We know that November 3, 2009 isn't a real Election Day. But still, we can all pretend. Right? Take a look at these six elections and let us know how much you care.
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Lt. Col. Allen West (Ret), who is running for Congress in Florida's 22nd District, released a statement on Friday morning that heavily insinuated that Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan — the soldier responsible for the Fort Hood killings — was a Muslim extremist.
"This enemy preys on downtrodden soldiers and teaches them extremism will lift them up," West said, in a statement titled "Terrorists Are Infiltrating Military". "Our soldiers are being brainwashed."…
In releasing his statement, West appears to be the first politician to claim a link between Malik Hasan's shooting rampage and Islamic extremism or terrorism. Reports on the incident aren't 100 percent clear. But they generally suggest that Malik Hasan was acting out of intense stress over a pending deployment to Iraq. That said, authorities have not ruled out that Hasan was acting on the behest of an unidentified radical group. Hasan was a lifelong Muslim who worked at a psychiatric hospital in Bethesda, Maryland.
Please bear in mind that Col. West managed to win this award without the use of nearly any pertinent information or time for serious analysis.
Here's a quick question for you: What's the single biggest threat facing Americans today? If you said terrorism, you're close. That's definitely a huge threat that you should really be more afraid of — especially today, on Election Day — but it's only number two.
As the House convened Monday afternoon, Ms. [Virginia] Foxx, a North Carolina Republican, lashed out at the proposal Democrats are trying to bring to the floor for a vote by the weekend, hitting it for potentially using tax dollars to pay for abortions, among other things…
"I believe we have more to fear from the potential of that bill passing than we do from any terrorist right now in any country," Ms. Foxx said, adding later: "It is a bad bill and the American people should be frightened of it."
You know what we should do? We should give health care to the terrorists. Or would that violate the Geneva Conventions?
Its 2009. Osama bin Laden is still at large. And, apparently, the United States' relationship with Pakistan is not paying the kind of dividends we'd like to see.
U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said Friday she did not come to Pakistan for "happy talk."
Her three-day trip is aimed at getting frank, open discussions going about the fight against terrorism, and that includes presenting U.S. concerns about how much success Pakistan is having, she said.
In an interview with CNN, Clinton said it's time to "clear the air" with a key U.S. ally. She added, "I don't think the way you deal with negative feelings is to pretend they're not there."
There ya go. Pervez Musharraf won't be able to counter that. Especially not if she follows it up with a "So, you first gained power via a military coup… How's that working out for you?" Then when he's all, "You're not the same country, I did photo ops with eight years ago," she can be all "I can't help you, Pakistan. Only you can help you."
Faced with that kind of diplomacy, Musharraf's only option would be to Springer it up with a "It's my country, I do what I want!"
And that, my friends, is how we win this war on terror.
Do you feel just a little bit safer than you did, say, three days ago? Sure you do, and here's why: Liz "Dick" Cheney has launched a new venture, Keep America Safe, right here on the internet. If the rest of her work is as effective as this welcome video, she should earn her junior warmongering badge by the end of next month…
In case it isn't 100% clear, the KAS mission statement notes that "Keep America Safe believes the United States can only defeat our adversaries and defend our interests from a position of strengh." I am not sure where Strengh is — near Kabul, maybe? — but rest assured, Liz Cheney will defend it to the last sandbag.
Former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice weighs in on the controversial How will Afghanistan destroy us all? issue…
"The last time we left Afghanistan, and we abandoned Pakistan," she said, "that territory became the very territory on which Al Qaeda trained and attacked us on September 11th. So our national security interests are very much tied up in not letting Afghanistan fail again and become a safe haven for terrorists.
"It's that simple," she declared, "if you want another terrorist attack in the U.S., abandon Afghanistan."
Or… you can just decide to ignore CIA memos on expected terrorist activity on U.S. soil.
People seemed to respond well when I posted this last year, so I thought I'd do it again. It's the September 20, 2001 episode of The Daily Show in it's entirety. I've never been able to put any meaningful words together about 9/11 and this really isn't the venue for that anyway, so I'll just say I hope you get something out of watching this, be it comfort, enjoyment or simply a welcome distraction.
And The Karl Rove Award for Most Speedy and Shameless Use of a National Tragedy for Personal Political Gain goes to…
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Here's a quick question for you: What's the single biggest threat facing Americans today? If you said terrorism, you're close. That's definitely a huge threat that you should really be more afraid of — especially today, on Election Day — but it's only number two.
Its 2009. Osama bin Laden is still at large. And, apparently, the United States' relationship with Pakistan is not paying the kind of dividends we'd like to see.
Former Secretary of State 
