Then I see something like this "Historical Keepsake Photo" which was emailed around amongst Republican legislative staffers in Tennessee…

…and then I grab another tube of Pringles and climb back under my blanket fort.

How much do you love your secret gun?

It's an ugly little open secret that Arkansas, Maryland, Mississippi, North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas have constitutions that explicitly forbid atheists from holding state office. These laws are archaic and unenforceable in principle — they were all ruled unconstitutional in 1961…

Now, though, a representative in Arkansas has submitted a bill to amend the Arkansas constitution and remove the prohibition of atheists.

Can you believe the nerve of Richard Carroll, the guy who submitted this bill? Throwing his hat in with the godless unbelievers. In direct defiance of the defiance of the 1st Amendment?! And in Mike Huckabee's back yard, no less! I never thought I'd see the day.

Can't we just have one small little section of the country where reasonable can go to not be reasonable? Just one?

She's one of those incredibly rational people who're willing to say what everybody else knows to be true: That the entire government of our country has conspired to cook the books just so that a foreign-born socialist could become president.

I mean, come on, it's Occam's Razor…

Well, that rambling tirade has convinced me. I don't need any more facts. Or any facts, actually.

And I'm not alone in my well-founded credulity…

Representative Eric Swafford of Tennessee has agreed to be a Plaintiff in a legal action of Dr. Orly Taitz, ESQ to demand that Barack Obama proves his eligibility.

If Rep. Swafford is on board you know this has to be the real deal. What would a Tennessee legislator possibly have against a black president?

No comment.

(via DFTCW)

Acting in a clandestine pact, the 49 Democrats in Tennessee’s House shocked Nashville just one hour ago by nominating and then voting en masse for Kent Williams (a moderate Republican from Elizabethton in Carter County) for Speaker to lead the 99-member chamber. The official Republican nominee, Jason Mumpower (a wingnut from Bristol in Sullivan County) was left speechless, clutching the family bible that he had brought in preparation for taking the Speaker’s oath of office.

This really is amazing. Just a jaw-dropping and cleverly executed upset that no one saw coming. It's the kind of thing only ever happens in movies, so Tennesseans would probably by wise to keep a look out for Cloverfields.

(via Balloon Juice who has video)

11:14 - Okay, Rachel Maddow's on the television. I have to go now. Once she's talked, the coyote and I have to open up a second bottle of absinthe and head off on our vision quest.

Oh, and I need to buy cigarettes.

But, please, keep up the conversation.

11:08 – CNN's instapoll has Obama winning this debate 54 to 30.

54 to 30!

Jesus!

14 24 points! WTF? Update: I'm even worse at math then I am at spelling. Jesus, what am I good at?

11:05 – From the comments: "Teddy Roosevelt was my hero. Teddy Roosevelt was my friend. You sir are no Teddy Roosevelt." – Ian C

11:00 – georgia10…

"This "town hall" (and I put "town hall" in quotation marks because this was really like a glorified press conference) was boring, lusterless, and lacked any headline-grabbing moments. There was no winking here and no snappy comebacks. There was no real "smackdown" moment, no instance where any candidate scored anything more than small points in small fashion.

And that mundaneness, that ordinariness of this forum, is dangerous for McCain.

It's dangerous in that McCain needed to shine tonight. He is down by double digits in key battleground states, and poll after poll is suggesting that we may see a landslide in November."

10:59 – "John McCain, when he smiles, has an almost menacing quality." – Chris Matthews.

10:57 – Andrew Sullivan…

"This was, I think, a mauling: a devastating and possibly electorally fatal debate for McCain. Even on Russia, he sounded a little out of it. I've watched a lot of debates and participated in many. I love debate and was trained as a boy in the British system to be a debater. I debated dozens of times at Oxofrd. All I can say is that, simply on terms of substance, clarity, empathy, style and authority, this has not just been an Obama victory. It has been a wipe-out.It has been about as big a wipe-out as I can remember in a presidential debate. It reminds me of the 1992 Clinton-Perot-Bush debate. I don't really see how the McCain campaign survives this."

10:52 – From the comments: "Heather means rule through intimidation, contempt, and sex appeal." – LoLa Lamar

Oh, well, then clearly, John McCain was the Heather.

