We know that November 3, 2009 isn't a real Election Day. But still, we can all pretend. Right? Take a look at these six elections and let us know how much you care.
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Michael Kraskin — blogging from his new home at Political Machine — thinks he might have discovered Alaska governor Sarah Palin in last night's episode of 30 Rock, . What do you think?
I can't really tell. That could be her, standing next to Alec Baldwin, in that background portrait. We know that they met on SNL that one time.
On the the other hand, it could just be Tina Fey. Or possibly Bill Kristol. Hard to tell.
Many experts believe body language is more important than verbal communication. I would quote one of these experts to further validate my statement, but whenever questioned, most body language experts just shrug and give a thumb's up.
Whatever, the point is, President Obama is often photographed at various events, and we here at Indecision decided to analyze these images in order to truly understand our president and our nation's current state. First up is this image of President Obama confiding in Vice President Biden.
"You are a loyal Vice President and I respect you."
I bet you all thought I was going to comment on this image's seeming homoeroticism, but I assure you, this site is not immature to stoop to that level of grade-school joke-making… Sorry, hold on, I'm getting a call from my boss…
Nevermind. Scratch that. I've just been informed we are that immature.
Joe Biden: "What will people say?"
Barack Obama: "They'll say, 'Those two politicians are very much in love."
Please click after the jump to continue reading our intelligent and sober analysis and also fart jokes.
With winds of change expected to reach 95 miles per hour next week, D.C. officials have convinced President Bush to declare a state of emergency in the Capitol, freeing up millions of dollars in federal disaster funding.
Settle down, settle down, they just don't have a category for "federal happytimes funding"…
The declaration was requested by D.C. Mayor Adrian Fenty, who warns that inauguration crowds could overwhelm area hospitals and emergency responders.
District officials expect Barack Obama’s inauguration to cost more than $47 million, according to a plea for money sent earlier this month to Congressional representatives by Fenty along with Maryland and Virginia Govs. Martin O’Malley and Tim Kaine.
The total cost anticipated by the National Capital Region is more than $75 million, according to the same letter.
Which means, of course, that Maryland and Virginia Govs. Martin O'Malley and Tim "Browbeat 'Em" Kaine now have their hands out with multi-million dollar requests for federal funding, assistance they say they need to control the hope-drunk crowds flooding their streets with hope…
O’Malley spokesman Rick Abbruzzese said the D.C. emergency declaration made later in the afternoon offered Maryland…
Team Obama — I'm lookin' at you, Plouffe — has one week left to wrap up its spamming, because once the president-elect takes the oath of office, the use of his campaign contact lists will be restricted by law.
So what will become of all the email addresses Obama collected? Well, according to reports, he's thinking of giving his lists to Tim Kaine, the new leader of the Democratic National Committee. You should probably set up an inbox filter right now…
During the campaign, the Obama operation garnered approximately 13 million e-mail addresses, a million sign-ups for the Obama camp's text-messaging service, 2 million participants in the campaign's proprietary social network on MyBarackObama.com, and 5 million supporters on more than 15 other social networking sites including Facebook, according to a report by Washingtonpost.com. [...]
But the use of Obama's lists is not without its challenges. "It's a lot easier to get 13 million people excited about one thing like electing a particular person," [technology expert Andrew] Rasiej said. "That's very different from getting them to switch to new, more energy-efficient light bulbs or to stop driving their SUVs."
Maybe I've come down with that list fatigue people keep talking about, but at this point I just can't tell which is more exciting: being told to buy crappy souvenir mugs I can't afford, or being scolded about my light bulbs.
I guess I could muster one final burst of e-nthusiasm if Governor Kaine promised to email us shocking, never-before-seen photos of his freaky eyebrow.
Let's face it, Virginia. Your governor, Tim Kaine, is a little… well… sane. I mean he's a really great guy. He's done wonders for the state budget. But why isn't he on MSNBC screaming at Chris Matthews? Why isn't he on the Daily Show, bewildering the hell out of Jon Stewart? Why isn't he riding a mechanical bull into the wee hours of the night?
Former Democratic National Committee chairman Terry McAuliffe filed papers Monday necessary to run for governor in Virginia next year. McAuliffe established his campaign committee, Friends of Terry McAuliffe, with the State Board of Elections and will tour Virginia for the next 60 days before making his candidacy certain…
A native of upstate New York, McAuliffe, 51, has lived in Virginia for about 17 years. He lives in the Washington, D.C., suburb of McLean.
Interesting fact about McAuliffe: He's not very good at winning elections. The Democrats lost seats in Congress throughout his term as DNC Chair. He couldn't get John Kerry into the Oval Office. And his candidate for president lost her primary, although it's possible they haven't told that to Terry yet.
But you'd better believe he'll stir things up in Virginia. Whether downing shots with Joe Scarborough or hosting visits from Pope Hillary Clinton, a Governor McAuliffe will make Tim Kaine seem as boring as his successor, Mark Warner.
Well, actually that's a bit harsh. How about only as boring as a monotone recitation of The Iliad in the original Ancient Greek with pauses for the earth's crust to harden?
Last week, you read in this space that Virginia Governor Tim Kaine's freakish eyebrow would be the downfall of his vice presidential prospects, the Democratic Party, and humanity in general.
For those keeping score, we're one for three so far.
The story took a new turn last night, when Kaine appeared on the Daily Show and directly responded to our critique. He acknowledged his Quasimodo-like visage and presented Jon Stewart with an "arched eyebrow" pin to commemorate his failure as a VP contender.
On a personal note, this was a revelation. Having spent roughly 15 years trying to communicate my views to aloof politicians, I now only regret that I hadn’t mocked their collective appearance far, far sooner.
In hopes of extending the streak, I'll now officially submit that Alaska Governor Sarah Palin dresses far too conservatively for the American public.
You can thank me down the road for the yet-to-be-taped but surely imminent hottest. Daily Show. ever.
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With winds of change expected to reach 95 miles per hour next week, D.C. officials have convinced President Bush to 
Let's face it, Virginia. Your governor, Tim Kaine, is a little… well… sane. I mean he's a really great guy. He's done wonders for the state budget. But why isn't he on MSNBC 
