I can't really tell. That could be her, standing next to Alec Baldwin, in that background portrait. We know that they met on SNL that one time.

On the the other hand, it could just be Tina Fey. Or possibly Bill Kristol. Hard to tell.

Let's zoom in a little and take a closer look…

It's not Bill Kristol. Well, mostly likely not. I have no idea how he dresses off the clock. Let's get in there closer…

Still not sure. Could totally be Sarah Palin, though it's also starting to look a little like DNC chair Tim Kaine. Should we bring this in a little closer? Let's…

If  that's Tim Kaine, he's certainly gotten a lot more amoeba-ish lately. Hmmm… Maybe it's Rush Limbaugh. Goddamnit! I still can't say for sure.

Wait a minute. I've got an idea. Lemme try something real quick…

Oh, yeah. That's her. No doubt about it.

Whatever, the point is, President Obama is often photographed at various events, and we here at Indecision decided to analyze these images in order to truly understand our president and our nation's current state. First up is this image of President Obama confiding in Vice President Biden.

"You are a loyal Vice President and I respect you."

I bet you all thought I was going to comment on this image's seeming homoeroticism, but I assure you, this site is not immature to stoop to that level of grade-school joke-making… Sorry, hold on, I'm getting a call from my boss…

Nevermind. Scratch that. I've just been informed we are that immature.

Joe Biden: "What will people say?"

Barack Obama: "They'll say, 'Those two politicians are very much in love."

Please click after the jump to continue reading our intelligent and sober analysis and also fart jokes.

Here's Obama with DNC Chairman Tim Kaine. They seem friendly enough, but if you read into Obama's body language, you realize there's a very stern and direct message being delivered.

"I know you're the chairman of the DNC, Tim Kaine, but if you screw up, I will squeeze your testicles so hard, they'll call you the chairwoman of the DNC, ya dig?"

As the reporter mysteriously choked, Obama's body language secretly stated, "I find your lack of faith disturbing, Admiral."

"My fifth grade report card, ladies and gentlemen. Straight A's. Nothin' but net. Anyone still doubt me?"

"What do you mean they supermarket is out of Cap'n Crunch, Michelle?"

"God, I wish I could hold up another one of my fingers at these assholes."

"If you are President, raise your hand. If your hand isn't up, then please shut the fuck up. Thanks."

"How many times do I have to teach you guys how to play the slap hands game?"

"Mmm, my fingers still taste like Michelle."

I'm guessing the photographer who snapped this next picture was hoping it would become a grand symbol of Obama reaching out to the American people.

But everyone knew this was what Obama was subconsciously communicating…

I guess that all degraded to an infantile level of immaturity very quickly, huh? The worst part is I just wasted an opportunity to engage in intelligent discourse and analysis in order to treat our president like a stupid web meme.

Well, as long as the damage is done…

No need to thank me. I'm just doing the Lord's work.

Settle down, settle down, they just don't have a category for "federal happytimes funding"…

The declaration was requested by D.C. Mayor Adrian Fenty, who warns that inauguration crowds could overwhelm area hospitals and emergency responders.

District officials expect Barack Obama’s inauguration to cost more than $47 million, according to a plea for money sent earlier this month to Congressional representatives by Fenty along with Maryland and Virginia Govs. Martin O’Malley and Tim Kaine.

The total cost anticipated by the National Capital Region is more than $75 million, according to the same letter.

Which means, of course, that Maryland and Virginia Govs. Martin O'Malley and Tim "Browbeat 'Em" Kaine now have their hands out with multi-million dollar requests for federal funding, assistance they say they need to control the hope-drunk crowds flooding their streets with hope…

O’Malley spokesman Rick Abbruzzese said the D.C. emergency declaration made later in the afternoon offered Maryland…

Money? Helicopters? Police dogs? Storm troopers? Malaria tablets?

…a bit of hope.

Eh, may as well throw a match at the forest fire.

