand.

"The majority of superdelegates I've talked to are committed, but it is a matter of timing," said Sen. Claire McCaskill (D-Mo.). "They're just preferring to make their decision public after the primaries are over… They would like someone else to act for them before they talk about it in the cold light of day."

They'd like someone else to act for them? That doesn't sound like the Congress I know. McCaskill must be talking about some other Congress. Like maybe that Congress that hangs out by the deli and smells like motor oil.

Anyway, if this is true (and Claire McCaskill is an outspoken Obama supporter, so why would she lie?) and our elected representatives have long since made up their minds, it means that these past few weeks of infighting and cat-scratching have been, essentially, for nothing.

And if a bloodied Democratic nominee loses to McCain in November, a large portion of the blame will lie with the same super-effective Democratic congresspeople and senators who made such good use of their majority status and didn't cave to President Bush on practically every single thing he wanted from them and ended the war in Iraq like they were elected to do.

Actually, that does sound the Congress I know.

In this week's Time, Karen Tumulty lays out the three main possibilities for how the Democratic primary race will play itself out as she sees it…

1. Clinton Loses Indiana on May 6 and Pulls Out
There will be two primaries that day, but North Carolina is considered almost certain to go for Obama, which means Clinton will be putting most of her effort into Indiana. Privately, her advisers concede that it will be difficult to continue in the race if she does not win there…

Somehow, though, I think she'll find the strength somewhere inside her.

2. Party Leaders End It in June
Worried democrats have been talking for weeks about the possibility of party elders conspiring to bring things to a close in May. But in a group as leaderless as the Democratic Party, it is far from clear who actually has the clout to play that role…

The Clintons have that kind of power. How about we… Oh yeah, right.

3. A Fight All the Way to Denver
Resolving the unfinished business of how and whether to seat the Michigan and Florida delegates could make the recent sniping between Obama and Clinton seem like back-fence chitchat. Florida's situation should be the easier of the two, because both candidates were on the ballot there and turnout was high. Michigan is another story, because Obama's name didn't appear on the ballot. Clinton's team is saying she won't agree to any resolution in either state that would dilute her delegate totals…

I also have a feeling she won't agree to any resolution in any state in any country in which she isn't the Democratic nominee.

1) They are afraid of retaliation by a vengeful Senator Clinton

2) They are afraid that she will somehow get the nomination, and retaliate from the Oval Office

3) They need the Clintons to fundraise for the general

4) No one wants to be the guy who put the last nail in the Clinton campaign's coffin.

Or, maybe they just respect the Democratic process so much that they want to see this primary all the way through until every last Democratic American has his or her chance to have their say.

But, seriously, yeah, McArdle is on the nose.

…despite giving it her best shot in what might have been their final debate, interviews on Thursday with a cross-section of these superdelegates — members of Congress, elected officials and party leaders — showed that none had been persuaded much by her attacks on Mr. Obama's strength as a potential Democratic nominee, his recent gaffes and his relationships with his former pastor and with a onetime member of the Weather Underground.

Yeah, but it's nice to know that they're out there, isn't.