Eric Massa

Review the details that led to Eric Massa's resignation. We've got it all from wacky wedding hijinx to naked shower fights.

Lady Oscar

In the Hollywood version, Hillary Clinton is president...

Haggard's Law

It may not be in Webster's yet, but we strongly suggest you add Haggard's Law to your pocket dictionary.

Empire State of Mind

Feast your eyes on these Stephen Colbert clips on New York state politics.

Ted Kennedy

February 17 at 1:16PM

Scott Brown Still Wants to Be the Woody Harrelson to Barack Obama's Wesley Snipes

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

Scott Brown was totally not kidding about that whole basketball game thing with the President

Sen. Scott Brown (R-Mass.) and his daughter, Ayla, say they're serious about their proposal to play hoops with President Barack Obama at the White House.

And now the father-daughter team is taking it a step further: They'd like the option of opening the game up to the public in order to raise money for Haiti.

"I think it'd be really fun… I was thinking why not charge admission. It'd be a really good game knowing me and my dad — we're very competitive — and give all the proceeds to Haiti," Ayla Brown said Monday in an interview with ABC News.

I think this is a great idea for Brown, but not such a great one for Obama. Scott Brown already effectively unseated Obama from the Oval Office by beating Martha Coakley for a Senate seat in Massachusetts. If he and his daughter beat him on the court as well, I don't see how Obama's would ever be able to come back from that kind of humiliation.

I mean, he'd have to leave Washington in disgrace, take up a drinking habit and spend his days puking up his esophagus in some seedy Illinois motel bathroom, until the day that he falls so deeply into a Wild Turkey-induced stupor that he wakes up on a b-ball court surrounded by a darkened void and finds Ted Kennedy standing at the other end of the court. The deceased statesman from Massachusetts — his voice distant and echoey at first, though increasingly close and warm — would of course challenge the confused and unshaven president to a game of H.O.R.S.E. And, through playing that game, Obama would re-find his political mojo.

Upon waking in his vomit-encrusted motel bathroom, he would immediately pour the dregs of his whiskey bottle down the sink, hop into a Stevie Wonder musical montage and begin training for his return to the Capitol.

Upon returning to the garbage-strewn, dilapidated halls of the White House, he would discover that, in his absence, Dick Cheney and his horde of reanimated Republican corpses had taken over the country.

And that's when it's time to kick some zombie ass!

So, yeah, I'm not really sure that accepting Sen. Brown's challenge is such a wise decision, politically speaking.

January 20 at 12:19PM

Adolf Hitler Responds to the Massachusetts Election (as He Is Obligated to Do by Internet Law)

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

What took you so long, Internet?

(via The Daily What)

January 19 at 10:29AM

Jon Stewart on the Massachusetts Senate Election

POSTED BY: Matt Tobey

Well, the Democrats had themselves a nice little run there, but it looks like the GOP is going to win today's special Senate election in Massachusetts. That will of course cut the number of Democratic Senators to 59, a scant 18 seats more than the Republicans, which only seems like a pretty strong majority if you aren't using pussy-math.



The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

January 15 at 4:39PM

Barack Obama to Campaign for Martha Coakley in Massachusetts Because Things Can Still Get a Little Bit Worse for Dems

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

Great news! Barack Obama is staking the next three years of his presidency on Martha Coakley's somnambulist campaign for Ted Kennedy's old Senate seat in Massachusetts.

This is particularly great, since nobody can get Coakley to campaign for herself, so she'll need all the help she can get.

I'm predicting that this will end well for everybody!

The White House has decided to OWN the race in Massachusetts, despite faulting Coakley for running a sleeper of a campaign since the primary… Coakley needs help turning out Obama Democrats… Democrats who SUPPORT health care reform… Democrats need to understand the stakes. Health care reform hangs in the balance… that's not an exaggeration…

The psychological effect of a loss in Massachusetts would be significant. It might persuade Democrats to retire. It might persuade folks who've compromised on health care to take a step back. It will almost certainly further demoralize the Democratic Party.

I can dig that logic. If almost the entire Democrat Party is about to nosedive itself into a Slumdog Millionaire-style pool of liquid feces, you might as well throw the White House in there as well.

January 15 at 12:47PM

The Entire GOP Morphs, Voltron Style, into a 'Scott Brown for Senate' Office

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

Remember way, way, way back in the last decade when it looked as though the Republican Party would be subjugated beneath the boot heel of a Democratic supermajority in Congress and health care reform was all but guaranteed?

We were all so young back then

[A] new poll came out from Suffolk University showing Republican Scott Brown leading Democratic nominee Martha Coakley by four percentage points [in the special election for Ted Kennedy's Senate seat], 50 percent to 46. That’s only the second poll to give Brown a lead, and the race is obviously too close to call — but still, trailing by four in Massachusetts can’t feel great for Democrats. As pollster David Paleologos put it, "It's a Brown-out!"

Republican activists see Brown’s blossoming chances as an opportunity to deal a crippling blow to the Obama administration, and are mobilizing to turn his bounce into an actual win. Politico reports that, across the country, other GOP campaigns are turning themselves temporarily into remote offices for Brown. In New York and Connecticut, Republican candidates for governor and the Senate are urging supporters to donate to Brown, and travel to Massachusetts to volunteer. In Florida, Republican Senate rivals Marco Rubio and Gov. Charlie Crist are trying to outdo each other in their support for the candidate.. And as far off as Texas, local Republicans are phone banking for their Massachusetts brother-in-arms.

Yeah, but I'll bet things are going equally well on the Democratic side of this important special election

[T]here is a subdued, almost dispassionate quality to [Martha Coakley's] public appearances, which are surprisingly few. Her voice is not hoarse from late-night rallies. Even yesterday, the day after a hard-hitting debate, she had no public campaign appearances in the state.

Coakley bristles at the suggestion that, with so little time left, in an election with such high stakes, she is being too passive.

"As opposed to standing outside Fenway Park? In the cold? Shaking hands?’" she fires back, in an apparent reference to a Brown online video of him doing just that. "This is a special election. And I know that I have the support of Kim Driscoll. And I now know the members of the [Salem] School Committee, who know far more people than I could ever meet."

That's the… attitude?

This all seems pretty dismal now, but even if Brown does manage to grab a Massachusetts Senate seat for the first time since the Earth's crust originally cooled, the Democratic still has the midterm elections in November to turn things around.

Hmmm…..

Hey, I hope our new Republican overlords are benevolent, and give us liberals bathroom breaks while we build their giant glowing megachurch monoliths for them.

September 2 at 11:40AM

Is Sarah Palin the Next Ted Kennedy? I'm Glad You Asked!

POSTED BY: Mary Phillips-Sandy

sarah-palin-ted-kennedy
Now that Ted Kennedy is gone everyone wants to know who the "next" Ted Kennedy will be, both in terms of representing the state of Massachusetts in the Senate and also in terms of being a national symbol of- well, the things Ted Kennedy symbolized (lions). But there are so many people who could be the next Ted Kennedy; how can we can narrow this down?

Let's see, the next Ted Kennedy will probably live in the United States. It'll be somebody related to politics, or politics-ish things. Somebody who gives speeches, or impersonations of speeches, in public settings. Hmmm, who on earth meets all those qualifications? Oh! A writer at The American Spectator has a suggestion: "Is Sarah Palin the Next Ted Kennedy?" he asks.

Lucky for us, America, our Spectator has answered this important question! I will place the answer after the jump, so as to heighten the suspense. Click and all will be revealed…

Read more »

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