So what will become of all the email addresses Obama collected? Well, according to reports, he's thinking of giving his lists to Tim Kaine, the new leader of the Democratic National Committee. You should probably set up an inbox filter right now…

During the campaign, the Obama operation garnered approximately 13 million e-mail addresses, a million sign-ups for the Obama camp's text-messaging service, 2 million participants in the campaign's proprietary social network on MyBarackObama.com, and 5 million supporters on more than 15 other social networking sites including Facebook, according to a report by Washingtonpost.com. [...]

But the use of Obama's lists is not without its challenges. "It's a lot easier to get 13 million people excited about one thing like electing a particular person," [technology expert Andrew] Rasiej said. "That's very different from getting them to switch to new, more energy-efficient light bulbs or to stop driving their SUVs."

Maybe I've come down with that list fatigue people keep talking about, but at this point I just can't tell which is more exciting: being told to buy crappy souvenir mugs I can't afford, or being scolded about my light bulbs.

I guess I could muster one final burst of e-nthusiasm if Governor Kaine promised to email us shocking, never-before-seen photos of his freaky eyebrow.

Virginia, what you need is a healthy dose of Terry McAuliffe…

Former Democratic National Committee chairman Terry McAuliffe filed papers Monday necessary to run for governor in Virginia next year. McAuliffe established his campaign committee, Friends of Terry McAuliffe, with the State Board of Elections and will tour Virginia for the next 60 days before making his candidacy certain…

A native of upstate New York, McAuliffe, 51, has lived in Virginia for about 17 years. He lives in the Washington, D.C., suburb of McLean.

Interesting fact about McAuliffe:  He's not very good at winning elections.  The Democrats lost seats in Congress throughout his term as DNC Chair.  He couldn't get John Kerry into the Oval Office.  And his candidate for president lost her primary, although it's possible they haven't told that to Terry yet.

But you'd better believe he'll stir things up in Virginia.  Whether downing shots with Joe Scarborough or hosting visits from Pope Hillary Clinton, a Governor McAuliffe will make Tim Kaine seem as boring as his successor, Mark Warner.

Well, actually that's a bit harsh.  How about only as boring as a monotone recitation of The Iliad in the original Ancient Greek with pauses for the earth's crust to harden?

For those keeping score, we're one for three so far.

The story took a new turn last night, when Kaine appeared on the Daily Show and directly responded to our critique. He acknowledged his Quasimodo-like visage and presented Jon Stewart with an "arched eyebrow" pin to commemorate his failure as a VP contender.

On a personal note, this was a revelation. Having spent roughly 15 years trying to communicate my views to aloof politicians, I now only regret that I hadn’t mocked their collective appearance far, far sooner.

In hopes of extending the streak, I'll now officially submit that Alaska Governor Sarah Palin dresses far too conservatively for the American public.

You can thank me down the road for the yet-to-be-taped but surely imminent hottest. Daily Show. ever.

Below, watch Jon Stewart talk about Tim Kaine's response to the 2006 State of the Union.

The man has no chance of being elected to the second-highest office in the Free World because — and this is so obvious I almost feel foolish reporting it — his left eyebrow is inadequate.

According to Roll Call, the newspaper of Capitol Hill…

Kaine's brows — arched, wiggly and what most people remember from the Democrat's rebuttal to the State of the Union speech in 2006 — have become one of the chief objections from some pundits to Kaine taking a spot on the Democratic ticket.

News media in Kaine's home state couldn't agree more. The Hampton Roads Daily Press has published its "Top 10 Reasons Not To Choose Kaine," and topping the list — ahead of minimal name recognition and lack of foreign policy experience — was The Eyebrow.

While this news illuminates the obvious point that Tim Kaine must no longer be allowed around children — much less the White House — it raises problems for Obama as he searches for a running mate without a grotesque deformity.

Whether it's Bill Richardson and his creepy goatee or Hillary Clinton and her second X chromosome, most of Obama's VP options possess physical quirks even more distracting than the Senator's own ears.

This is not to say that John McCain has it much easier. Anyone taken a close look at Joe Lieberman's jowls recently?