10:51 – The focus group on MSNBC is down in Philadelphia.

The coyote says, "Go, Phillies!"

To be fair: I say, "Go, Mets!" Oh, wait. Sorry, Mets fans.

10:50 – Man, that cigarette felt good.

Oh, by the way, Cube finally gets a comment up for the night:

"This debate was lame. No clear winner. No bump either way. If anything, it just shows how soft McCain is for not mentioning Ayers. He has to send out Palin to do his dirty work. To me, that shows a complete lack of testicular fortitude."

10:36 – The coyote says that Cindy McCain is a Heather.

Again, anyone know what that means.

Man, it sucks to be on a spiritual journey like this.

10:35 – Brokaw's using a teleprompter?!

There is no god.

10:32 – So, what John McCain doesn't know is what's gonna happen here and there, up and down, now and then.

Wow, that's deep.

I thought his answer would be how to program a digital alarm clock.

10:31 – The coyote, by the way, says hello to Upma and Clay.

10:28 – "What don't you know, and how will you learn it?"

Yikes.

10:26 – Don't touch touch the crowd, McCain. It frightens people.

10:25 – Cheri Oteri looks bad!

10:24 – Come on! Yes or No!

I want my answers nonsensical and overly simplistic.

10:23 – Yes or No!

10:21 – The coyote asks: "What are they doing to make those people in the background not react in any human way?"

My guess is talk about policy.

Has anyone mention Bill Ayers yet? C'mon! I have no brain, bit I'd also like to engage in this debate.

10:20 – Jesus! How many time time is McCain gonna use that seeing "KGB" in Putin's eyes line?

It wasn't convincing the first time he said it.

10:19 – See that? Obama won't admit that he was wrong about the Iraq war being an amazing success?

Shame on you, Hussein!

10:16 – Again. McCain knows how to get bin Laden, but won't tell us unless we elect him.

10:14 – Holy shit! Look at McCain's temper rising up through his collar.

10:12 – "If we're gonna have follow-ups, then I'm gonna want follow-ups." Obama doesn't respect the rules of this debate.

How can we expect him to respect the rules of not selling America to Russia?

10:11 – "Yeeaaa, oh wise coyote, who's answer seem strangely like an Eight Ball." – Dave W

Ask again later.

10:10 – "There haven't been this many "friends" on tv since NBC Must See TV." – Juan Valdez

10:07 – Anyone know how many "my friends" we heard so far tonight?

10:06 – The coyote, my friends, is sad about Darfur.

10:05 – From the comments: "Does the coyote think I'm getting a hummer tonight?" – Dave W

The coyote is confident.

10:01 – "We don't have time for on the job training, my friend?"

I wonder if Sarah Palin agrees.

10:00 – "Why is it more patriotic to say 'Amuhrica'?" – The Coyote

9:59 – "Did we hear the size of the fine?"

Good one, Senator Uncle.

9:56 – You see that woman in the blue dress in the background? You see that smile on her face when Obama talks?

Dude, Barack's getting a hummer after the show tonight.

Or, at least, that's what the coyote thinks.

9:55 – From the comments: "Did McCain just call Obama "that one" like my grandmother when I flooded her kitchen?" – pixie1212

9:53 – Obama will find me?!

Shit! I better hide real good like.

9:52 – From the comments: "McCain is funnier than you people." – Fresh Baked

Well, he's funnier than me. But not nearly as funny as Tom Brokaw.

9:45 – Oh, I like Lindsay Trella. In a Stiffler's mom kind of way.

9:44 – Never forget!

9:43 – "I love that McCain's main talking point is that no one likes him." – MK

I'm sure the GOP does, too.

9:40 – The coyote just informed me that Sarah Palin is Wormtongue and John McCain is Denethor.

Does anybody know what that means?

9:39 – Is somebody snoring in there?

9:37 - "Living high on the hog?" Was that a sexist comment about Sarah Palin?

9:36 – "Nailing Jell-O to the wall." That's fantastic! How'd he come up with that brilliant rejoinder?
9:34 – Hey, let's not start badmouthing people who "got drunk."

