Here he is, one last time…

Really too bad about this inglorious end to Tom DeLay's dancing career.

I just hope it doesn't tarnish his legacy too much.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

"This has been going on forever. When I did my town hall meetings — I'll never forget one back in the 80s, on health care, by the way. They brought in quadriplegics on gurneys and dumped them on the floor in front of my podium. This is not new. What's new is the people who came into disrupt my town meetings, we just let them go on," DeLay said.

Weird! Tom DeLay can't forget that incident, but no one else can remember it. I'm sure it happened if he said it did, though. And I'm sure Tom DeLay subsequently cured those quadriplegics by laying his hands on them, which is probably why people were dumping them on the floor in front of his podium in the first place.

I mean, what other reasonable explanation is there?

Don't believe me?

I know I'm supposed to be incredulous about this, but I guess I'm just all out of incredulous juice for the time being.

And I don't really think this is a matter of slumming or pandering to the worst elements of society for attention.

That show's been in steady decline for years.

If there were any doubts about the once-mighty party's hilarious new role in American society, they vanished in recent weeks, as the Republican leadership's attempt to stop the passage of Barack Obama's budget turned into one of the most half-assed public-relations campaigns in congressional history.

Watching this amazingly amateurish performance by a party that not long ago was led by highly skilled and ruthless political assassins like Tom DeLay and Karl Rove was just the latest bummer in the spiraling American-decline story. Not only don't we make good cars or airplanes anymore — now our Republicans have apparently lost their touch for evil politics.

Watching the GOP in decline is, for me, kinda like watching one of those monster movies — like King Kong or Frankenstein – in which you actually start feeling sad for the thing that you're supposed to be afraid of.

Except, without the "feeling sad" part.

Interestingly, I like the way I hate Tom DeLay.

Activists at a conservative political forum snapped up boxes of waffle mix depicting Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama as a racial stereotype on its front and wearing Arab-like headdress on its top flap…

While Obama Waffles takes aim at Obama's politics by poking fun at his public remarks and positions on issues, it also plays off the image of the classic pancake-mix icon Aunt Jemima, which has been widely criticized as a demeaning stereotype. Obama is portrayed with popping eyes and big, thick lips as he stares at a plate of waffles and smiles broadly.

Placing Obama in Arab-like headdress recalls the false rumor that he is a follower of Islam, though he is actually a Christian.

The Values Voter Summit, (which presumably owes George Orwell royalties on its name,) featured a lineup of speakers whose names literally define "values," such as Tom DeLay, Rush Limbaugh, and Lou Dobbs — who must have thrown in a request that the Obama Waffles degrade Mexicans as well…

On the back of the box, Obama is depicted in stereotypical Mexican dress, including a sombrero, above a recipe for "Open Border Fiesta Waffles" that says it can serve "4 or more illegal aliens." The recipe includes a tip: "While waiting for these zesty treats to invade your home, why not learn a foreign language?"

Apparently the sombrero won Dobbs over, since he was later caught on camera buying a box for his wife.

But unfortunately for the other Values Voters, the Obama Waffles were pulled from sale after event organizers noticed — three days into the event — that they displayed "offensive material."

Either that or they wanted to hide them before Michael Steele arrived for his speech. Awk-ward!

Abramoff is already serving a nearly six-year term on unrelated charges and the new sentence will be served at the same time, meaning he will not spend any extra time behind bars once his original sentence ends in 2012.

But Abramoff will serve at least four more years in prison, even if his lawyers are successful in getting a reduction in his first sentence on charges of fraud in the purchase of a Florida casino cruise line. When his terms expire, he will have spent nearly six years in prison.

Since he won't be leaving jail until Joe Lieberman is the Republican nominee for president, Abramoff ought to put his lobbying skills to use in his new home. To parallel his old life, he could negotiate a Sunday-night pinochle monopoly for his cellblock and pay off the warden with a kickball junket to the exercise yard.

And when he's done with that, he can make up a bed for DeLay.

DeLay asks: "Are you concerned by the growing evidence that there are powerful forces inside our government and out who are quietly moving to have America absorbed into a globalist style 'North American Union' with Canada and Mexico?"

Yes, Tom Delay, I am concerned about that pressing, not at all invented to exploit retarded people's xenophobia, issue. Very concerned.

But not as concerned as I am about "the growing evidence" that many of our country's conservative representatives who are forced to quit their elected positions after being indicted of violating campaign finance laws can wash my balls with a warm, wet rag.

Tom DeLay, never leave us again!

While speaking on a conservative radio show yesterday, the good money-launderer…

…launched a fringe attack on Sen. Barack Obama (D-IL) by claiming that he is a Marxist. "I have said publicly, and I will again, that unless he proves me wrong, he is a Marxist."

Oh, Tom DeLay! You're so Tom DeLay. How do you do it?

Anyway, I could try for the rest of my life and never come up with a better response than Hunter at Daily Kos…

Unless he proves me wrong, Tom Delay lures children into his van with candy, gasses them to death with bug spray, and uses their powdered bones as an aphrodisiac when making love to all the animals at the San Antonio Sea World.

Alright, Tom DeLay, the burden of proof is on you.