9:32 – "The first question from the internet is from a 78 year old who lived through the depression?!?" – MK

I don't believe that.

No way that person knows how to use the internet.

Follow-up joke: No fair! John McCain shouldn't be allowed to ask questions!

9:31 – How, with a straight face, can John McCain keep denigrating the bill that he just fucking signed with his own fucking pen?

9:30 – A spending freeze? How exactly would that work?

9:28 – Obama just compared oil independence to landing on the moon.

Do you have any idea how hard it would be to land on the moon today?

9:25 – The nodding woman in the audience is also smiling. That's a good sign.

However, the eye-rolling woman is frowning. That's a bad sign.

By the way, you catch that casual dropping of JFK?

9:23 – From the comments: "Dennis… I officially request a picture of you and the coyote enjoying the debate." – Copax

Sorry, Copax. The coyote dissipates when faced with photo ions.

9:20 – McCain is getting really close to these audience members. Is this the Jerry Springer show?

9:19 – "We're the best importers." I don't know. That's just funny. – Michael Kraskin

9:17 – Barack Obama will be such a handsome president.

The coyote is asking why nobody ever comments that Obama's lips are blue.

He's so wise.

9:15 – McCain's guy was not a Fannie May person! That's bullshit!

It was Freddie mac.

So, um, yeah.

9:13 – "I've got to correct a little of Senator McCain's history… not surprisingly." Jab.

9:12 – Oh, that's right. John McCain suspended his campaign to deal with the economy. But now his campaign doesn't want to talk about it.

9:08 – Brokaw is laying down the the law. He's so adorable.

9:06 – So, um, energy independence is the answer to bailing out retirees. Maybe John McCain knows something the rest of us don't.

9:03 – Good news for you people. I'm already three-quarters way through a bottle of absinthe. So, this should be a really productive liveblogging effort on my part.

However, if you're worried, i have this coyote here beside me to help me on my journey.

——

Tonight, at 9 pm (EST, which, let's get serious, is the only real time (suck it, MST!)), Barack Obama and John McCain will take the stage in Nashville, Tennessee to do as so many others have done before them: to spin yarns about financial woes, lost jobs and 1960s radical domestic terrorists.

With actual policy discussion being so last week, this should prove to be an exhilarating battle to see if Obama can say "Lehman Brothers" and "Charles Keating" more often than McCain can say "William Ayers" and "Jeremiah Wright." Definitely some nonsensical bullshit that should not be missed.

As always, we'll be liveblogging the whole thing right here in this very post. So, keep your eyes peeled, your ears open and your gag reflex well-massaged.

So, they opened up the forum to people all across the country, who were invited to use a medium called the "Internet" to submit their own question. The organizers thought they might get as many as several dozen questions, which could then be pared down to a more manageable size.

They got six million of them…

At least six million questions have been submitted via the Internet to be asked at the town-hall-style presidential debate Tuesday in Nashville between Senators Barack Obama and John McCain. That’s a lot of queries for 90 minutes, and obviously they won’t all get asked — there will be time for only 15 to 20.

The moderator, Tom Brokaw of NBC News, is sifting through those millions of questions to find six or seven that he might pose. The other dozen or so questions will come from among an audience of about 80 likely voters from the Nashville area who will be on stage with the candidates.

Now, if there's anyone who can read through six million questions and bring them down to seven, it's Tom Brokaw. Fortunately for him, a lot of the questions submitted were repeats. For instance…

* 850,000 asked, "What is your opinion on the economy?"

* 1.2 million asked, "Barack Obama, is it true that you are a secret Muslim?"

* 2.7 million asked, "Are the odds that Sarah Palin will consent to a Playboy spread higher or lower if she is elected?"

It's what women of America are beginning to see. Because Senator Obama had the choice of Senator Clinton or Governor Sebelius to go in the number two spot on that ticket. He passed over them. The comments he made last night.

He followed the lipstick on a pig comment with talking about old fish wrapped in paper. Senator Obama is a smart man. And he is very highly educated. And I think that it was unfortunate. He knew what he was speaking, the words he was speaking.

Yes, this is indeed the world you live in.

And these people are our elected representatives.

Now, try and enjoy your evening.